When Memories Fail
by Fireshine
Summary: Edward is kidnapped and tortured... all for a twisted plot of revenge against Carlisle, only everyone is innocent and Bella, although she has amnesia, is very determined to get him back, for some reason. Dark themes. AU. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – absence of details**

**Bella's pov**

I walked down the halls confidently, in my tatty jeans, converses, t-shirt and hoodie, with my old haggard bag slung over one shoulder. I had my ipod earphones in, although no music was playing. I found that when people assumed you were in a world of your own they tended to relax and speak more openly, even if the conversation is obviously private and you're standing quite near to them. Also, my ipod was actually a state-of-the-art communications device, with built in... extras.

But what would a communications device be without some way to communicate back? Well, that's where the gum came in. Only it wasn't gum. It was the part of my "ipod" which allowed me to communicate back with HQ, or whoever else that I might need to talk to, the "gum", along with my "ipod", gave me the perfect camouflage, the "gum" and the "ipod" gave me and excuse to move my mouth – with out looking suspicious – and if anyone could make out words on my lips? Well, to them I was singing along with whatever song was playing wasn't I?

I sat in the plush leather chair that smelled musty and almost swallowed me whole when I sat down. My eyes scanned the room, taking in the rich wooden shelves filled with myriads of books, some old, some new, some leather-bound, some paper-back, thousands of pages crammed together, hordes of words strung along, all building into knowledge. The black ink the key to understanding and unlocking the imagination, if the right readers let it. But this knowledge was harmless, just conventional histories and scientific theories suitable for general viewing, along with fiction.

I pulled down on my sleeve to cover the scar that I had there, it wasn't huge but it was noticeable, noticeable enough to blow my cover if someone spotted it more than once. My mind wondered back to the mission that got me that scar, driving round, collecting clues to where the bomb was, then when I finally get there, having to go past a guard. Seriously, who guards a bomb? Anyway, once he was unconscious I had to defuse the bomb – naturally, time was short – then and only then did I notice the gash on my forearm.

But the targets were arriving now, I set my "ipod" to record and pulled out a book. A book that just happened to have a microscopic camera mounted into the front cover. The hardest part would be to remember to turn the pages.

We had a good idea of what they were planning, but we needed more details, and I was here to get them. Their operation seemed to consist of stealing – thank god for the library being quiet so I could hear – they wanted something, and they were going to use whatever "the bronze" was to get it. Some medals possibly? I noted down my thoughts in my notebook before I forgot them.

Stealing. That was low priority, non-urgent. But apparently it would be enough to get what they wanted, maybe it was extremely valuable, sentimentally, usually people use kidnapping, but Esme and Carlisle Cullen have no children, they're... unable.

Now the tricky decision, do we let them steal "the bronze" and hope to catch all of the criminals involved, or stop them before? The way blondie and dreads – nicknames I gave them to distinguish between them clearer in my mind – in the corner were talking, it was going to happen soon – and we still had next to no details! So now, all we have left is option one. The one that's most rewarding, but also the most tricky – usually, although I get the feeling that this is going to be harder than all the other cases we've worked on.

They said that if plan A didn't work they would have to go down a more _direct_ route, death threats? We really needed more information, but they were being meticulous in their planning, and it was moving full steam ahead almost before we could catch up. The Cullens might need some protection.

"Hey, Jaz, did you get all of that?" I asked as I walked into our base.

This was not the base you would expect for a secret government security programme, mainly because they recruited Alice. That could be considered a good thing though, the interior was a modern design with lots of bright colours, and behind the walls, stood our ammo and other gadget stores, to get to them, first, you needed to have broken into the secure building, then you need to stand on the _exact_ spot on the floor and touch the _exact_ spot on the wall, then you needed to have both the right fingerprints and the right retinas. If anyone got in here by accident, under the impression that this was in actual fact, a flat, then they wouldn't be disappointed.

"Yep, I sure did Bells," he winked at me.

"Don't let Alice catch you flirting like that, you know its more than your life's worth if her or Em catch you at it," I countered his playful flirting, I guess being stuck in front of computer screens all day made you have a death wish.

"Aww, but you and Rosie know I'm only joking right? You wouldn't tell would you? Lead a good friend to his doom?" he pouted at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Lets just get on with this," I countered returning to business, "It's obvious they're planning to steal something important, but its probably too late to stop it now, so we'll have to grab the bait and set our own trap."

"Yeah, I agree with you there," Jaz nodded seriously agreeing with my assessment.

"We'll need to get a field agent in for protection, but undercover and ASAP, the Cullens don't even know they're targeted yet, it's better to get someone in and with their trust before anything happens."

"So, whose going to go? And how are we going to place the agent in there?"

"Eh, we can do rock paper scissors," I brushed off the question of who was going to go and started thinking about how we could get someone in there.

"How about a long lost relative? They're probably kind enough to take in someone like that straight away," Jaz suggested.

I shook my head, "Too emotional, we want to protect them, not get their hopes up then crush them once they're no longer in physical danger..." I trailed off, "But you're right about the part about them taking in anyone who needs a place to stay," then an idea hit me, "the husband is a doctor right? So we fake an accident that he treats, then, when I have to go home, I tell him I have nowhere to go then, bam! He invites me to stay, with no strings attached," I said slightly smugly.

"Yeah yeah _Tinkerbell_, you had the better idea," Jaz said flipping his blonde hair out of his eyes and letting his southern drawl show through.

"Why thank you, _Mr Smooth,_" there was no way I was going to let him get away with calling me _Tinkerbell._

The phone rang then and Jaz stretched over the back of his chair to answer it, the ringtone was the superman theme tune so it was Em calling.

"I'll have the king prawn noodles with sweet and sour sauce please," I told Jaz as he was going to answer the phone, Em was just too predictable.

Jaz nodded at me to let me know he had heard and flipped the phone open, "Yeah Bells wants king prawn noodles with sweet and sour sauce, and I'll have the vegetable Singapore," he said before Em could even get a word in, then, after a pause, Jaz laughed, "because you're so transparent," and hung the phone up.

"Rosie is with him and Alice is on her way," he reported.

"Should I leave now?" I asked, I wasn't particularly fond of watching the snogging fest that was definitely going to happen right in front of me, "I'll go work out, I need to make sure I'm still in good shape if I get this mission," I winked.

"Look who's flirting now, and anyway, your our best field agent, you're skills are always fine-tuned."

"Only because I work out so much," I retorted, "let me know when the food arrives."

I worked out for two hours, improving my strength, flexibility and agility, I practised combat a little but I really needed a partner for that. I relished the familiar burn of my muscles as I worked, the increase in my breathing, the release of the frustration I felt at not coming much closer to "cracking the Cullen case". We were not used to failing, we were the best in the business, that's why we were chosen for this case, but this lack of progress was definitely disconcerting, were we losing it?

It felt good to focus on something else, something that was going _right_ for once. And the ritual made it even more comforting. I felt the heated sheen of sweat seep over my body, I felt my clothes stick to me, following every movement of my slick skin. _This_ was what I lived for, putting the criminals behind bars... _justice._ I always looked up to... _him,_ he always stood up for me, and I wanted to be so much like him, I wanted to stand up for him too... and when I did I felt such satisfaction defending people, I knew that that was what I wanted to do with my life.

I took my anger and frustration out on the punch bag. I just kept hitting it and hitting it, not feeling anything but my emotions and tension flowing out of me with each punch of the bag. But eventually I was completely drained, emotionally and physically. I stood there panting then eventually sat down fingering my faded friendship bracelet that meant so much more than friendship to me.

I pictured his blonde hair that was just beginning to darken when I last saw him, his light eyes and his round cheeks, he had been so cute and adorable as a boy. It didn't matter that he was a year younger than me, he was as tall as me but most of all, he made me feel happy just by being there. Everything seemed so simple back then, not for the first time I longed to be with him, for him to make all my problems to away again, to make everything seem so much brighter.

I ate with everyone once I had finished, and I won the rock, paper, scissors and got to be the lucky, lucky agent assigned to protect the Cullens from death threats that may-or-may-not exist in the near future, which only makes it harder as we cant be certain about anything, there's no clear objective – other than to keep everyone alive – and definitely no plan, it would all – more or less – be thinking on the spot. I think everyone was relieved that Em didn't win, it was obvious that we were dealing with something meticulously organised and they probably had more than one back up plan. _Sigh_, we would need to make plans then refine them as we got more details, _details were the key!_

We decided to proceed cautiously, there didn't seem to be any immediate danger and I would be essentially going in blind, when the time came for some intervention. We got almost no more discernible information from them... other than plans to acquire "The Bronze" and also the plans for storage were going to be set in motion _very_ soon.. That meant that the Cullens would receive a message shortly after, meaning that we had already probably left it a little too long.

Now was the time for action, we would just have to take the risk... _I_ would just have to take the risk. I inwardly sighed, the things I do for the public. I would leave in the next few days, I would fake car troubles on the road then also fake almost being run-over, I would look scared and sound desperate. I would confess I had nowhere to go. I would plead with them to take me in, for a short while, I would offer to pull my own weight in the house, I would sound terrified of being rejected and – hopefully – they would take me in.

So that was how I came to be driving down a deserted road cutting through the middle of a forest on my way to Forks. I had my new identity printed on the driver's licence in my wallet, Jezebel Sparrow, stupid Jasper and his stupid sense of humour. I didn't even know if _Sparrow_ was a reference to _Pirates of the Caribbean_ or to my own surname, Swan, I didn't even know which I would prefer it to be.

There was a light drizzle misting down on the road, I chose my spot carefully and pulled over. I got out and disabled the car and got back inside to call for help. I looked in the mirror and saw that I was just wet enough to look like a drowned rat – _perfect._

I lifted my wet fingers to smudge my mascara a bit and when I was satisfied that I looked bedraggled enough, I picked up my phone. I turned up the heating in the car as the rain started to seep under my skin bringing a chill with it that had me shivering violently. As I listened to the phone ringing in my ear I stared out at the rain that was now pummelling down loudly on the roof of the car. I caught a flash of movement in my peripheral vision. My eyes immediately snapped towards the rear-view mirror and widened. _Holy shit!_ A large truck was hurtling around the bend, swerving around on the wet tarmac and failing to right itself.

Would I survive this? I could only watch as the truck came careering towards the car I was sat in. I was abruptly, painfully aware of the friendship bracelet on my wrist, why had I not found him? Why had I not looked for him, especially once I had the resources to?

"_Hello this is the emergency services how may we help y-" _CRUNCH.

I heard the metallic shrieking of the frame of the car as the truck collided with it, the protective cage I was in buckling and being shunted off the road. I was hurled through the tiny space in the car and hit the other side – forcefully.

I registered nothing before the blackness took me, maybe pain, but it was fleeting and gone before I got a chance to recognise it. I was out cold on impact. My last conscious thought wondering to the friendship bracelet that was still on my wrist.

**Random paramedic's pov**

We were on our way to the accident and we had been told that it probably wouldn't be pretty. When we got to the scene of the accident I didn't stop to look at the sight, knowing that I would probably stop and stare, the shock of the total carnage that can happen on the road was not something you could get used to. That wasn't helpful to being a paramedic, especially when time was of the essence. I kept my head down as I ran to where the car was, I focused my mind on the patient, what she would need, what instructions I would have to give, whether we could get her out, if we would need the fire brigade to cut her out of the car. If I only allowed myself to see what was directly in front of my eyes, blocking out the whole picture, then the magnitude of the accident wouldn't break through and I would be able to do my job effectively, and hopefully save the girl's life.

I looked in the window of the car to see a probably pretty brunette – relatively unscathed considering the severity of the crash – unconscious and sprawled across the passenger seat of the car, with a little blood seeping down the back of her neck, now we had to worry about blood-loss too. I sighed, another driver who hadn't been wearing their seatbelt, they were invented for a reason.

But still, I mustn't judge. We worked furiously to pull her from the wreckage safely. We strapped her tightly to the stretcher and wheeled her towards the ambulance where we began working to save her life.

We were at the hospital in record time as there less people on the road, and I sighed and sat down as the doctors and nurses took over. I saw Jeff rest his head in his hands, he always took it hard seeing people unconscious like that.

"It's not your problem, mate," I said clasping him on the shoulder, "she should've worn her seatbelt."

He looked at me with troubled eyes, "That wasn't the problem Chris, her car was completely stationary when the truck driver hit her, they think she had broken down and was waiting in her car out of the rain."

"oh," was all I said, there was nothing else to say, we could now only hope that the girl would survive.

**A/N - **well, this is my new story, just thought I'd try something a little different, got myself a new beta too, carliecullenx, so, yeah, review if you like it and its worth carrying on, and if i dont get enough reviews (about 5?) well... no more story, simple as. =]


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - **ok, so i know i said no review, no story... but i had this chapter already written as it took me so long to find a beta before i found carliecullenx that i managed to write this chapter and a fair bit of the next chapter too. so, after only one review i decided that this story probably wasnt going to happen, but i already had this chapter so i decided to post this and if i still dont get a decent amount of reviews then yeah... no story.

all im asking for is five reviews... please! =[

**Chapter 2 – bloodied and bruised**

**Edwards pov**

_Forks._

I hated the damn place. I hated the rain, I hated that there was bugger all to do here, but, most of all, I hated the _people._ To them, I was just a spoilt rich kid. That simple knowledge, the knowledge of the amount in my aunt and uncle's bank account made everyone here fluorescent green with envy. Well, most of them anyway. At first I got a lot of female attention, it was odd but I was flattered... then embarrassed as I tried over and over again to communicate to them that I wasn't romantically interested in any of them, but they were very determined to believe I was just playing _hard-to-get_.

I think Seth must have felt really sorry for me one day and came to my rescue when I was cornered by a group of... _wild_ girls, and we have been best friends ever since. I'm sure at first, it was mostly out of pity, but as we got to know each other, our friendship grew into a genuine appreciation of each other. Soon after, Ben and Angela joined us, those two were also kind and weren't obsessed with the amount of money my family had.

Most people eventually took the hint that I _didn't_, in fact, appreciate almost the entire female population of Forks – that's right, _Forks_, not just the school - cornering me at every available opportunity. And that would honestly have been a tremendous relief, if it wasn't for... certain individuals who couldn't take a hint. Perhaps I would've given in, agreed to go on a date with them – they certainly were persistent, could they really want me that bad? – and I was even considering relenting, but I overheard them bitching and plotting, I heard them say evil and untrue things about my friends – and if that alone was enough to put me off, _for life_ – then they started talking about a bet they made about who would get a date with me first. I walked – almost ran – away instantly, repulsed by their lack of, both personality and morals, and thoroughly disgusted with myself for even _considering_ going out with them. If their first advances irritating, then after that, their mere _presence_ was infuriating.

It was Angela's birthday and we had just taken her bowling, I was driving everyone in my Volvo – one of the few advantages of having a pitifully small number of friends – and we were driving back from Port Angeles.

"But did you _see_ that guy's face when you both pretended to be gay together?" Angela yelled through fits of laughter.

"Serves him right for being such a snoopy, closed minded, fat old perv!" I shouted back through my own guffaws. This had been one of the best days of my life... especially since leaving the group home I was in before Carlisle and Esme adopted me.

Me and Seth made kissy faces at each other and once again the car erupted. It was amazing how loud four people could be. I loved my friends deeply and couldn't really imagine life without them – it would be boring as hell – and I know Esme and Carlisle were eternally grateful I chose quality over quantity.

Then there was a loud thunk and the car started to swerve out of control. I slammed on the brakes and tried to keep the car from rocketing off the edge of the road and into a nearby tree.

"Shit," I breathed after a minute of tense silence and stillness – and after I had caught my breath.

First thing's first, "is everyone alright?" I asked, frantically turning around and scanning the car for injuries. Thankfully, they all nodded their heads, only looking a little shaken. _Thank god!_

I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest. The wave of relief that washed over me was such a stark contrast between the worry and panic that gripped me a moment ago, the abrupt change was dizzying and I felt myself start to chuckle.

"What happened?" Angela asked after a moment.

"I don't know," I replied as I got out to investigate, "Aha! I see the problem here, we have a flat tyre, must have driven over a sharp pebble or something, the tyres were getting pretty bald anyway, " I announced as I inspected the front wheel.

I walked to the boot to get the spare tyre out, but halted as I noticed the back wheel was flat as well. I ran my hand through my hair in confusion. _What the hell?_

I looked around, possibly hoping for anything that would magically hint to an answer. As I turned, something _very_ solid smashed into my face. I fell back against the car with the force of the blow and my head struck the rear-windshield, _hard._ Pain bloomed quickly under my skin, but I ignored it as I turned to face the attacker. I could see he was going for another right-hook, but this time I was prepared and the punch could be seen coming a mile off. I blocked it and landed a sucker-punch on his stomach. He doubled over but then two more stepped up to replace him. _Oh bloody hell!_

I heard Seth try and get out of the car to help but was met with another two, they were attacking him as well, he should have just stayed in the car and phoned the police.

They all wore masks and nondescript clothing, so there was no chance in hell of identifying any of them later on. I vaguely registered that Ben was clambering hastily over the front seat while Ang was trying to keep him in the car with panicked expression, I didn't blame her, she was trying to get Seth back in the car too, maybe if we could all get in, we could wait the attack out, or at least struggle to get to town while riding on the rims.

I struggled with the two... _bandits_ that were focusing on me as I tried to inch myself over to the driver's side, but the one that I had winded earlier was recovering his breath and composure. I had managed to get in a few good shots, but so had they, I was sure I would _not_ be a pretty sight tomorrow. I could feel blood trickling down my face from various cuts and scratches, but I was marginally pleased that the attackers didn't seem to be in much better shape. I was suddenly, overwhelmingly glad that I had been forced into those self-defence lessons – that I now helped teach – once Esme and Carlisle realised I was being bullied. I had been so proud when I stood up to the bullies for the first time.

But the feeling of gratefulness soon dissolved in a flash as two of them caught my arms. The one that was just finished recovering from being winded stood up and got a gleam in his eye that I was sure meant nothing good. I was right about that as he came up and kneed me right in the balls... _Hard_. The adrenaline in my system that helped me ignore the pain from the other hits, could do _nothing_ to alleviate this pain.

_Jesus mother-fucking Christ! _

I immediately crumpled in pain, _holy shit that hurt!_ As I collapsed, they took advantage of my bowed head and hit me on the back of my head with enough force to knock me out cold...

And cold was what I felt when I came round. I woke up groggily, wondering why I had a hangover, I hadn't been drinking last night had I? It was highly unlikely. My head was pounding and everything ached, basically, I felt like shit. Then I remembered being attacked. Ok, these obviously aren't just ordinary, road-side criminals, what the hell did they want? _Crap!_ What about everyone else? Seth, Ben, Ang... did they take my friends too? I looked around the dark, musty room, and saw that I was alone, but that didn't mean anything, they could've easily separated us.

I was on a hard, tiled floor and the walls were bare plaster, with a few scraps of some shabby, faded yellow wallpaper clinging on pathetically, as though it was determined to make sure that the room had at least _some_ decoration in it. I shifted uncomfortably, I was in no better condition than the room. I was bloodied and bruised. I felt the crusty blood trails and spatters on my grimy skin. The blood cracked and and moved whenever I did, and it itched like hell. I could feel the stiff ache in my muscles from the exertion of the fight, and my awkward position on the floor, the dull throbbing of my bruises – some more painful than others – and the sting of my scratches, amplified by the grime and the salty sweat that gotten into them. I longed for a shower to ease my cramped muscles and wash off the thick layer of filth that coated my skin and some clean clothes as these had become uncomfortably and my jeans were beginning to chafe.

I felt the first thrill of fear course through me then, my unease began eating away at me as I waited and wondered. I tried to move to relieve the cramps in my arms but my wrists met resistance I looked up and even more anxious at the sight of my wrists chained up above my head. I struggled, with dead arms from being held up so high, to turn so that I was facing the wall with my hands in front of me as I stood up. I checked my pockets too – with difficulty – but found nothing, I wasn't surprised, really, but not even my half packet of gum was left. I was left alone, cold and with nothing but my clothes. Then I looked at my wrist frantically searching...

I sighed in relief as I saw Bella's friendship bracelet still around my wrist. It was the only piece of jewellery I owned; and I _never_ took it off, not once since the moment she had put it on me. We made them when we found out I was going to be adopted, so that if we ever saw each other again we would know who it was. I briefly let my mind wonder back to the two years I had spent with Bella at the group home. We were best friends and I think I loved her even then, in the childish way a seven-year-old loves another, and I think I still did love her. I had often caught myself imagining, whenever I was bored and sometimes not even then, thoughts of Bella invading my mind when I least expected it, where she was, what she looked like, what her family was like... whether she was happy... if she still thought of me at all.

I wished I had kept in touch, or at least gone looking for her... but I had been afraid she had taken off the bracelet after I had basically abandoned her. I was scared she wouldn't recognise me after all these years. I rested my head back against the wall trying – once again – what she would look like now, I hoped she kept her hair that rich dark auburn colour, and that she kept it long, I loved the feel of her hair when I was little. My own hair had grown even more unruly and darkened to a rusty colour rather than blonde. I wondered if she still had the same creamy skin, her pale complexion was beautiful. I wondered if she was still small, she had always been the tiniest in the home. I sighed, I was sure I would recognise her if – by some miracle – I ever saw her again.

There was a little bit of chain from the wall to my hands, giving me a little room to walk around, it probably wasn't intentional and I wouldn't have been able to get very far but it let my wrists hang in my lap if I sat up, saving me from pins and needles.

I stayed in the silent room for hours, and eventually I started to grow hungry. It was all I could do to ignore my growling stomach as I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep in the hopes that I would wake up and this would all just be a nightmare – I know, I know, wishful thinking – I didn't notice when drifted off, but I sure as hell noticed when I woke up. I was dragged roughly from one gloomy room to another, I tripped a few times while I tried to stand up and move forward simultaneously, but the hand at the scruff of my neck simply yanked me up impatiently each time, before forcefully shoving me onto a chair where him and his accomplices wasted no time in tying me up. I was bound tight to the hard, wooden chair that was no more comfortable that the floor I had just been laying on, with coarse rope that scratched and rubbed at my skin when they pulled it tight.

I tried to demand to know what I was doing there and where Ang Ben and Seth were, but as soon as I started talking – whilst struggling against being tied up – a disgusting piece of old material that tasted strongly of stale sweat, was crammed into my mouth and tied around the back of my head. I couldn't see very much in the dim light but I thought I could make out seven people in the room. My eyes didn't need time to adjust to the dark as my eyes had been closed for the last god knows how long – even though it felt like mere minutes.

The kidnappers backed away once they had finished and stood around me then I noticed a tiny red, LED light flicker into existence behind them. I felt suddenly incredibly vulnerable, tied securely to a chair, arms pinned to my sides, legs held immobile, gagged... they could do absolutely fucking _anything_ they wanted and I would be utterly helpless.

But as they switched on the light – directly above and just a little in front of my head – pain stabbed into my retinas and I reflexively winced and snapped my eyes shut, it took a few flickering seconds before I could open my eyes relatively comfortably, but even then I couldn't see past the glaring circle of light surrounding me. The seven hulking shadows converged menacingly and I felt again my vulnerability and my fear spike almost painfully.

One of them approached, one of the less burly ones, in fact, half of them couldn't even be described as burly, although they did have aura around them that instinctually warned people not to mess with them. They stepped into the light and stalked over to the side of my chair. She was tall and had flame-red hair pulled back tightly from her face, and she had on a black mask that covered only the top half of her face, it had on it intricate swirling designs that made it look Venetian.

I could feel the ropes rubbing my skin raw as I tried to lean away from her, I wasn't truly afraid – yet – but I was far from fucking comfortable. She stuck her hand in my hair and jerked my head back, exposing my neck. But instead, she just looked at me, closely inspecting my face, I watched her eyes dart all over me, taking in every detail before finally meeting my eyes. She seemed somehow satisfied with what she saw as she gave an imperceptible nod and let go of my hair, roughly shoving my head away before she withdrew.

They all withdrew to the corner and started whispering among themselves, I couldn't make out a word of what they were saying so I couldn't tell if they were arguing or what. As my heartbeat started to decelerate, I noticed my dry mouth, my sandpaper throat and the black-hole that used to be my stomach. The last time I had eaten was at the bowling alley... was it yesterday or near two days ago now? And that was the last time I had had a drink as well, I was so thirsty.

I watched my captors warily, the question _what are they going to do next?_ Was never far from my mind as they continued their debate. I still couldn't see very clearly beyond the blinding cage of light, but I could still see just enough to be able to tell if any of them were approaching or not.

After some time they broke apart and most of them stayed in the corner just watching me. One of them came forward and at first, I thought it was the same woman as before, but as she stepped into the light, I saw she had blonde hair. She walked around the back of my chair, seemingly assessing me, just as the first woman had. When she had finished circling me, she leaned down and her face came uncomfortably close to mine. I leaned as far away as I could in the confines of the chair. I saw a small, satisfied grin flicker across her face before she leaned in and licked my cheek. I couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows in disgust and confusion, but she didn't seem to notice. A hand reached up and unceremoniously pulled the gag from my mouth, but her finger lingered by my mouth a little too long.

She brought her head back and stared at me, "what do you want? Where are my friends? Where am I?" the questions that had been hovering over my head like a dark storm-cloud tumbled from my lips until she shut me up with a slap.

"Quiet!" she barked as her hand hit my face.

She waited a moment to be sure I would be quiet before moving her head forward again, until I could feel her lips brush my ear, "now will you behave?"

After a moments hesitation I nodded, what kind of question is that to ask the person you had just kidnapped anyway? But I couldn't see any alternatives, I was out of options. Maybe if I cooperated I would get some food, and maybe some answers... maybe it would just result in less injuries, either way, it was my best bet.

"Good boy," she said running her fingers through the now matted hair behind my ear and petting me like a dog, with a lot of effort I managed to clamp my mouth shut.

She backed until she stood in front of me, she shoved a piece of paper in my face, "read this," she hissed venomously at me as she let go and the crumpled paper fell to my lap.

I stared at the large words scrawled on the sheet, as the blonde moved away. I didn't do much else until the blonde was speaking again, "Come on, be a good boy and read to the camera."

I glanced up to see that she was stood just on the edge of the light, a camcorder in her hands, trained directly on me. I noticed the red LED light was on, showing that it was already recording. My eyes darted to the others who were grouped behind her, it was an intimidating sight even for Seth – who had no concept of fear – let alone someone already weary and tied tight to a really uncomfortable chair.

"Sorry, I can't read this spidery scrawl you call handwriting," I spoke without thinking, maybe I was a masochist; maybe I wanted to show my defiance instead of giving in to them; maybe, subconsciously I didn't want to look like a push over in front of the camera and whoever was going to see the tape, now was _definitely _not the time to develop a vain streak.

The ginger one hissed and strode forward, she was towering over me in an instant, another slap to the face, then she yanked my head back by the hair and leaned so far over me she was almost directly above my head, "read it you little shit, just fucking read it!" her knee pressed on my still tender crotch. I hissed and winced as she chuckled and backed away, pausing only to pick up the paper and slam it down on my lap. I jerked in my seat again and drew in a shuddering breath, I'm sure my face contorted into an ugly grimace of pain. _Twice in one minute!_

I looked down at my lap again reluctantly, "If you ever want to see me again, you must do as instructed, don't involve the authorities, if you don't follow the instructions, they're gonna..." I swallowed painfully, my dry throat constricting around the words, disabling my voice box.

I vaguely heard angry hisses of "read it!" but they seemed distant, far away, as my world was reduced to the next words on the page. There was a loud _thwack_ and a small sting on the inside of my thigh, a small – ish – blade had landed less than an inch from my balls, _are these people obsessed with my manhood or something? _

I swallowed, "they're gonna shoot me then come after you," it was a strange thing, saying the very real possibility of your own – probably painful and too soon – death, it only made it worse that I was predicting my adoptive parents' death too.

I had been lucky when they decided they wanted me, they were good people who were very kind, compassionate, and loving. They loved me like a real son,and it wasn't long before I loved them as real parents too. They were wonderful and didn't deserve to die in the least, I was offended that someone could even think about killing them. I hoped they followed the instructions, purely for their sake.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – **well well well, what do you know? 6 reviews! guess I will be carrying on this story after all! Thanks to all six people who reviewed and helped me get to my target and beyond!

and I just have to say this: naa naa na naa naaaaaaaaaaa! I went to see eclipse on Sunday! :P

oh yeah, and don't forget to review at the end, this story almost didn't happen because of lack of support... just curious, but how many reviews have you posted? (And how long have you been a member of fanfic cause fifteen reviews in two months is a lot more impressive than twenty reviews in two years) I just want to know if its my stories people don't like enough to review or if I just have a generally silent audience... so yeah, the show must go on!

**Chapter 3 – huh?**

**unknown pov (ok, not really but just go with me on this please?)**

In the beginning there was darkness – just blackness and nothingness – nothing before had existed. I was just floating... not even that, I was _existing. _I just knew I had – somehow – existed in the split second before this, I wasn't even sure who _I_ was, or _what_ I was. The concept of self hadn't been necessary before, the concept of _anything_ hadn't been necessary before. I briefly wondered where the concept of language had come from to express my thoughts. Then everything came into existence and... I _knew_ things. There was the sensation of discomfort. There was an orange glow penetrating my eyelids and I guessed there was a bright light somewhere beyond the thin shield of skin.

I opened my eyes and gasped as I found out that was right and there was indeed a very _bright_ light stabbing at my retinas. I closed my eyes again, opening them more carefully the next time. My eyes roamed around the room taking in all the details, there was a lot of white and grey metal, and lots of machines whirring and beeping. Instead of being nervous at the machines, I recognised their importance, I didn't fully understand them or their function, but apparently by brain convinced me they were normal and necessary.

I looked around the room and decided the best word to describe it would be _sterile_. I was alone in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of nervousness. It was like I had just woken up from a sleep where nothing had existed before, I had been sleeping my whole life, until this point. I knew nothing.

The doctor walked in after a few minutes of my pondering how I got there, but I got nothing. It was _beyond _frustrating, because obviously _something_ had to have happened to cause me to be here. And in such groggy discomfort.

"Hello, I'm Dr Cullen and I'll be looking after you for as long as you're here," he told me warmly.

His friendly manner put me at ease slightly, "Hi," I said, oh so eloquently.

"I'm afraid you took quite a bump to the head, causing unconsciousness, so I'm going to have to ask you; can you tell me your name please?"

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I frowned, that wasn't right, your name is something you've known pretty much from birth, it's an automatic response, it should just roll off the tongue... but still, _nothing!_ I started to panic, I didn't know my name, I didn't know anything about myself, _who was I?_

I looked at the doctor in a silent plea, clear desperation evident on my face. I felt my breathing accelerate as I descended into panic, why couldn't I remember? Why did I feel like there was something vitally important that I had to do? Why did I feel a bizarre pull towards the man in front of me? Sure, he was handsome, but it wasn't like that. I heard an annoying beeping sound speed up next to me, probably my heart monitor.

"Hey, calm down, it's OK. I have your name here, it's Jezebel Sparrow... does that ring any bells?"

As a matter of fact, it did, "Bells..." I muttered, "Bells, I think I remember being called Bells," I said praying that I was indeed remembering something, it sounded right, it seemed to fit more than _Jezebel_ anyway.

"It's not surprising you chose a nickname, alright then Bells, I'm Carlisle," he grinned.

I grinned back, I liked him... until he started spouting off random facts about me that he managed to glean from my wallet. It was just cold hard facts, nothing warm and more personal... it was hard to reconcile the statistics Carlisle was reading off were about me. It was a strange, unpleasant feeling. I started to panic again. I was partially embarrassed that I was being so pathetic, but another part of me, a part that was getting louder and clearer by the minute, told me to keep going, that it was crucial that I get Carlisle to open up to me any way I can. It was illogical and made me slightly more nervous, but I found out right then, that I was the kind of person who goes with their gut feeling.

Carlisle made a point to call me Bells whenever he spoke to me, I guess it was part trying to get me to feel comfortable, and part trying to jog my memory. It was probably part consolation as well, apart from my name and age – and anything else you could deduce from a driving licence – everyone knew nothing about me, no-one who knew me came to visit. I was starting to feel lonely and depressed, why had no-one come? Did no-one know I was here? Was I such a bitch that no-one wanted to claim me? Such a huge bitch that they were happier leaving me lost and alone in a small town in the middle on nowhere, without _anything_ from my past?

Except the friendship bracelet.

As soon as it had been established that I was called Bells, my hand had gone to my wrist, seeking comfort. When my fingers encountered nothing but bare skin, I had gone into a panic attack. I'm sure to Carlisle I must have looked pretty crazy, going from calm and smiling to shrieking "where is it?" at the top of my lungs and working myself up into a frenzy. He tried to calm me and ask me what I was looking for, but I burst out crying – again – saying that I couldn't remember. I told him it was probably a bracelet or something because I panicked when my wrist was bare.

He sighed and looked relieved for a second before calling one of the nurses to bring the bracelet they found on my wrist. It was a plait made out of green, red and black thread, with a bead at either end. As soon as I saw it, recognition sparked in me – if only for a brief moment – I knew it was exactly what had been missing. I asked Carlisle to put it on my wrist immediately. He said his son Edward had a friendship bracelet just like mine.

Carlisle told me about his son and his wife. At first he worried it would upset me and he felt as if he was rubbing the fact that he had family in my face. If it had been anyone else, I'm sure I would have agreed, but I assured Carlisle that I just loved hearing about Edward and Esme.

Eventually I was well enough to be discharged, and since I didn't know my insurance details – therefore having no way to pay for my hospital bills – I had to find a different place to stay and rest up, like that was going to happen when I didn't have much money. This led to Carlisle offering to let me stay in his home.

I started to tear up with gratitude when he made the offer, "Thank you so much! I don't know what I would do without you, Carlisle. I promise I'll repay you in some way or another once I get back on my feet."

"Don't worry about it dear, I know Esme is dying to meet you! And I know you and Edward will get along, he's only a year younger than you but the similarities between you are staggering! You're both quiet, you both like reading a lot more than the average teenager and you both have the same sense of humour."

I smiled at him, pleased that I had at least some things in common with the person I was going to live with for the next god knows how long, and the person Carlisle couldn't stop praising. It was obvious that Carlisle loved his son very much and was extremely proud of him. It made me anxious to meet him too, I couldn't keep myself from imagining him. I pictured blue eyes and blonde hair like Carlisle, although Edward's hair was apparently messy enough to annoy Esme... and in turn annoy Edward with his mothers never ceasing attempts to control it.

Carlisle took me back to his home in his posh, black Mercedes when he got off his shift. I was in a town called Forks... yep, that's right, same as the kitchen utensil. Forks was small and very green, it was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else... obviously I wasn't from here.

As we pulled up in front of the house after driving down the country road Carlisle and Esme call their drive, I saw the front door opening and a beautiful woman come out to greet us. She walked swiftly up to me and enveloped me in a warm, motherly hug. I saw Carlisle out of the corner of my eye, grinning at us like a Cheshire cat. I was just surprised that Esme had taken such an instant liking to me. I only hoped that Edward could be as welcoming...

"Hello finally, Bells. Carlisle told me you prefer to be called that, is it ok?" I nodded mutely as Esme continued to talk like there just weren't enough seconds in the day, "Good, I'm not surprised you had a nickname, Jezebel is such a mouthful! Anyway, I have your room set up, it only has a bed and a wardrobe and a desk in it at the moment, I didn't have much time, and we can go out and pick some colours and some clothes for you and the room later, well, probably tomorrow, you must be feeling a little tired today, moving into a strange home after being discharged from the hospital, no less! Anyway, I hope you like it here, your lucky we had a spare room doing nothing! Oh look at you, you poor thing! You look so overwhelmed! I see what Carlisle meant, you reacted exactly as Edward did when we brought him home, I'll let you get settled in a little then you can come find me if you need anything, I'll come get you for dinner in about twenty minutes."

Okaaaayyy... Wait, they brought Edward home? But... he's their son isn't he?

I walked into "my room" in a cloud of confusion, only nodding blankly when Esme told me once again that, should I need anything, I was to come find her immediately. She reminded me of something... someone, I had never met her before, but perhaps someone like her? I struggled to grasp the elusive memory before I had to admit defeat. The walls were a neutral cream colour, and the carpet a light gold. It wasn't fancy, but neither was it truly simple. I liked it instantly.

Now that Esme mentioned it, I suddenly noticed I was exhausted. I collapsed on the bed, laying my head on the pillow but being careful to let my feet dangle off the side still, I didn't want my muddy shoes to get the bed filthy. I looked at the ceiling, noticing the completely smooth texture and the cleanliness of it. I was reluctant to close my eyes as dinner was almost ready and I was starving, I didn't want to miss it or be rude to Carlisle and Esme especially when they had taken me in. I wanted to show them how grateful I was, and the perfect way to not go about doing that is sleeping through dinner.

Fifteen minutes later, Esme was knocking softly on my door, telling me that dinner was ready. Apparently we were having a simple roast chicken dinner. Esme thought it was the safest bet since there was bound to be at least _something_ I liked on my plate. To my great relief I liked most of it... except the cauliflower, I definitely discovered a distinct distaste for cauliflower. On the plus side, everything else was delicious, and I made sure to tell Esme that.

"Oh, Bells, it was nothing. I'm glad you liked it though, perhaps Edward and Carlisle could take a few lessons on how to appreciate my cooking from you," she giggled, playfully glaring at her husband.

Carlisle grinned sheepishly, he took her hand and nuzzled her neck lovingly, "Come on love, you know how much I appreciate you... how much Edward appreciates you, we just choose to show you in different ways, I doubt Edward would have composed that lovely song if he didn't appreciate you."

It was obvious the affection and love between the two of them, they had the perfect life. I wondered how my life compared to theirs, did I have someone to love? To love me? Someone who would probably be worried sick by now that I hadn't come home or called? It was possible... if not probable.

"You'll meet him tomorrow Bells," Esme suddenly turned her attention back to me, "He's at a friends house tonight and then going to Port Angeles tomorrow to celebrate Angela's birthday, he should be home in time for dinner, unless of course, Seth drags him back for another sleepover. It's very cute really, seeing Seth almost hero-worship Edward. Even though it was Seth who helped Edward fend off a group of girls at school, Seth just idolises him, it's probably got something to do with Seth being a year younger than Edward, but Edward makes an exceptionally good role model, even if I do say so myself."

It was strange seeing Esme just talk and talk and talk, it was a little overwhelming right now, but I was tired and I was sure I would grow to find that quality as endearing in her, presumably, as Carlisle and Edward had. I knew I needed to get to bed, and was searching for a polite excuse to extricate myself from Esme's conversation when Carlisle noticed my eyes drooping.

"Esme, dear, why don't we let poor Bells rest for the night, and you can continue this conversation in the morning... before I end up carrying the poor girl to bed," Carlisle suggested fondly to his wife.

I smiled gratefully at him as Esme realised that I was truly worn out, and ushered me upstairs. It took a lot of effort not to simply collapse on the bed immediately after walking through the door, instead I quickly brushed my teeth then lethargically changed into some pyjamas _and then_ collapsed onto the bed and drifted off to sleep.

I opened my eyes a second later, well rested and staring at the same ceiling I had spent fifteen minutes studying yesterday. Wow. I lifted my arm once again to inspect to harsh scar there, it wasn't hugely ugly and deforming, just a puckered, purple line running down my forearm. I wondered what I could have got it from. I traced the line down my arm and onto the back of my hand, stopping when it disappeared between my middle and ring finger.

The sunlight was streaming brilliantly through the huge window in the wall next to me, I groaned as I realised this must have been what had woken me up. I rolled out of bed grumbling and cursing my inability to close the curtains last night. I sighed, I had found out in the hospital that once I'm awake, there's no hope whatsoever of getting back to sleep again. It was good that I was discovering things about myself, sometimes these things brought back dim memories. For instance, when I discovered that I hate shopping, I had a brief flash of whining on the phone, telling someone how I was definitely _not_ going shopping. The only problem was, I had no idea who I'd been complaining to, I didn't even have the recollection of the sound of their voice. Damn.

I lazily made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I hoped Esme was there, I didn't know where anything was and I felt intrusive just going through all the cupboards. However, my concern had been in vain, Esme was there, in all her glory, surrounded by the scent and the sound of sizzling bacon and sausages. My stomach growled embarrassingly loudly and I blushed while Esme chuckled quietly. But, as if on reflex, I controlled it. My response had been immediate and automatic, yet with a sense of urgency, as if it was vital that I remain impassive, as if my poker face was the most important thing, as if I couldn't let myself give anything away...

We went shopping. We got me some clothes, we got me some new covers for the bed and some curtains, we even got paint for my room. Apart from that, the day was good. Esme, although insanely chatty, was very warm and made me feel extremely welcome. She was... efficient, I guess she sensed that I was less than enthusiastic about shopping and made the whole morning go as smooth as possible. Another thing I discovered about myself was, I didn't like people buying things for me... but I couldn't exactly pay for the things myself now could I?

We ate lunch in a quaint little restaurant after we had finished shopping. To be honest, it was good not to be constantly bundled into changing rooms and forced to look in the mirror in outfit after outfit, or being forced to decide which colour I liked best for my bedroom. It was _just a tad_ overwhelming, I couldn't even remember my favourite colour! But eventually I chose a colour, just like I chose some of the outfits Esme forced me into... just like I chose what to eat at the restaurant.

We got home at half past one and for the first time I could actually take notice of my surroundings. Well, the details, I could look closely at the pictures on the walls and on the mantle piece. The middle frame on the mantle piece held four photos, taken in sequence. The first held a strong, broad back and a shock of messy bronze hair in the strangest of shades. He was sat at a piano and his head was slightly bowed with concentration. The camera viewpoint seemed quite close as Edward took up most of the frame. The second was Edward's profile, I gasped as I saw deliciously full lips, a strong jaw, high, defined cheekbones, a straight nose and gloriously vivid, emerald eyes looking at the piano keys through a thick layer of inky lashes. The third photo was the same again only Edward had turned slightly to the camera with a look of surprise on his face. The last was Edward looking directly at the camera with a crooked smile playing at his lips and a sparkle in his eye. I gasped again, he was breathtaking. All of a sudden, I was even _more_ anxious to meet him.

Esme came up behind me, she was quiet but I noticed her footsteps. I tensed and spun round to face her, only to relax again as soon as I saw her. Again, it was another reflex reaction, completely overriding my brain. She looked a little concerned that she had startled me, but I just shrugged it off and turned back to the photos I had been studying. Esme confirmed that I was indeed looking at Edward, who should be home later or tomorrow if he spends another night at Seth's.

We set about organizing my new wardrobe and busy hands meant it was soon time to prepare dinner. We were going to try spaghetti bolognese tonight; apparently it's a very popular dish, so the odds were – again – that I would like it. Soon the food was nearly done and we still hadn't heard from Edward even though Carlisle had been back for ten minutes already. So, Esme tried calling him.

"Oh dear, his phone's turned off, it just goes straight to voicemail when I try to call him. I wish he could have called, he could have borrowed Seth or Angela's phone," she sighed, obviously a little disappointed, I myself thought it was a little rude just to disappear off to a friend's without a word... no matter how attractive he was.

Once again, it was just the three of us sat at the table eating dinner. Esme supplied most of the conversation, like she had last night, and the more time I spent with her, the more she reminded me of... someone. Even with Edward, I had the faintest sense of recognition. Even this house... I knew this was where I was meant to be right now, I just felt like I was waiting for something, probably for Edward to come home now that I've actually seen how... _gorgeous_ he is.

I remembered to close the curtains last night, and as a result, I didn't get rudely awakened by the sun. Instead, it was a harsh, desperate knocking on the door that pulled me from my peaceful oblivion. I groaned at being woken up again, but rolled out of my bed, got dressed and made my way downstairs just as Esme got the door.

"Oh my god!" Esme gasped in horror, "Seth, Ben, Angela... what happened to you? Where's Edward? Is he at the hospital? Oh no! It's something serious, isn't it? My poor baby! I have to go see him right away! Is he conscious? Oh no!" she collapsed sobbing at the end of her rant.

I felt a twinge of unease permeate my stomach and through my body. I had a _bad_ feeling about this. I bit my lip as I hovered on the stairs, torn between going down and staying put, but desperately wanting to hear what was going on.

Huge, dark, russet arms caught Esme as her knees gave out and pulled her towards the body owning the pair of arms, "Well... we kinda... don't know where Edward is," said a deep rich voice, like coffee.

"What do you mean you don't know where Edward is? He was the one driving the car, as far I knew!" Esme screeched, all ladylike qualities and demeanour vanishing before my very eyes.

"Well," said a shaky female voice, "we were... attacked. We were driving along and they must have set road spikes out or something because the car started to swerve out of Edward's control but he managed to stop the car before anything too drastic happened, then he got out to investigate cause we all thought he had just blown a tyre you know? But then these... _people_ came out of nowhere and just started attacking him! Then Seth got out to try and help, but there were more! We tried to get them to get back in the car, Seth made it, but Edward was by the boot and they knocked him out before he could... Then the door was being shut and there was all this gas, sleeping gas."

I was horrified, was this just random? Are these kind of attacks common around here? ...is that what happened to _me_? The female voice was obviously traumatised and was in danger of breaking down like Esme had. I took another step down the stairs and immediately cursed my luck at landing on the squeaky one. I'm guessing that the visitors just assumed I was Carlisle because they kept talking.

"And that's not all," said another unfamiliar, male voice, "when we woke up this morning, these were left on the seat."

From what I could make out from my vantage point, it was a fairly thick stack of polaroids. Esme took them and started flipping through them, getting more frantic by the second as I crept closer. She didn't even get halfway through them before she collapsed into hysterical sobs again. The russet giant caught Esme again, but this time, he gently led her into the living room and sat them both down on the large settee while the other two visitors came in and sat down with them. None of them had noticed me yet.

The russet giant had obviously been in a fight, he had a black eye, a bruise on his jaw and some more bruises developing on his arms – nothing seemed too serious. The girl was shaking and in tears, they were all visibly shaken. I moved closer and sat on the settee opposite them. The creaking of the leather alerted them to my presence, and all their eyes snapped to meet mine... except for Esme, who was still sobbing uncontrollably into the russet giant's shoulder. All their eyes were filled with suspicion, fear and anger; I didn't let them intimidate me though. I could feel my body tensing, readying for a fight.

"Who are you?" the russet giant demanded.

"Oh no, don't worry about Bells! She came home two days ago with amnesia! It's been about a week since the accident, me and Edward were looking forward to meeting her! Oh I'm sorry, Bells. Oh! I must phone Carlisle! ...And tell him... tell him that... that Edward was... was... _kidnapped!_" Esme's shaky composure dissolved once again into wild, worried sobs.

"I'll call Carlisle, Esme, don't you worry about that," said the other male.

He got up and went to the kitchen phone to call Carlisle, Esme didn't need to hear the story of her son's kidnapping again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – revelations and discoveries... and DVD's **

**Bella's pov**

The day we learnt about Edward's kidnapping progressed from bad to worse, Edward's friends didn't completely let go of their suspicion of me, even though it was thoroughly impossible for me to be involved in the kidnapping, and I didn't blame them. They had just gone through a traumatic event, they had the right to be suspicious... and the photos didn't help either.

All the photos in the pile that was found in the car were all of Carlisle, Esme or Edward. There were a few with all of them in the house; eating dinner, watching TV, even them cooking as a family. There was Carlisle at work, Esme doing the laundry, but mostly, they were of Edward. They were of Edward at school, in class through the window, in the car park with the three of his friends who were currently here and surrounded by girls as he looked to them for help while they laughed at him. There were some of Edward at work in some music shop, of Edward teaching children self defence... or something similar, there were some of him with his friends on the beach, there were more of him playing piano...

And then the most disturbing ones of all; there were some of him asleep. The most disturbing part of that being... they were taken from about a couple of feet above his head. The person that had taken these had been able to break into the house without anyone knowing and had stood right next to him! I felt sick with fear at what could have happened; they could've killed him there and then!

Then there were the truly heartbreaking ones. They were of Edward unconscious on the road. There were cuts and scratches all over his face, no bruises yet though, they would come tomorrow... or today, since these photos were taken yesterday. In some he had been tied up, even gagged, although he was unconscious and not likely to make any noise. There were some where the kidnappers were manhandling him... then the worst one of them all. She was holding Edward's head up by his hair, and she had placed her head over his shoulder and leaned her face into his, smiling as if they were friends... while she held a knife to his throat.

There were threatening messages written under all the photos, warnings not to go to the police and threats of what could and what – apparently – will happen. Who? How? ..._Why?_ What did they want? Did they want a ransom or something? That's what kidnappers usually want, right?

Carlisle came home and was told what had happened and shown the photos, his reaction was much the same as Esme's. If you have never heard the desolate, heartbroken cries of a full-grown man, count yourself lucky. If you have never heard the desperate weeps of parents as they cry for their missing son, count yourself lucky. If you have never seen the grief of the family, the sadness in their eyes as they mourn the absence of one of their own – even if he's not dead yet, there's still a seemingly strong possibility that he could be soon – then you can count yourself bloody lucky.

It was obvious Edward was well-loved. I even felt guilty for thinking he was rude last night, it almost felt blasphemous to think such a thing after such a dreadful thing happened to him... after he'd been kidnapped. I wondered if any of his other friends would need to be told, but decided to hold my tongue until everyone else calmed down a bit. It wouldn't be my place to tell anyone of this and it would be callous of me to mention it to them now.

I didn't cry. I wanted to, I so desperately wanted to shed the tears in my eyes, but I didn't know him. I had never met him before, nor had I met his three best friends before. Their grief wasn't mine to share, I had no right to cry over this, as horrifying as it was. But I knew my grief wasn't even close to matching theirs, I didn't even know the guy!

I made myself useful by making cups of tea and fetching tissues. I brought biscuits and made soup for lunch. I felt a little overwhelmed as I read the instructions on the cans, but I found I could keep a clear head and cope reasonably well. Everyone ate in the living room as it was cosier and more comfortable, no-one felt like moving and there seemed to be a sense of safety in closely packed numbers – something that was essential after the huge shake-up we had just experienced.

Thankfully, by dinner time Esme and the others had recovered a bit and managed to semi-come-to terms with what happened. They were all back to functioning normally, even if it was heavily underlined with worry and anxiety. I helped in the kitchen – they still weren't up to much – and dinner was eaten in a gloomy silence. What was there to talk about? The gloom pervaded through the house, it seeped through all the cracks and absorbed itself into the very structure of the house, like thick miasmas, saturating the atmosphere and everything in it, the curling tongues licking away at everything within their reach. Suffice to say, the mood wasn't all that great when the sun came to set.

The morning outlook wasn't much of an improvement from the mood last night, however, there seemed to be a new air of... productivity about the house. Everyone was a mixture of grave, serious and determined as we sat down to eat our breakfast. Carlisle was the one to open the discussion about what to do next. By the end of breakfast a lot of wild ideas had been thrown around, but no-one was any closer to deciding on the best course of action.

Hopelessness and despair hung heavy in the air as I got up to wash my bowl in the sink, everyone had been hoping to get something out of this discussion and were extremely disappointed when their search came up lacking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that the post had been delivered, so, to help clear my head without giving the slightest hint that I couldn't handle this and was abandoning them – something which would have been really detrimental to their mental and emotional stability at this point in time – I went to get the mail.

They had one letter and a package, the package wasn't thick, maybe a small book? I shrugged and brought it in. There was no return address on the package, I frowned, there should be shouldn't there? Oh, this was handwritten, people don't usually put return addresses on the envelopes they're sending, only companies do that... I think.

The kitchen was stuffy and suddenly seemed much too small as I stepped into it. All five of them had their shoulders slumped and their heads down, like they had been defeated already, and they hadn't even tried yet, not really. They were all holding onto something – be it a mug or a plate or another person's hand – like they were tying to keep themselves grounded, trying to hole themselves together... but what was the point in that when they were so ready to give up? They were terrified of calling the police, they seemed content to just sit and wait, but what were they waiting for? There was no ransom note, were they just hoping that Edward would just magically be delivered to them in due course? _Nothing happens unless you cause it to happen._

Whoa. Where the hell did that come from? I was a little freaked out at the words entering my head so readily. I had no idea where I got them from. But they struck a chord in me, I found myself listening to them. I felt a new sense of determination wash over me that was so alien in contrast to everyone else's apathy, it was almost comical... almost. I didn't know why I was being so cynical and judgemental of the people I was staying with; the thoughts seemed to enter my head unbidden, like they knew the way into my head with easy familiarity... I looked down at the package I held in my hands, who the hell sends a package in an envelope made for a letter? You need an envelope designed for small packages... and who writes and address like _that_? First, you need a stamp. Second, you need to write the town and postcode.

"Carlisle?" I called softly in an attempt to capture his wondering attention, "I have a package for you."

He sighed, reluctantly coming back to reality and took the package out of my outstretched hand. I put the other envelope on the table and proceeded to watch as Carlisle tore open the envelope and took out a blank DVD case. If I wasn't suspicious before, I sure as hell was now. Who sends _just_ a blank DVD case? I mean, obviously it had a DVD inside it, but the DVD should have something on the case signifying what was inside, there could possibly be a note in there as well... I checked the envelope as everyone sluggishly made their way to the living room to watch the curious DVD and I was right, there was nothing.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. The only problem was I didn't know what they were saying. Damn, amnesia can be such a pain! I had nothing to work with here! The thought had a slight air of familiarity around it – like I had thought it a lot recently – but I decided that could wait until later, until I had dealt with my priorities. Then I suddenly realised I was thinking like it was my job to get Edward back...

I gasped, on the screen was a boy about the same age as me. He had hair an amazing shade of bronze and astoundingly green eyes that were so brilliant they seemed to jump out at you. He had the perfect athletic form; muscular, but not overtly so... his muscles had become more pronounced than the photo on the mantle piece and the other photos... well, you couldn't make out that amount of detail in them. This was Edward.

What finally brought tears of shock, grief and pity to my eyes, was that he was sitting on a hard backed chair, ropes bound his wrists and forearms to the back of the chair, his shins to the front legs on the chair and the top of his chest to the high back. His skin was covered in a thick layer of grime, his hair, although bronze, was matted and had lost its shine. There was dried blood all over him, crimson smears across his swollen lip and trailing down his face and neck from various gashes on his face – some more serious than others. His bruises had developed overnight; he had a huge black eye and other bruises blossoming on his stubble covered jaw and on his forehead. There were other bruises on his arms. He was gagged but sat strangely calmly for someone in his position, apart from squinting and blinking in the bright light above him.

Seeing it like this, on video... it just made it all the more real for me. Seeing something horrendous _actually happening_ brought it all home, made everything seem more within touching distance – not that I was reaching out... unless it was to help get Edward back. My heart literally broke for him.

Then a ginger woman in a mask walked up to him and yanked his head back by his hair, she seemed to be inspecting him and he seemed to measure up to her standards. The figure in black retreated leaving only Edward in a halo of light that seemed ironically fitting...

Then a blonde woman entered, she bent down in front of him and licked his cheek like some perverse bitch. I thought it was utterly gross and rather disgusting and it appeared Edward shared my view. She reached up and roughly tugged the gag out of his mouth and let it hang from his neck. As soon as the gag was off, he started to speak – asking about the very people who had managed to escape this and were currently sat on the comfy couch feeling sorry for themselves – but the blonde bitch slapped him and ordered him to be quiet.

I had never heard his voice before, although I had seen over my fair share of photos of him. I was immediately enraptured by his rich melodic tones, raised slightly in worry and anger... he needn't worry, his friends were safe, _he_ was the only one in danger. Well, the only one in immediate danger; it was quite obvious now that the kidnappers had the house watched and could theoretically pounce at any time.

She leaned in and whispered something to which Edward reluctantly nodded. The blonde bitch then started petting him like a dog, I saw him clamp his mouth shut in an effort to remain silent. Then she gave him a crumpled up piece of paper to read. The vantage point of the camera moved closer, so that his face completely filled the screen and it was even more obvious how his looks shone through the filth on his face.

"Come on, be a good boy and read to the camera," we heard the blonde say, causing Edward's head to snap up and look directly into the camera. His warm eyes seemed to glisten but I noticed there was none of the joyous sparkle present, like there was in the photo on the mantle piece. However, I still felt myself entranced, unable to break eye contact. Then his eyes darted left and right and I saw a flicker of fear pass through them, then determined defiance.

"Sorry, I can't read this spidery scrawl you call handwriting." I gave a small endearing smile, how ironic it was that it's the person who gets kidnapped that seems to be holding up better. The ginger one sprang forward and once again yanked his hair back, leaning over him as she picked her knee up and leaned on his balls. He winced and hissed in obvious pain. Ginger then picked up the paper and slammed it down on his lap, causing him to gasp and grimace horribly once again.

He looked down and reluctantly began to read, "If you ever want to see me again, you must do as instructed, don't involve the authorities, if you don't follow the instructions, they're gonna..." he stopped and swallowed nervously. I jumped as a knife landed between his legs, narrowly avoiding his important parts but managing to knick the inside of his leg. He took a deep breath and continued to read, "they're gonna shoot me then come after you."

The screen went blank and I hurried to wipe my wet cheeks. I somehow felt intrusive, I hadn't ever met him before, and here I was, watching him as he endured one of the lowest moments of his life so far. I could hear sniffling going on all around me as everyone tried to regain some semblance of composure after the DVD was over. But it wasn't over, was it? Nothing had changed; Edward was still kidnapped, the kidnappers were still watching the house and its inhabitants and we were still waiting on instructions. What did the kidnappers want? Why weren't there any instructions in that DVD? Why were they dragging this out?

Another thing I had just come to realize about myself; I was a suspicious, analytical thinker. After I had quickly recovered from the thorough wrenching and wringing of my heart, my brain immediately launched into a systematic analysis of what I already knew and what I had learned from the DVD and its delivery. First; the kidnappers wanted _something_ and they were using Edward to get it. Second; they wanted to drag this troubled time for Carlisle and Esme out – why? Did they want to make this as hard on the parents as they did on their son? Surely giving the Cullens less time to call the police would make more sense, even if they had instructed us not to. Thirdly; they were pretty close – the envelope didn't have the full address on it, meaning that if it _did_ go through the postal system, it would have gotten lost. The fact that it's here and we had just finished watching it told me that the package didn't, in fact, go through the post. Meaning it was hand delivered. Fourthly; we were dealing with more than one person, possibly a team... and they knew what they were doing.

It was impossible to tell anything about where they held Edward captive from the DVD, to glean any details that might help us find him – other than he wasn't outside. I decided the best option was to wait for the next DVD to come, there was almost definitely going to be another DVD very soon. In the mean time, I would keep an eye on the post box at the end of the drive. If the DVD didn't come through the conventional postal system, then someone had to hand deliver it, right?

I sat in the kitchen, where I could see the post box from the window. I waited all day but nothing happened - no-one noticed my strange behaviour as they were all still too deeply immersed in their own depression to see anything else around them. I even stayed in the kitchen drinking dangerous amounts of coffee to stay awake as long as I could - but that didn't really work as I found myself drifting off at two on the morning.

After the third time I started awake from hitting my head on the table, I decided that it would be suspicious if everyone came downstairs to find me asleep at the table. Maybe the next set of instructions would give us a clue as to what they want... And why they picked Carlisle. I sighed and lethargically washed up my mug before trudging upstairs to bed. I swear, as soon as my head hit my pillow, I was out.

I had been emotionally drained yesterday and it had left me feeling exhausted, along with everyone else under Carlisle and Esme's roof. I woke up late for me, but I found out as I made my way into the kitchen to make breakfast, that I was the first one up. I quickly busied myself with making food for everyone, and piled it on the kitchen table with plates, just as I had seen Esme do a couple of mornings before.

I was glad to say that my memory was coming back... sort of. Lots of actions and thoughts seemed familiar... once I'd done or thought them. For instance, as soon as I thought about making breakfast... I didn't need to think about it, it just came naturally, like I was back in my flat, cooking for Emmett and Rose... I froze. Emmett and Rose? Emmett and Rose... I concentrated, trying hold onto the memory, trying to follow it back into the recesses of my brain that I just couldn't seem to access on my own.

They were... my friends, and... a couple. I closed my eyes, trying to picture the scene. My flat was small, but brightly coloured. The kitchen was painted yellow with sky blue work-tops and beach cabinets. There wasn't room for an island or a table but Rose and Emmett were sitting on the work-tops on the other side of the kitchen while I fried the bacon. Emmett was the brawniest man on earth and Rose was the most beautiful... the perfect match. Rose was... blonde. And tall. And statuesque. And Emmett was... a man-child. And completely obsessed with food... and sex. I remembered being nauseous at the intimacy they seemed to think appropriate for the public to witness.

I growled in frustration as the elusive memory slipped through my fingers. I went over what I had managed to retrieve so far and tried to cement it into a part of my brain that I could actually reach. I sighed and finished setting out the breakfast, deciding there were more important things that I had to deal with than a bunch of stupid memories of my friends and my old life.

The next day went much the same as the day before... except there was no DVD, but I did open the door to three sets of concerned parents. These people were nowhere near as distraught as Carlisle and Esme or even their children; Seth, Ben and Angela, but they were horrified and deeply disturbed at the news. They wanted to know what Carlisle and Esme were going to do about it, whether they were going to go to the police, but Esme showed them the pictures and told them that they couldn't risk it.

And the day after that... nothing. And – you can guess what's coming up, need I say more? But it was getting repetitive... well, it couldn't really be repetitive if there was nothing to repeat. So Esme decided we should go shopping, but then decided against it since she wanted to be home in case there was another DVD delivered. So she decided to call Seth and Ben to see if they would go with me.

So there we were, in the isle of the local supermarket, looking at the plethora of different kinds of baked beans that were available to us... why? Why were there so many brands? Ben had gone to get... ketchup. He was down the end of the isle looking for the type of ketchup that he usually has at his house when he called out to us, "Have you got the baked beans yet? You two take forever!"

"What kind of beans should we get?" Seth called back.

"I don't know! Just make sure that it has at least a good brand on it!" he called back.

I froze... again. Was this another memory? "What did he just say?" I whispered to Seth.

"Er... Make sure it has at least a good brand on it?" he whispered back, made uncertain by my peculiar behaviour.

At least... brand on... Atleast Brandon... Aleast... Alice... Alice Brandon... I could suddenly picture in my mind, a small pixie with a halo of dark spikes around her head and a temper to match the Hulk's... and a tendency to chat until the cows came home. I remembered her going off on rants about one thing and would talk for so long that everyone would have completely forgotten what she said to start with... like Esme! The mysterious nagging that Esme reminded me of someone was now finally resolved! I felt a huge smile break out across my face.

"Are you alright?" Seth looked at me strangely, well, I guess I was standing in the middle of the supermarket for about five minutes before randomly grinning.

"Alice Brandon," I whispered.

"Huh?"

"Alice Brandon, she was my best friend... before the accident. I've remembered her! I think I'm starting to get my memory back! I looked at him and squealed excitedly, finally allowing my excitement and joy to break through. Seth joined in on my mood, having already warmed up to me since discovering my existence. He asked me what I remembered and I told him. I started rattling off random facts and little anecdotes, everything I could remember, and once I started talking... I never stopped. Well, until I couldn't remember any more. It wasn't that much, but it was a hell of a lot better than four days ago, before I had even discovered Rose and Emmett.

I went home in high spirits, getting carried away in my excitement and as soon as Seth entered the kitchen he revealed my revelation to Carlisle and Esme, who both seemed happy for me and grateful for the distraction. The atmosphere in the house was a lot livelier as we prepared and ate dinner that night. Edward was still in the back of our minds – we definitely hadn't forgotten about him – but we were able to be something other than utterly desolate.

* * *

**A/N - **thank you to my wonderful wonderful psychic beta who puts up with me and has awesome taste in music! (and friends lol :P)

but yeah, don't forget to get your lazy fingers workin' over those keys to give me a review! :P


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – hungry eyes**

**Tanya's pov**

It had been three days since we had taken him, _The Bronze._ I came up with the codename, it was because of his bronze coloured hair. It was _my_ codename they used, it was so much better than what Felix came up with – _The mama's boy_ – but I think it's cute that hugs his mum, that way, you just _know_ he'll be great with your children. So we called him The Bronze when we watched him.

If I thought he was hot just in the photos... he was on fire in real life! He was even much better looking than Carlisle! That was how they roped me into this. I was so angry when Carlisle chose Esme over me, it hurt so bad. And now I got my chance to get my revenge, we were meant to be together, Carlisle was just fighting fate keeping us apart. Lord knows how they got Felix into this, I mean how do you convince a _postman_ to be a part of a kidnapping? But apparently, he was a pervert and liked to watch Esme sleep, and other stuff...

I liked Victoria, but – like me – she held a grudge against Carlisle too. She never told me exactly what her problem was, but she wanted to make Carlisle _suffer as she had –_ whatever that means. She didn't count on me actually _liking_ him – Edward that is – but who wouldn't? He's got a body to _die_ for! Literally. She just thought we would get in a few videos designed to stick a knife straight into Carlisle's heart, twist it, yank it out then drive it back in again. Then they would demand a huge ransom and for Carlisle to quit being a doctor. Victoria was hell bent on torturing Carlisle emotionally, just as much as she was going to torture his son physically. It was a good plan.

They weren't going to let him get washed until I convinced them – well, it actually _would_ be easier to see the damage left if it wasn't hidden by all the grime – but he would also look and smell nicer, I liked a man with a sense of personal hygiene. Unfortunately, there were no other clothes for him to wear... maybe I should go buy some? Hmm... just some jeans I think, he doesn't _really_ need a top does he?

Demetri had just arrived yesterday, he was an ex-soldier – AKA the torture expert. You really had to admire Victoria's thoroughness in all of this. But he was good; whips, electric shocks, starvation, breaking bones was good too and even leaving him in uncomfortable positions for extended periods of time, so that he got muscle cramps... nothing was too far-fetched for him. He also advised us to taunt him, we hadn't let on to the fact that his friends were safe – but Demetri told us to convince him that we were torturing them as well... he said to be creative. He also said that emotional torture was most effective on the selfless ones... ones like Edward and Carlisle.

I peeked into Edward's room as I passed the door, letting my hungry eyes roam all over him. Aww, he looked so adorable when he was asleep! Plus, the swelling in his lip had gone down a lot so he was even more kissable! I crept further into his room and looked down at him, he was in such an awkward position, but I guessed the chains prevented him from being any more comfortable. No wonder he looked exhausted.

I knelt down beside him and marveled at his hair as I watched my fingers slip through it. He looked like Carlisle, I found myself acting on instinct, cradling his head on my lap, still running my fingers though his hair... He really had amazing hair. He had an amazing taste as well, I wondered what his lips would taste like without all the grime getting in the way...

His eyes snapped open and in the same instant he jerked away and rolled off my lap so he was standing up. He backed away until his manacles prevented his from retreating any more. Was there anything he could do that could make him seem less sexy? I watched the muscles in his arms shift under the skin as he vainly tried to escape.

"What are you doing in here? What do you want with me?" he asked, his low voice reverberating around the empty room.

Mmmmm, his voice! Then I decided to get a head start on what Demetri said, "Well, I got bored with your friends, they're not nearly as pretty as you – especially when they're all sweaty and covered in blood. Plus, all the screaming was giving me a headache."

His eyes filled with horror, which quickly morphed into rage and he suddenly lunged at me, only to be pulled up short by his chains. I backed up against the wall, well out of his reach but I was still nervous. I was sure he could crush me if he wasn't restrained. He was like a caged lion, a caged _furious_ lion.

"Where are they? What are you doing to them? You evil psycho! Just let them go!" he thundered. It was awe-inspiring to watch him, I almost did as he said! But then I caught sight of the chains and I knew there was nothing he could do. _I_ was the one in charge. And he was going to know it.

I smirked and sauntered up to him – he's not the only one who can be sexy. I got as close as I dared, almost and arm's length away. Then I quickly reached up and quickly grabbed his face in my hands and pulled him down to kiss me. He didn't respond... positively, he only yanked his head away as fast as he could and stumbled back a few steps.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" he sounded disgusted, but that was probably the exhaustion talking, plus it must be a shock to the system to be kidnapped. I would just have to convince him that I could satisfy him, and then – when all this captivity and torture nonsense was over and done with – we could run away together, just the two of us.

He continued backwards until the chains that held him secure was stretched tight and his shoulder was pressed against the wall. He looked at me fearfully. Oh please! I'm not going to torture you _now!_ Just because you think your friends are being tortured! I smirked and slyly stepped closer to him until I pressed against him trapping him against the wall. He was tall, but so was I. If I stood on my tiptoes, I could kiss him.

He was breathing heavily and I could feel his heart racing underneath my own – slightly calmer – heart as I pressed my body against his. With one hand, I bent his gorgeous head and pressed my lips to his, while my other hand roamed his luscious body. My hand traveled down his chest – his squirming becoming more pronounced as my hand slipped lower – until my fingers reached the hem of his shirt and tucked themselves underneath to trail lightly back up his bare skin, skimming the bruises where Laurent decided kneeing him in the balls wasn't enough payback for being taken down by one punch. He shivered under my touch.

His lips still remained obstinately mashed together, his head was pressing backwards on my hand – trying to escape me – and his arms were trying – unsuccessfully due to the hindrance of his chains – to push me away, which was disappointing... but then I got an idea. The hand that was under his t-shirt gently ghosted over his skin, back down and trailing over his side to rest on his bum. I gave it a quick squeeze causing him to yelp.

Which involved opening his mouth.

But before I could deepen the kiss, before I could take advantage of his parted lips and shove my tongue into his mouth, the door swung open and Victoria shouted at me, "What the hell do you think you're doing you blonde dolt!" I spun around to face the door while jumping away from him.

**Bella's pov**

Four day since we'd gotten the last video, five days since he'd been been missing... zero more DVDs in the letterbox.

Yet. I had to add the _yet_ because there _was_ going to be another... _soon._

We were all worried, but some of us were managing to hold it together better than others... not being judgemental or anything – but Esme was a mess. Who in her position wouldn't be? Anything could've been happening to him and we had no way of knowing...

I stopped the thought right there, before it got any more morbid. I sighed, what could we do? The only thing seemed to be waiting for the next DVD. And that was about as productive as falling apart... I guess I was no more use than Esme – none of us were. None of us _could_ be... that was the most frustrating thing. That my lack of productivity was forced on me... because I knew that if there was some way to help him, then I would bloody well be doing it right now!

I was so confused and frustrated, it felt like I would explode! I had all this pent-up energy releasing itself in small bursts every five seconds through my fidgeting. I tried to suppress the fidgeting... and managed to succeed – but then I realised, what good would that do? How on earth would sitting as still and as quietly as humanly possible help me? But what if I have to do surveillance undetected?

I was immediately transported back in time to under the floorboards of... somewhere. There were people above me, they were talking about... something, their voices were all blurred, lost in the recesses of my mind. I was dressed head to toe in an extremely dark grey – much more invisible than black – and being completely still, a task which required my mind to be elsewhere while I recorded the conversation on my... I couldn't remember. But I remembered having to modulate my breathing so it would come out even quieter. I had merely intended to plant the... recording device then get out and come back for it later, but they were earlier than anticipated...

I blinked and came back to the present from my memory... it was inordinately weird. It didn't even fit with my other memories, they had been happy and filled with friends. I forced it to the back of my mind. So I knew how to go unnoticed. Big deal.

I glanced out the window and saw the postman, he was a bit late today, maybe he got held up by Mrs Cope again, she really is desperate for attention. I felt sorry for her – her husband had passed away quite a few years ago, and although she had moved on, she was still lonely.

I strolled out to the letterbox, enjoying the crisp morning air, finding one small piece of enjoyment in my day. I opened the letterbox and stopped dead in the act of reaching for the post at the sight of what was before me. There was only one package. It was small and rectangular shaped, without the full address written on. After my moment of total absence of brain I snatched the package, not bothering to close the letterbox, and sprinted back in the house.

"It's another DVD!" I shouted up the stairs urgently, before spinning around to face the living room. I ran there, full-tilt, and hopped clean over the sofa in my haste to put the DVD in, I _had_ to know what had happened to him, I _had_ to know whether he was alright... yet at the same time, I dreaded what I would see. I heard thudding on the stairs, foreshadowing the arrival of everyone else who was in the house, which happened to be; Carlisle, Esme and Seth.

I pressed play as soon as the DVD player registered the disk and scrambled onto the sofa between Esme and Seth. I watched with trepidation as the screen blinked to show Edward sitting on the same chair as before in the same room as before... except he was shirtless. I took only a moment to admire his six pack and his broad, strong shoulders before giving in to the horror as I let my eyes register his bruises, his _fresh_ bruises. He wasn't gagged this time, but he looked more tired. Under his slightly faded black-eye, there were bags and purple shadows, his cheeks appeared a little sunken and his overall expression was more gaunt. His lips were cracked and dried and there was a table next to him but his gaze was locked, unwaveringly on something off screen... and he had a hungry look in his eye.

I couldn't believe it when blondie came on-screen. Granted I had no idea whether he was into blonde bimbos, but still, the person holding you captive? But then everything made sense when I realised that his gaze was trained on what she was holding rather than her. Her ultra tight and excessively revealing outfit did nothing to distract his fixated stare. Only his eyes betrayed how truly hungry he was, the way that nothing else could detract his attention from the potential meal. They had been starving him, I realised appalled.

Blondie walked seductively towards him, swaying her hips an extortionate amount – no woman ever _really_ walks like that. She set the food down on the table then sat on Edward's lap. I was _really_ starting to hate this bitch. But Edward didn't move a muscle, his eyes were still locked on the food right next to him and he was still looking at it like he hadn't eaten in a few days.

It was hard to watch as Edward's eyes followed the food as blondie – I really had to give her a new name, something with a bit more venom – picked up the burger and made a show of eating it. Even my own mouth was watering at the sight of the burger; a large, juicy, quarter-pound of beef, fresh lettuce and tomato, a slice of cheese, partially melted from the heat of the meat, the soft bread sprinkled with sesame seeds, tomato ketchup oozing thickly down around the edges of the burger... and I had recently been fed!

I half wanted to fast-forward to the part where the new instructions would be, the anguish it caused me to see someone suffer like that... it almost felt unreal. But it was real. And I felt, somehow, that I... _deserved_ to feel a shadow of his pain. I was sitting here comfortably while he... I gulped and focused back on the screen. Cruella Devil – the new name for blondie, don't ask me where it came from – was finally finishing her burger with many moans of appreciation and sipping at the coke. I noticed the logo on the cup and made a mental note to ask what McDonnalds was.

Edward still hadn't eaten anything.

Then Cruella started on the fries, she would grab one from the carton on the table and would slowly pass it in front of Edward's lips, teasing him, before quickly pulling it away and eating it. I didn't know how sick you would have to be to, not only deny a starving man a meal, but taunt him with food as well! But she kept going until there were no more chips left... and not once did Edward open his mouth. Not once did he hope that he might get some food.

Then I realised that was not his meal. Edward's meal was a hunk of dry, brown bread and a bottle of water. Cruella picked up the water bottle, "What do you want?" she whispered seductively to him?

But Edward remained silent with hard eyes never wavering from her now the food was gone, even when she repeated the question again. She sighed, exasperated, and climbed off his lap, drinking from the bottle lazily as she stalked around his chair. Edward watched her warily until he couldn't see her any more. She leaned down, grabbed his hair and angrily pulled his head backwards and whispered in his ear, "We'll try this one more time, _what do you want?"_

Again, Edward remained silent... defiant.

Cruella shoved his head forwards in frustration, she walked round to stand in front of him then punched him square on the nose. We all cringed and my tears doubled as we heard the crunch of a nose breaking.

"Argh! Fuck! Ahhh, _JesusmotherfuckingChrist!_" he bowed his head over his broken and bleeding nose.

"Oh, so you can speak," Cruella asked innocently as she pulled his head up to face her, "Now your nose is all crooked! Tsk tsk tsk, we cant have that ruining your pretty face now, can we?"

She turned to the side and nodded to someone else in the room. They came to stand behind him and gripped his head, holding it still. Both mine and Edward's eyes widened simultaneously as the realisation struck and Edward started to struggle. Cruella reached down and tweaked his nose straight, then adjusted it some more until it was perfectly straight while Edward howled in pain and and his muscles tensed, straining against his bonds. His head was struggling in his captor's vice-like grip. I could see his eyes tearing up, the emeralds swimming in salty pools and his chest heaving as he panted.

My heart ached for me to be able to put myself between them, to shield him somehow, but I could only watch as the bitch leaned in to whisper something to Edward. She straightened up, "What do you want?" she barked at him.

"Water – and food... _please_," his tone turned scathing at the end, I could hear the disdain and revulsion dripping from his voice.

The bitch seemed satisfied and allowed him to drink from the bottle. She sat back down on his lap, practically draping herself all over him as she leaned against his chest with her arm slung over his shoulder. She held the bottle to his lips as he gulped the water down hungrily. I was amazed by the relief I felt at this small victory, even though I knew his suffering wouldn't end there. But at least he was getting some kind of reprieve from the thirst. Could be possibly be saved from starvation next? The anxiety was starting to build again.

Eventually, the bottle was finished and she picked up the bread roll, "Do you want to eat?"

After a few seconds of waiting, Cruella sighed and flicked his nose, "Do you want to try that again?"

Why? Why put himself through so much suffering? I can appreciate not wanting to give them the satisfaction... but it was different. _He_ was sat there, _he_ wasn't allowed to bring pain upon himself... he wasn't allowed to be kidnapped. He _should not be kidnapped!_ The agony on his face when Cruella flicked his nose... I shuddered again at the thought.

"Yes... please," I could hear both pain and distaste in his voice.

She smiled a sickeningly sweet smile at him and held a piece of bread up and ever so slowly brought it to his lips and pushed it inside his mouth. The way she did it was all so... _sensual_. Well, it would've been if he wasn't impossibly tense and glaring at her. I didn't know him that well but I still felt sick to the core that I had to watch the bitch being so provocative and... _degrading. _

Cruella continued feeding him the bread and I could see the way he grimaced when he swallowed, but I could also see the hunger in his eyes when he looked at the food. It was a horrible thing to watch, and probably infinitely worse to experience.

By the time Cruella had finished feeding Edward and had stood up, it was a pitifully small amount that he had actually eaten. But she took the tray away and only came back with another piece of paper, another set of instructions. But maybe we were one step closer to getting Edward back.

Oh hell, I'm talking – _thinking_ – like I actually knew him, although it's kinda hard _not_ to feel that way when his presence was everywhere. You could see him in everyone's thoughts, no matter what they were thinking about, his absence was invading every aspect of their lives, seeping in like a dark fog, hovering and choking everyone, making everything gloomy and depressing. It was as if his absence had created a whole in their lives, a black hole that was sucking everything light and joyous and happy down into its unfathomable depths with an unstoppable force and speed.

Plus, he was at the forefront of their minds quite a lot, I had heard so much about him. I knew what his favourite meal was, his favourite colour, his hobbies, his favourite books... But like when Carlisle was telling me about myself in the hospital, it was cold and impersonal. It was... less meaningful. I wanted to find out about Edward from Edward himself. That was a small, selfish reason for wanting to rescue him, but it was one in long line of reasons I had for getting him back. I _was_ going to get him back.

Edward looked down at his lap, then gulped and looked up nervously... but he also seemed a little more... lost and hopeless than before, like he'd even more of a shock – and that was putting it lightly. He looked pleadingly at he camera, before proceeding to read, "Doctors have many responsibilities... such as keeping people alive. When responsibilities such as these are not taken care of, there are... consequences." he paused for a long time before gulping and continuing, "The consequences of killing a baby have come."

We all gasped and our heads snapped to Carlisle, even Edward's eyes seemed to be trained on him from the TV. I recognised the pleading look on Edward's face, as if he was begging for it not to be true. The light in Edward's eyes had gotten a little dimmer, he was starting to loose hope. Somehow, I knew that we needed to rescue him before the light went out completely. Then the screen went blank.

Everyone was staring at Carlisle in shock. Carlisle himself was staring straight ahead with a blank expression on his face. You could tell chaos was going to erupt when people finally came to their senses. It probably would've happened as well, if my ecstasy hadn't exploded inside me and made me squeal and jump with a huge smile planted on my face.

Then everyone was staring at me in shock, as if I'd completely lost my head. It was funny but I felt obliged to explain, "Can't you see? These bitches have given us a clue! We could probably narrow down their identities to a few people and from there we can get it down to one! And then we really will be one step closer to getting Edward back! Carlisle, we just need to look at your medical files of babies who have died while you were their doctor." I could see he was about to protest so I carried on before he could say anything, "and don't give me any crap about doctor-patient confidentiality, this is to get your son back."

A hesitant smile worked its way onto Carlisle's face, "So you don't believe I killed a baby?"

"Hell, no! You couldn't harm a baby if you tried! Now come on! We need to find out who has Edward!"

Things were suddenly seeming a lot brighter, there was a lightness reminiscent of the time before Edward was kidnapped. We all had a renewed hope and vigour in us, I could feel it surging within me as I hopped clean over the settee again. We ran out the door, leaving Esme crying and clinging onto Seth who had such a hopeful expression on his face , I scrambled into the passenger seat to Carlisle's Mercedes and I clicked the seatbelt into place as Carlisle got to the driver's door.

_Edward, we're coming to get you.

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**A/N - **please please please please _please_ review! _  
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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – hope **

Victoria and James walker. That's who we had narrowed it down to. That's who had Edward... I loathed just seeing their names on the paper in front of me. There had been complications in the birth and the baby had died. James and Victoria had tried to sue the hospital and Carlisle, but both cases fell through as there had been nothing that could have been done, by Carlisle or _any_ doctor that could have cared for them.

Now we knew who had Edward... we just had to find where they had him. _That_ was the part that was going to be difficult. It had been six days since he was taken.

We headed home with their file – the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing had completely gone out the window, well that's what those bitches get! *insert inappropriate hand gesture here* – to work on a way of getting Edward back. _Hang on just a little longer. Please Edward, have hope. _

Not many people completely understand the value of hope, it's severely underestimated a lot of the time. Hope means there's a chance for recovery, when someone goes through a traumatic event, you know that once _t__hey've_ lost hope, _you've_ lost them. And the effect of hope on this family was beyond obvious as well, hope gave them energy, hope gave them a purpose, hope let them stave off the grief that _will_ prove to be unnecessary, hope gave them the strength to carry on, to look for him... Hope holds the last reserve of humanity when we have nothing else left.

Only three babies had died in Carlisle's care during his whole career as a doctor, a career that spanned twelve years. That was pretty good going. Victoria and James had been the only couple to have taken any action against Carlisle, and the most recent – only a year and a half ago.

They were clearly delusional, but they had now gone way beyond clinical insanity – they were stripping Edward down, they were weakening him with physical violence and starvation and thirst, and then taking away his hope. They were seemingly on a mission to make Edward a shell of a man... and making Carlisle and Esme watch the juiciest bits. Sick freaks.

We had found their address on the medical file and once we were home, had started to strategise about how the hell we were going to do this.

By the time we had come up with a half-decent plan, it was too late to actually act on it, which was frustrating. Even though I felt like I already knew Edward some how, I couldn't wait to _actually_ get to know him. It was a strange desire, but a strong one. I sighed as I flopped on my bed in my pyjamas, the stress was really wearing me out. I reached around my neck for the chain I had attached my bracelet to, I had accidentally caught it on the door handle so now it wouldn't tie around my wrist. My fingers stroked the friendship bracelet reverently, this was my sole object of comfort. I vaguely recalled a promise – I don't know who to – that we would find each other one day via these bracelets, we had been children in love.

I half wanted to take the bracelet off, partly because I wanted to keep it safe, partly because I wasn't sure I would be able to keep the promise that came with it. Especially since I suspected that Edward had something to do with not being able to fulfil the promise. This was so confusing, should I honour the promise I made when I didn't really consider the consequences or really understand _what_ my promise _was_? Or should I follow my heart and find out if I could love Edward... and if he could love me back?

I needed some advice and the first person that popped into my head was Alice... but I didn't know how to reach her, or Rosalie. Plus, everyone around here would be biased towards Edward, I'm sure. I was alone.

**Edward's pov**

_No! _I couldn't believe it, the coincidence was to great, this couldn't be happening... but it was. _It might not be who you think it is_.

"How does it feel to know that you've been replaced already? You've only been gone seven days... they could hardlyeven wait a week!" the red-head spat in my face. I didn't want to believe her lies, I couldn't believe they'd replaced me – I had been living with them for nine years – and I couldn't believe that dad had _killed_ a baby... but pictures can't lie, they only hold pure, solid facts. I kept staring at them as if they would suddenly reveal a vital truth that I was somehow missing at this moment.

I saw... _her –_ I refused to believe that the girl in those pictures was who I thought she was – and mum cooking together, I saw them all round the dining room eating, I saw her hugging Seth, both of them with excited grins stretched across their faces. Did the mystery girl even know about me? Did they even still have that photo of me on the piano still on the mantle piece? Had I left no mark on their lives what so ever? ...did she even remember me? _Dammit! That girl is _not_ Bella!_

I refused to show any emotion, they wouldn't see me break down. I wouldn't show them any weakness, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"Look how happy they are together... without you. Were they ever even happy _with_ you? ...Looks like they didn't just replace you, they _upgraded_ you," She showed me more photos; of Bella cooking, Bella getting the mail, Bella making everyone smile and laugh... "How does it feel to know that you're _that_ worthless?"

Honestly, it was crushing... but like hell I would ever let them know that.

I had no idea what these people wanted, and I also had no idea how I was going to get out of there. What the hell had I done to deserve this? Was I really _that_ bad of a son? Had I out-grown my worth and my welcome to them? Were they bored of my piano playing? Did I swear _that _much? Did they blame me for the girls that still sometimes turn up on our doorstep, wanting to see me? Did they think I was some kind of womaniser? Did they think I slept with any of them? Were they so repulsed by me?

I kept staring at the photos – specifically Bella. I tried to console myself with the fact that they seemed a lot happier... but that shit just wasn't working. Yeah, I did want them to be happy – even if that happiness didn't involve me – but they just _abandoned_ me? _That_ was hard to swallow. I had no witty comebacks for the kidnappers, my mind was more focused on the rejection I felt. How could they just leave me here in this hell hole?

I didn't fucking deserve this. I _didn't_ deserve it, I'm sure... did I?

The red-head laughed when I was obvious she wasn't going to get a response out of me, and left. The closing of the door seemed to seal the finality of my fate, would I ever get out of here? How long would I be left to rot? I looked at the photos again, I studied Bella, trying to make sure it really was her and not some freakishly close look-a-like. My eyes travelled to her wrists – they were bare.

No! My mind instantly rejected the thought that this was Bella, she just _couldn't _have forgotten about me! Nine years I had kept mine, dutifully never taking it off... but a lot could happen in nine years. I couldn't ignore the feeling in my gut that this really was Bella. Would she recognise me? Would the name Edward Masen even mean anything at all to her? I felt the despair choke me as my eyes were drawn back to her wrist; no, no it wouldn't mean a thing.

Finally, I broke down. It was the last straw; my family had abandoned me, my dad had killed a _baby_, my child hood love had completely forgotten me and my friends were being held captive and tortured as I was – I failed to notice the inconsistency where they were in some of the photos with Bella.

I curled up into a ball in the darkness, I wrapped my arms around my bent knees and rested my head on my arms and sobbed, I felt even worse when the chain linking me to the wall got in the way – just another reminder of something I wished was a nightmare. What could I do? I was helpless. I was weak. I was pathetic. I wasn't even their biological son... because my real parents didn't want me either. They just fucking _left_ me, was I really that unlovable? Was I really not worth it? Was maybe a few sleepless nights, an extra mouth to feed and and extra back to clothe really too much to ask?

Eventually, my eyes dried out and I just felt defeated... and confused. _Why?_ The question wouldn't leave me alone, I couldn't fathom how all this had happened, I had never picked up on any resentment from my mum, dad or friends. I didn't know what to believe.

I was exhausted, I had only just gotten to sleep – well, that's what it felt like anyway – before they had woken me up to tell me this. I hated them. I hated the fucking kidnappers more than the throne of Satan itself. Did they somehow enjoy seeing the misery they cause in other people? Were they really _that_ sick and twisted? How could anyone enjoy walking me to and beyond the gates of hell like that? How could they deliver torture so effectively?

I leant my head back against the wall, not bothering to wipe at my damp cheeks, not caring if I looked like a pathetic wreck. I looked at my crumpled t-shirt beside me, the blonde one made me take it off and its kinda impossible to get it back on with my hands in shackles. I hated being shirtless, in front of them, it made me feel even more vulnerable and exposed when what I didn't need right now was more weaknesses that they could exploit. So I didn't protest or give any indication that the bloody t-shirt mattered in any fucking way at all.

I felt the tiredness slowly permeate through my muscles, into my very bones. Soon, I was saturated with fatigue, I slid sideways so I was horizontal, and awkwardly pushed my t-shirt under my head as some sort of pillow. I fell into a restless sleep with only one clear thought sounding strongly in my mind: _I am alone_.

**Bella's pov**

Eight days. It's been _eight fucking days_ since Edward was kidnapped. And today was the day that me, Carlisle, Seth and Ben would be going round to Victoria's house. This wasn't going to be pleasant, but if it would get Edward back, I would do it in a heartbeat... was it possible to fall in love with someone you haven't even met?

"Hi, Seth," I called over my shoulder as I was rinsing my plate.

"Damn, how did you know I was there? I made no noise _at all!_" he whined, he'd been trying to sneak up on me for a couple of days now – and so far, it hadn't worked.

"I have eyes in the back of my head," I joked.

I heard the scrape of the chair as Seth sat down at the kitchen table, on the seat nearest the door, "Why are you coming with us? I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but Esme and Ang are staying here, it could get violent... again."

I snorted, "I'd like to see you try and stop me," I retorted, turning to face him for the first time while wiping my hands on a dish cloth.

Seth smirked, seeing my retort as a challenge... and I smirked back – I had no idea where my confidence had come from. Seth lunged at me as if he was going to grab the tops of my arms. I quickly slid to the side holding the dishcloth taught between both hands so it would block his attempt to grab me, my bottom hand came up and around his hands, trapping them together as I stepped behind him and pulled his trapped hands over his shoulder, his elbows were pointed up in a weak position and not much strength was needed to hold him there. All of this was done in less than six seconds...

And I had no idea how I did that.

I stared at the dishcloth as I let it slide though my hands. Seth slowly pulled his hands in front of him and the dishcloth fell to the floor. The worst thing was, I knew exactly what I was going to do next. I straightened the knee that had just begun its journey upwards where I would then have kicked the back of his knee, forcing it to bend and hit the floor, next would come a blow to the back of his head that would've knocked him out cold.

I ran out the door and sat on the doorstep, what did this mean? No memories had come attached with this, it was almost instinctual. How did I know this? This was obviously a clue to my former life, but now I knew I could knock a person out in ten seconds, did I really want to know what my life was like before? _Should_ I know what my life was like before? Was I a thug? No, I had friends who seemed normal; Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett. What other profession could require the knowledge of how to knock someone out?

Once I'd gotten over my little freak-out, I decided I should go back inside and apologise, or at least explain to Seth.

Seth was sat in the chair that he was sat in before, as soon as I saw him I blurted out, "I'm sorry! I don't know where that came from, it was like I didn't have to think about it, I just reacted. Believe me, I never meant to do any of that!"

Seth looked up at me and grinned, "Holy shit Bells! That was awesome! You _have _to teach me how to do that, you could totally take Edward and he's the best fighter I know! He's a black-belt!"

"Oh..." this was really _not_ the reaction I was expecting, "Sure, I'll do that one day."

Then the doorbell rang, Seth went to answer it while I stayed at the table thinking about what I had just done, I mean, it could be – it would be – helpful if we were up against those kidnappers, surely self-defence wasn't that bad. But I was also sure that self-defence wasn't... _that._

"Hi! Is Edward here? He hasn't been answering his phone and I've called like fifty times," I heard a female voice ask, I felt both curios and defensive at the same time.

"Ok; one, how did you get Edward's number? Two, why the hell would he answer you – you know he doesn't like you and three, why the hell were you trying to call him anyway?" Seth retorted.

"I found his number on his facebook page and he doesn't have my number so he wouldn't even know who was calling and I just wanted to get to know him better without Lauren ruining everything," the girl whined sounding deflated.

"Well, Edward isn't here right now," Seth said coldly, his words cutting like ice.

The girl huffed, "Well, where the hell is he then? I mean he could at least have the decency to tell me to leave him alone to my face rather than getting one of his sidekicks to do it for him!" she shouted.

I could feel the tension coiling tighter, that girl had no idea what she had just said. Edward was a hero to Seth and I had felt extremely honoured when Seth told me I could probably take him in a fight... not that I was planning to fight him or anything. I got up quickly and stepped to the arch leading into the hallway, where I saw Seth close to losing it. He was stood there trembling in his anger.

"Don't talk about Edward like that," he threatened quietly.

"I can talk about him any damn way I like! It's not my fault he's a coward and is afraid to just _talk_ to me! I mean, that's pretty shitty."

And that was all it took for Seth to loose control. He slapped her – _hard_ – across the face and looked like he was about to do more before I stepped in and put a restraining hand on his shoulder, gripping him so tight that my nails were digging in. He was breathing heavily and I narrowed my eyes at the short girl with the bushy hair and hollow skull before quietly saying, "You don't know anything."

I could feel Esme come down the stairs behind us. The girl in front of me had her hand over her cheek and a horrified expression on her face which quickly turned into anger and determination as she eyed us suspiciously, "What don't I know?" the girl turned on me after a short pause, "You're with him aren't you? You're his girlfriend, you whore! I bet you don't even actually like him, you just want him for sex and for his money don't you?"

She raised her hand to slap me and I caught her wrist before she could even lay a finger on me. She looked offended that I had dared to block her attack then tried to kick me but I caught her foot with my free hand, stepped around the leg that she was stood on and pushed backwards. I didn't let her drop to the floor, but I didn't lower her down gently either and she landed with a low thud. I glared at her for a second then righted myself and stepped back so I was standing next to Seth.

"Jessica, I would like you to leave now," Esme spoke up, making her presence known.

The girl on the floor glared at all of us before huffing and scrambling to her feet so she could storm off. I turned round to look at Esme and noted her sad expression, "I never did like that girl, she was always after him. He _had_ told her and Lauren to stop bothering him. And he's _not_ a coward, he's the bravest person I know," Esme said softly before shuffling into the kitchen.

Me and Seth glanced at each other before following Esme into the kitchen, she had been getting more and more depressed since Edward had been taken and she had started to lose sleep, no matter how hard we tried to cheer her up. Carlisle, on the other hand had started working later at the hospital, he had been trying to keep himself busy so he didn't have to think so much about it, trying to keep himself from worrying himself sick. But even our renewed hope of just a few days ago had worn thin on Esme already.

I glanced out the window and groaned, the frizzy girl was back with a blonde accomplice, could this day get any _more_ frustrating? It was already lunch time and we weren't even able to get out the door yet!

**Edward's pov**

Nine days. Nine days. _Ouch –_ nine days. Nine days. Nine – _ouch – _days. Nine days. _Ouch – _nine days.

I wasn't even sat down this time. I was hanging by my hands from the ceiling and my toes were _just_ touching the floor. My ankles were tied together too, but the floor was smooth, so I could still move my legs if I wanted to... only that would involve putting more weight on my arms when they were already fucking killing me. I grunted and panted again as the dude with the dreads hit me again. The bastard even had a ring on! Almost every punch he threw ended up cutting me, I could feel the stinging all over my torso where my salty sweat had run into the cuts.

Dreads was about to go for my balls again – his eyes always gave him away, flashing to the place he was going to hit before he even moved, giving me even more time to react. My balls were already sore and I wasn't about to let him make it any worse. So I gripped the rope holding me up more tightly, heaved myself up a little – the changed position of my arms felt wonderful even if they were still a little dead – and kicked him with both my feet. I almost laughed when dreads fell flat on his back, but my throat was too dry and scratchy.

Suddenly the blonde psychopath rushed into the room, "Stop, now! Everyone quiet!" she whisper-shouted, then she pulled out a gun and pointed it in the centre of my forehead, "That goes for you too. Shout, and I'll have your fucking brains smeared across that wall behind you faster than you can say _help me._"

Her hand shook as she held the gun. So this is what it felt like to stare death in the face. Hindsight was a bitch, I knew, but I wouldn't call this _hindsight_, I would call it... sudden total clarity of thought. My brain seemed to work faster and clearer with the rush of adrenaline and blood. She was inexperienced, manipulative and I didn't think she really would kill me. _Think_ being the operative word.

"What have I got to live for?" I asked lowly and almost tauntingly, the rasp in my voice making me sound needy... or like I was dying.

"W-we have your ffffriends, we could just as easily s-s-shooooot them," she stuttered.

Another light-bulb flashed above my head, "No you don't, they were in the photos you showed me two days ago. You have no-one here but me... and whoever is outside." there were many inconsistencies in their façade, such as why they were still bothering to film this shit if no-one gave a damn. And why would there be people outside _now_, sending them into an almost panic attack, when there hadn't been any people outside before. Whatever the reason, it gave me hope.

"I'll shoot you, I really will!" she was making more noise than me now and she was too nervous to be able to actually kill someone... intentionally. The barrel of the gun was right between my eyebrows and dreads was whispering to the blonde that she should just do it. It occurred to me that if the blonde was to be startled, would she flinch and accidentally squeeze the trigger? Was it worth the risk to find out? There could possibly be help on the outside, would I ever get this chance again?

The other girl in the room came closer too, trying to intimidate me by outnumbering me even more. But if someone knew I was here... if help would actually come...

I swallowed, trying to wet my throat before I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with as much air as I could so I could shout for help. All six eyes of my captor's widened in front of me when they realised what I was going to do. I could see their panic and I relished in the vindictive satisfaction for a moment before, everything happened at once and the air gushed out of me explosively.

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**A/N - **I know I haven't updated _anything_ in a while, but who knew i would actually be _busy_ over the holidays?

anywaaaaayyyyyyy... the more reviews i get, the quicker i get them - the quicker you find out what happened next! Mwa ha ha haaa!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – hi! Long time no see... yeah, no excuses. But please review anyway!**

_**Previously - **"I'll shoot you, I really will!" she was making more noise than me now and she was too nervous to be able to actually kill someone... intentionally. The barrel of the gun was right between my eyebrows and dreads was whispering to the blonde that she should just do it. It occurred to me that if the blonde was to be startled, would she flinch and accidentally squeeze the trigger? Was it worth the risk to find out? There could possibly be help on the outside, would I ever get this chance again?_

_The other girl in the room came closer too, trying to intimidate me by outnumbering me even more. But if someone knew I was here... if help would actually come..._

_I swallowed, trying to wet my throat before I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with as much air as I could so I could shout for help. All six eyes of my captor's widened in front of me when they realised what I was going to do. I could see their panic and I relished in the vindictive satisfaction for a moment before, everything happened at once and the air gushed out of me explosively.

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**Chapter 7 – Worry**

**Edward's pov**

_Bang! _

The sound of the gun shot rang out around the house and probably the surrounding area if we were still in Forks, but it was accompanied by a cry of pain. I felt burning agony in my stomach. I couldn't breathe. I dropped to the floor and curled into a ball. The pain was breathtaking. The cry was still ringing in my ears and I literally couldn't breathe...

The despair crashed down on me, _how could this have happened? Why did this have to happen? _

**Alice's pov**

Two weeks. _Two freaking weeks!_

Bella should've called by now. She should've called twice by now. Or communicated with us one way or another... if she was getting Jaz back for the awful name, then she will have_ hell_ to pay when I get my hands on her for making me worry like that!

But what if something was really wrong? I mean really, really wrong? Suddenly all the things that could go wrong were flashing through my head, each one more horrifying than the next... I really knew how to get myself worked up. I'd been doing it every day for the past week, what happened? Why haven't we received word?

The hospital records show Bella reached Forks and was in the care of Dr Carlisle Cullen, but why hasn't she contacted us? What could've happened to one of our best agents to make her... silent?

Jaz put a comforting hand on my shoulder and with the other hand gently pulled my fingernails from between my teeth. "Sshhh, baby. She might just have broken her comms unit and not be able to fix it, you know technology isn't her forte," Jaz tried to console me.

And I tried to let him. But when its your best friend out there... The worst thing was, if something could put Bells out of action, what chance did the rest of us have? Maybe if we stuck together... Either way, the future looked bleak.

My hand worked its way to my mouth again and I bounced on my seat, having nothing to do with seemingly so much time. Everyone was worrying, and we were all handling it differently... which made arguments more common.

We were reluctant to initiate contact with the targets, especially since we didn't know Bells' status. Had going in blind been a bad idea? The thing is, I was usually able to tell straight away whether going out into the field was a bad idea... but I got no such feelings before this mission. Was I losing my touch? This mission had been rocky from the start, everything seemed to be delayed or indistinct. We had no idea what was going on.

We were an elite team, Emmett was the strongest person ever to have walked the earth... probably. I had some kind of intuition on where to go and whether missions are a bad idea, Jasper can tell whether someone is aggressive or when they're lying... unless they're very confident and skilled. Rosalie... well, Rosalie is the 'distraction'. And Bells is the chameleon, she blends into the background. I still wasn't getting any bad vibes from this mission, but the way this was going had me worried.

_What the hell could we do? _

**Bella's pov **

Jessica and Lauren simply refused to leave. It was infuriating! They demanded to see Edward. When we told them no, they demanded we stop hiding him. When we told them we weren't hiding him, they said they would wait here for him. That's when they sat down and refused to budge. Should I be worried that the idea of strangling them was starting to become really tempting? I guess I should be worrying, the idea was bordering on being irresistible! Those two had better watch out!

Esme, ever the gracious host, offered them drinks and snacks once it was obvious they were going to be staying for a while, I would've just left them. Why did they even have to be here? Could we even tell them what happened? We were reluctant to tell the police as, obviously they would show up – making their presence know, here at least... and the kidnappers were watching the house. No-one wanted to take that chance with Edward's life. I think everyone agreed that nothing was more important than that.

Night fell and we finally managed to get them to leave. _Had the darkness suddenly bestowed upon them the sacred gift of reason?_ I was fuming the whole day, I had wanted to simply drag them out of the house – kicking and screaming preferably. It took Seth convincing me for fifteen minutes that that wasn't a good idea and insane amount of self control for me to leave them in peace... physically. The strange thing was, that even though I knew what satisfaction physically kicking them out would bring... I knew I shouldn't, it was like I didn't want to show them that side of me. I was in a foul mood and I made explicitly sure that Jessica and Lauren knew that. Hmm... maybe it wasn't so much the darkness that got them to leave for the night, but the fear that I would garotte them in their sleep. Well, it certainly was an entertaining idea.

I suggested we go to bed early that night, reasoning that the earlier we go to bed, the earlier we will wake up, thus giving us more of a chance to actually get out in the morning. I had little doubt that Jessica and Lauren would make good on their promise to come back in the morning, they were too obsessed with Edward not to. Jesus! How had he lived here for all those years without being molested? I also wondered how extreme Tweedledum and Tweedledee would get, what length they would go to to get Edward, what they would do if we told them what happened to him. I had a vision of them blaming me... but I took care of them. Ok, them cowering at my feet probably wasn't going to happen, but it was a fun thought.

Consistent with my reasoning, I was up early. Ridiculously early. As in half five in the morning, early. Somehow the term eager didn't quite seem strong enough.

I stood in the kitchen, staring out the window and daydreaming until I heard footsteps on the stairs. I was reluctant to come back to earth so I stayed by the window, making Carlisle jump when he spotted me. I didn't move, just kept staring out the window, I don't think Carlisle minded, he joined me after he made his coffee.

Finally, everyone was up... and by everyone, I mean everyone who was going to find Edward. There was a part of me that was screaming at me to get this done alone... and with more stealth, but I had no idea how to go about doing that. In the end, I ignored the squirming in my gut and followed Carlisle, Seth and Ben out of the house and into Carlisle's back Mercedes, very nice car, can produce lots of power, if handled right.

Just as I was about to get in the car, I turned and saw Esme and Angela standing at the front bedroom window. I tried to manage a smile for them and their answering smiles were equally pathetic. I didn't blame them though, at least they were trying, now. Hope was definitely a powerful thing. I briefly wondered where this family would be by now, if they didn't have any hope... yeah, it wasn't pretty.

Shuddering to myself, I climbed into the car and looked out the window as the scenery began to move. Carlisle drove a little above the speed limit – he had probably seen enough accidents to ensure that he never sped... but he was anxious to get to Edward. We arrived at a small, run-down house with a severely overgrown garden – if you could call it that. The grass was patchy at best, and there was an abundance of weeds everywhere. There was also a cracked, concrete path leading to darkened and peeling door, with dusty, grimy windows that were too dirty to see through, even up close. There were no cars in front of the house, meaning their car/van was hidden on the property or parked further down the street. A twitch of an upstairs curtain caught my eye, alerting me to the fact that they were in... and knew we were here. This was not good; this meant that they had all the power. I gave no indication that I had seen the twitch as I continued to walk along the crumbling concrete path.

Carlisle knocked on the door while me, Seth and Ben were gathered around him. Everyone else was focusing on the door – that almost definitely wouldn't open – while I was looking around the vicinity and spotted several alternative ways of entering the house... although only one would realistically work at this time, with these resources and this company; unfortunately it was also the most risky – well, it would be if I was on my own. If only I had my equipment on me, I could easily scale the wall and enter through the window! An errant thought crossed my mind, quite disturbingly. _Why would I know how to break and enter? Was I a criminal?_ I hoped not.

After it became clear that no-one was going to answer – the door, not the questions in my head – Seth suggested the much clichéd '_let's go round the back_'. I tried to shoot the idea down, but I was overruled and unwilling to let them bumble along without supervision. I felt like a baby sitter... which was weird since Carlisle was an adult and Ben and Seth weren't exactly children.

I rushed to head into the front and lead them into the bushes near the front of the garden, going right to the edge of the property to give the illusion that we'd left. Something about this told me that we were dealing with amateurs, I mean, it had only taken us a week to locate Edward – even though that week was excruciating and I would never think it ought to have taken longer. Which meant that they were more likely to panic and therefore more likely to become violent. I lead the others into the hedge and made sure to climb deep enough that any rustling of the branches would be minimal. I crawled between the branches around the trunks, going slowly and carefully as stealth was more important than speed. Although I wasn't sure what we hoped to accomplish by observing the house from behind, maybe we could confirm that Edward was here? I had no idea.

The back of the house was just as overgrown and as filthy as the front and I was disgusted at the thought of Edward being held captive here, hell it made me sick to think of anyone living here willingly! I peered through the branches and tried to make out what was happening beyond the grime in the windows. I gasped when I saw Edward, hung from the ceiling by his wrists, with a gun pointed at his head by Cruella Devil; and judging by the similar gasps emanating from beside me, the others had seen the scene too.

"I'll shoot you, I really will!" we heard the words float down from the second story window.

A rustle beside me alerted me to the fact that Carlisle was obviously overwhelmed by the sight of his son being in danger right in front of him and had sprung from his hiding place. What he planned to do, I will never know – and I doubt he ever will either – but I was immediately diving after him, trying to drag him back into the cover of the hedge. Alas it didn't work and we were spotted by the slut with the gun.

"Retreat!" I whisper-yelled as I pushed Carlisle towards our only feasible escape route.

The kidnappers were slow to react and I was halfway across the yard before the gun was fired... unfortunately, the bullet went straight through my thigh. While it didn't feel like the bone had been hit – thank god or it would take even longer to heal – nevertheless, I was still incapacitated, adrenaline being the only thing allowing me to hobble away with me arm around Seth's shoulder. As I was turning the corner, I glanced back at Cruella and mouthed the word 'bitch' to her while giving her the middle finger. Her enraged expression was enough to distract me from the pain for a moment.

I collapsed into the backseat of the car: laying down; raising my leg and gripping onto it fiercely, trying to apply enough pressure to stem the blood-flow... or at least slow it. Fortunately, the bullet missed any and all major arteries. I ordered Carlisle not to go to the hospital; I was met with some resistance but as soon as I pointed out the a gun-shot-wound would be pretty hard to explain, they were more compliant.

We soon pulled into Carlisle's drive and everyone was rushing around me. Carlisle was now in doctor mode, directing everyone – finally I could relax – as I was moved into the house and given anaesthetic.

When I woke up, I was back in my bed and my leg was bandaged and clean. I looked around to see if there was anything to indicate how long I had been out for. Unfortunately, no-one was around and I wasn't about to risk my recovery by using my leg now. So, I drained the water on the bedside table and went back to sleep.

The second time I woke up, Esme was beside me. After a moment of simply giving me a soft smile – Carlisle obviously hadn't told her what we saw at the kidnappers' base – she thanked me for both saving Carlisle's life and risking my own for Edward. I told her that I couldn't have done anything else and I also found out I'd only been asleep for two days as the bullet had hit the outside of my leg and gone straight through. I also found out that it would be a few days before I should consider moving my leg and another week or so before I would be able to walk on it. I tried to go back to sleep soon as that's when the body mostly uses its protein for growth and repair. So I also instructed Esme to give me lots of protein-rich foods like chicken and fish.

Esme was eager to agree and swept out of the room to fetch Carlisle. Carlisle was back in record time and by the look on his face, what he had seen was haunting him. He sat down on the end of my bed and gave me a half smile, "How are you feeling Bells?"

"My leg is a little sore, but what about you, Carlisle? How are you feeling? ...and I don't mean physically."

Carlisle looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, presumably trying to organise his thoughts, "I suppose I'm thankful... grateful," Carlisle saw my expression and hurried to continue to explain, "to you! For keeping us sane after the last DVD... and for saving my life back there. Thank you for guiding us... But I'm also horrified and disgusted and terrified that they're going to up their game now and frustrated that I came so close to him only to be forced to flee after a glimpse and useless because there seems to be nothing I can do! ...and... what do we do next Bells?" Carlisle looked at me pleadingly.

"Well," I started as I began to strategise, "They will be in panic mode now, they will move Edward somewhere else, although they have to stay close by to continue posting the DVDs without a stamp... However, since they'll be trying to move base, their surveillance of the house will be lacking, so now would be the time to involve the police."

Carlisle looked at me, his face paling and his eye terror-stricken, "But... but won't... won't those monsters do something more to Edward! They said they would. They told us not to involve the police or else they would kill him!"

"We can't do this alone." I told him, keeping my voice calm and even, "The police have the resources and the authority to get him back. None of us here really know what we're doing, the police do. Someone needs to take all the DVDs and the photos and the medical records to the police. Don't phone them, the phones might be bugged."

"By the end of my speech, Carlisle was nodding along with everything I was saying – how did I somehow become the de-facto leader of... whatever this was? "You're right, I hope this ends soon, I don't think anyone can take much more of this." I nodded in agreement, "When should we do this?"

"Do it sometime where the traffic is busy, there might still be someone watching the house so make sure everyone goes out at roughly the same time, and after, go straight to the hospital, or somewhere, in case they decide to try and find you while you're out. Stay in public areas and don't let anyone go on their own. If someone tries to attack you, call the police but don't draw attention to the call."

Carlisle left me shortly afterwards with some painkillers. I took them, finding amusement in Carlisle's surprise at my cooperation. He thought my independence and determination would make me restless and awkward when it came to being taken care of, but I assured him it was my determination that meant I would do anything heal quickly, if it meant I would be confined to a bed, then so be it.

I fell asleep soon after, worrying about how Edward was, I was suddenly worried that our attempted rescue mission had provoked the kidnappers. What would that mean for Edward? The image of Edward staring down the barrel of a gun was imprinted on my mind as I fell asleep.

**Edward's pov**

_Bella_... it was the only thought in my head as I lay on the floor, struggling to breathe. The kick had been so powerful that the ropes holding me up had snapped... hence my position on the floor.

I was towed back to my cell, hurriedly chained to the wall once again and left to get over the pain in the dark. Once the pain had receded to a dull throbbing, I was able to fall asleep – thank god. On the one hand, I was depressed that my family had come so close, yet I hadn't even seen them properly, and on the other hand, relieved that they did actually care. I was thankful that I had been lied to.

The door banged open and the redhead stormed into the room looking like she was burning with rage, her flame-coloured hair was waving around her face as she moved and her eyes were ablaze – not to mention the yellow light on her pale skin made her look like she was made out of fire... maybe she was a demon or something, sent straight from the fiery depths of hell to prey on innocent people and thrive on their pain. Two of her bulky lackeys marched in behind her, coming to unchain me from the wall. They dragged me down the hall in the familiar ritual that would lead to more torture. Every time it would be something different. I suppose the only good thing about that would be that they had to run out of ideas eventually, right? There had to be only so many ways of torturing someone.

Why don't they just shoot me like they did Bella.

Only we went straight past the room and turned down some stairs. They quickly yanked a bag over my head before pushing me through the door. The cold bit at my bare skin, the Forks weather unforgiving on my exposed flesh. I stumbled blindly over the unkempt path until I was bundled into the very small boot of someone's car.

The thing about being in the boot, is that you can definitely tell exactly which roads need resurfacing. The journey was long, the space was cramped and stuffy and a single thought kept running through my mind: _is today my last day?_

The worry gnawed at me for the entire journey until I felt the car stop. I suppose it was selfish to be concerned about my own flesh when my family seemed to be in as much danger as me. But I couldn't help it. The boot opened and I was hauled out, my feet fumbling as I tried to stand under my own power, and taken into a new house.

I banged my shins when I unexpectedly hit the stairs. Whoever held my arms didn't slow down as they ascended, while I struggled to use my feet. We reached the top of the stairs – I wasn't expecting this either so I panicked for a moment as my foot fell through the air. We walked a little way along the landing, until I heard a door open and I was shoved into the room.

I fell flat on my face – the bag still covering my head – and tried to sit up, or at least get into a more comfortable position, but its a lot more difficult when you don't have the use of your arms. Eventually I managed it, I briefly considered trying to take the bag off as well but without my hands I would be reduced to flopping about like a fish out of water... and I had no intention of doing _that._

My shoulder throbbed where I had instinctively twisted to try and stop myself _completely_ face-planting and ending up with another broken nose, and the skin was grazed. I tried to move my cramped muscles to loosen them up a bit, but I couldn't effectively relieve the ache. I felt a small trickle of blood oozing out of the scrape, but I couldn't do shit about it.

I began doing what I always did when I was left alone – a survival tactic, if you will – and started thinking about anything that wouldn't remind me of where I was. I decided to work on the ending that still wasn't quite right yet. The tune ran through my head and I hummed it softly to myself trying out different combinations of notes, but nothing fit. In a way – although it was frustrating – I was glad, it kept me focused so I wouldn't go mad with boredom and despair.

Trying to sleep with your hands cuffed behind you is extremely difficult – don't try it. I was exhausted, but the sheer discomfort of trying to relax was keeping me up. At last I fell asleep on my stomach, my head turned at an angle almost painful for my neck, my dirty scrape burning at the contact with the wood and the floor digging in to my knees.

I was stiff when I woke up and completely disorientated. When I realised where I was – a new mystery location that was probably as grimy and disgusting as the last – I sighed and slumped against the wall. _When would this end? How the hell would anyone find me now? ...how did anyone find me in the first place?_ I spent a few minutes pondering that question before the door opened and the bag was ripped of my head.

I blinked as I looked at the demon, she smirked and said, "Do you like your new home? You know, we were going to let you go in a couple of days, but I think we could have a little more fun with you yet." She ran her fingers through my hair, almost _tenderly_, but I felt dirty at her touch. I cringed away from her as she sat down, straddling my legs. Her hands started roaming my face and she looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. "You know, you're quite the looker aren't you? Clear skin, sex-hair, startling green eyes... practically everything about you invites people in. I suppose you just cant help making people fall in love with you."

I didn't say anything, I wanted to spit in her face and tell her she was lying. I didn't want her to be right, I was desperate for it. I couldn't stomach the idea of any of _these_ people falling in love with me, I didn't want _anyone_ to fall in love with me...

Except the person who forgot me.

She seemed to snap herself out of the trance-like state she was in and ordered her lackeys to drag me into a new torture chamber. _Oh what fun! _At least they didn't have to drag me for too long in this prison.

I landed in a hard, wooden chair, just like the one that had been used since they first took me to the torture chamber. I started to really worry when I saw the tank of ice water in front of me. It was already cold in here, and my hungry and shirtless state just made me even more apprehensive. The tell-tale red LED light flickered on and I realised what this was.

This was revenge.

This time the demon spoke directly to the camera in a fearfully sweet voice, "We told you not to come looking for us. Tut tut tut... that was very naughty of you, we're gonna have to punish someone. Oh look! The only person we can punish is little Edward here. Poor Edward, he's going to have to take all your punishments for you, isn't that sweet of him?" her voice lost all its sugaryness and dropped to a flat monotone with a strong undertone of menace, contrasting scarily with the rest of her speech.

This was payback for coming to find me, this was their punishment... via me. Oh god. It would be easier for them just to forget about me. I eyed the tank just as the demon pushed me closer to it. The two that had dragged me to here grabbed me and shoved my head in the water, they held me there for a while and I started panicking as I ran out of oxygen. I struggled to get back in the air, but there was two of them leaning over me. Just as I thought I was going to drown, they let me up for some air.

I came up, panting and gasping for air, my lungs trying to compensate for the previous moments of being deprived. But before I could catch my breath, I was being shoved into the water again. After a while my lungs were burning, but it looked like they were going to shove me under again. When I came up it felt like my lungs were going to explode.

"Please," I tried to beg, but my voice was so hoarse it was barely a whisper, "Please... no more."

The devil woman looked over me critically before dunking my head one last time.

I was coughing up water as I was being dragged backwards, I couldn't see where I was being dragged to, but at that moment I was more focused on regaining the ability to breathe. I was left for only a moment before I was hoisted up and hung from my wrists again. My arms started protesting almost immediately as they were still somewhat sore from the prolonged hanging yesterday... bad choice of words, and the fall I took yesterday. Then, they attached big metal clips to me and stood back.

The demon walked in front of the camera and said, "The water was for you, Carlisle. Now this is for the skank who pushed you out of the way of T's bullet."

Fire. Burning through me as I jerked on the chain like a fucking fish... As I screamed in raw agony... As the electricity pulsated through seemingly every nerve in my body. It stopped after a few seconds – although I was a bit too preoccupied to be counting – and I was left panting heavily.

"Did you hear that Carlisle?" demon-girl asked, her voice falsely seductive as she showed her cleavage to the camera – dammit, everyone at home is going to see this, it would just about kill Esme... "When you pulled your little stunt the other day, you forced us into this. You. You made your precious son scream in pain."

Anger boiled inside of me, "How dare you!" I shouted, not caring that I was probably – definitely – making things worse for myself. "You think you can blame your sadistic shit on someone else? Or are you too cowardly to own up yourselves?"

"Shut up bitch!" she shouted as she backhanded me.

"Oh, you cant think of anything to say so you resort to violence? You're the lowest of the low! Was three on one a fair fight? You keep me tied up all the time because you're afraid of me getting out!" I taunted them as I struggled half-heartedly on the chains, I wanted to hit her, but I knew I wouldn't be able to escape.

She stood glaring at me – speechless once again – her fisted hands were trembling before she smirked, "I think we need to turn up the voltage, boys." She said as she turned on her heel and strutted back behind the camera.

The electricity scorched me from the inside out. My muscles contracted but I gritted my teeth, determined not to scream out again. Again, the misery ended after a few seconds. After a small reprieve before the electricity was switched on again. The voltage had been cranked up even higher, but I was prepared. I still gritted my teeth, keeping all the screams locked inside. This time though, the electricity didn't stop. It just kept going and going, with the voltage increasing.

I couldn't help it. I screamed.

Then colourless dots danced in front of my eyes, obscuring my vision. I felt hot and stuffy as I was released from the grip of the shock at the sound of my scream. I sighed as I lost consciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – ok, just a word of warning... and I swear I'm not in a dark place right now and I'm not this sadistic in real life... does it count if you hurt fictional characters? And I'm definitely not writing from experience here...**

**Anyway, there is a lot of graphic torture in here... a hell of a lot more than the last chapter, so if you cant handle that sort of thing... then, yeah, its probably best if you don't read this...**

**But if you _do_ decide to read this... I put a lot of freaking effort into this! Although it only took a few days – alright, six days – I was working on it pretty much solid until now! So a review or more would be much appreciated!

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**Chapter 8 – punishment**

**Bella's pov**

The trip to the police station had gone well. We didn't think the kidnappers had caught on since we had received no threats or messages indicating that they knew. The police had understood the need for the utmost secrecy and had been visiting Carlisle at the hospital in civilian clothes. We had told them our suspicions about Victoria and James Walker and they had been analysing the evidence for the last few days... it had now been just over a week since we went to the kidnappers' base.

I would soon be able to walk on my leg, in fact, Carlisle said that I could walk on it today, if all went well in his examination. Still, I would take it easy – although it would be a relief to get out of the bed. I wanted to resume getting the post in the mornings, not only because I found the routine comforting, but I wanted to be the first one to see the DVDs. I knew the kidnappers would be fuming... and a little scared, I just hoped they didn't lash out at Edward.

Of course, my pessimistic side thought it would be a good idea to remind me that the likelihood of that happening was _extremely_ slim.

Didn't make me like the idea any more, it just wouldn't be as much of a shock when it happened. I wanted to be the first to find the DVDs because I don't think Esme could bear it if she saw what would most likely be on it, she was so close to breaking as it was. Pretty soon Carlisle would come in and either confirm or deny that I would be fit enough to walk today, fit enough to get the post... I hoped it would be the former. I had been without that small comforting routine for too long.

Sure enough, Carlisle came in not too long later, and pronounced me able to walk. I smiled brightly and went – slowly – to get the post, clutching the banister as I went down the stairs. I went to check the mail and was nearly disappointed not to find a DVD in there. I was almost sure that there would be something... not that I wanted to see Edward in pain or anything, but the DVDs allowed us to confirm that he was indeed, still alive.

I walked back to the house, trying not to let the disappointment show – I was walking again, I should be happy. There wasn't much there, just a letter from the bank and the newspaper. I brought it all back into the house, sitting heavily on the sofa once I got back inside. My leg was aching a bit, but that was all – all in all, pretty good for getting shot a week ago. I spent the rest of the day lounging about, occasionally moving from one room to another, just enough to exercise my leg without pushing the muscle too far.

I went to bed early – half eight, if you must know – and as a result of my early night, got up at around half six in the morning. I made my way downstairs for breakfast, my leg was feeling much better after the long rest. I made myself porridge and poured a generous amount of syrup in to satisfy my sweet tooth. I waited until I knew the post would be delivered and then wandered outside to get it. I knew I was taking this menial task way too seriously, but for some reason I had developed an attachment to Edward... and we all had our little vices to keep us sane.

Then I found it.

It was a package from the kidnappers. It had been ten days, the gap had never been so long... I hoped Edward was hanging in there. I took it inside and, as predicted, there was a DVD... only there was a note attached to it:

_Enjoy the show, bitches!_

This was going to be bad, very bad.

I clutched the case in fear, fear of what was inside and fear of how it would break the family... if it hadn't already broken Edward. I decided that Carlisle, at least, had a right to know what was happening to his son, and then I would leave it to him to decide whether to show it to everyone else or not. I waited for him to wake up at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, letting him go through his morning routine in peace before I disturbed him with the news.

"Carlisle," I began softly, waiting for him to acknowledge me with a hum before proceeding. "They sent another DVD... I think its going to be bad, I think they would have lashed out at him because we went over there... I'm not sure Esme or even anyone else would be able to handle it, they're barely keeping it together as it is."

He sighed and nodded his head, rubbing his temples while leaning his elbows on the table in front of him. He looked incredibly worn, the stress was finally starting to get to him. I felt lucky that I didn't know Edward before this, although he did have a way of reaching out to me from behind the TV screen.

"You don't have to see it if you don't want to either, Carlisle." I told him quietly.

"No... I want to. I... _need_ to see what's happening to him, no matter how painful it might be." I nodded in understanding.

We quietly made our way to his study and locked the door behind us. Carlisle went to retrieve his laptop from his desk and put it on a small table he placed in front of the settee. His hand were shaking as he switched on his laptop and waited for it to boot up.

"Don't worry, Edward's strong. He'll make it through this and come out the other side, still the same person as he was before." I hadn't ever met him, but I knew this was true.

I took the DVD and placed it into the machine and waited for the 'show' to start.

There he was, sitting shirtless – and never more beautiful, although I noticed he had a scrape on his shoulder – behind a tank of ice water... shit. The red head came onto the screen, "We told you not to come looking for us. Tut tut tut... that was very naughty of you, we're gonna have to punish someone. Oh look! The only person we can punish is little Edward here. Poor Edward, he's going to have to take all your punishments for you," her voice turned flat as she continued speaking, "isn't that sweet of him?"

Oh shit. I was right. And Carlisle would be beating himself up over this, I almost asked if he wanted to stop, but I knew where he was coming from when he said he _needed_ to see this. He didn't want to abandon Edward now.

Then Edward was pushed into the water. He struggled and at the last second was allowed to come up for air. His hands were tied behind him, making struggling even more difficult. He was forced into the water over and over again, my heart wrenching with every second he struggled in vain against his captors. After showing an astounding amount of endurance, he finally whispered "Please. Please... no more." At this Carlisle let out a sob.

But his pleading was cruelly ignored and he was dunked into the water one last time. And I wanted to reach through the screen and wring her scrawny little neck, I envisioned the satisfying snap as the bone broke under my fingers... I couldn't understand how someone could ignore his defeated pleas.

When he came up he was coughing water, but they ignored that as they dragged him backwards, the camera staying focused on Edward as they both moved. He was dumped on the floor as his captors went and did something off screen. When they came back, they untied his hands from behind him, only to hang him from the ceiling again and attach some big metal clips to him.

The she-devil came onto the screen again and said, "The water was for you, Carlisle. Now this is for the skank who pushed you out of the way of T's bullet."

This was for me. His scream was for me, seeing him jerk on the chain as he was electrocuted... it was all for me. After a few unbearably long seconds, the current was switched off and he was left trying to catch his breath.

"Did you hear that Carlisle?" demon-girl asked, sneering as she showed her cleavage to the camera, "When you pulled your little stunt the other day, you forced us into this. You. You made your _precious_ son scream in pain."

Then we heard Edward shout from behind her, "How dare you! You think you can blame your sadistic shit on someone else? Or are you too cowardly to own up yourselves?" I almost smiled.

"See," I whispered to Carlisle, "They haven't broken him yet."

"Shut up bitch!" she shouted as she backhanded him.

"He still shouldn't have to endure this, no-one should, no matter how strong they are," he replied lowly.

"True," I sighed sadly just as Edward was beginning to shout back.

"Oh, you can't think of anything to say so you resort to violence? You're the lowest of the low! Was three on one a fair fight? You keep me tied up all the time because you're afraid of me getting out!" he shouted.

Carlisle and me held hands tightly as the she-devil said, "I think we need to turn up the voltage, boys."

We both watched in horror as Edward gritted his teeth against the scream we knew was almost bursting out. Again this torture stopped after a few seconds, allowing Edward to breathe. But the evil bastards in the room with him turned the electricity on again, the voltage even higher. Only this time, there was no reprieve after a few seconds, the shock went on and on, the voltage getting higher and higher... until Edward finally screamed and passed out.

I had tears running down my cheeks as I watched Edward fall to the floor as he was unchained. The clips had been taken off him and my fist was trembling with anger at the way they were treating him. Edward was then hauled off somewhere and the screen went blank for a few seconds before we saw Edward once again chained with his hands above his head.

He was still shirtless but this time, he was able to take all of his weight onto his feet. He was stood blindfolded and, instead of the she-devil-that-may-or-may-not-be-Victoria, a small girl with short, mousy-brown hair was standing behind him.

With a whip.

With a sickening crack, the whip landed on Edward's back. He flinched and grunted, but that was all. He was determined to make this easier on his family by not showing how much pain he was in. I admired him even more than ever, I touched the friendship bracelet on my neck, wondering... _should _I wait for whoever gave me this? The answer was no. I was already falling for Edward, and I couldn't be with someone else if I felt that way, maybe I could find them as a long lost friend or something, I doubted that whoever it was would have waited for me.

The whips kept coming, some on his back, some on his chest. Each time was random to keep the element of surprise. It got to twenty-five before the girl stopped and Edward still hadn't made more sound than a grunt. Then we heard the she-devil's voice, "Do you hate them yet? Its their fault you know."

"No," Edward replied forcefully.

"_Why!_ How can you not hate that baby-killing liar! We'll stop when you tell me you hate them."

The whips continued until number thirty. "Now do you hate the baby-killer?"

"He... didn't... kill... anyone," Edward panted.

I squeezed Carlisle's hand, "See, Edward believes you too," I murmured. He half-smiled and nodded sadly.

"Yes he did! He killed my baby!" Victoria screeched.

"You're crazy... Why should I... believe you?"

"He doesn't care about you, if that's what you think," Edward flinched at that, "'We've seen him with your replacement, they're all getting along fine without you!"

I had never heard a lie so big... it was ludicrous that anyone could ever think that!

"Then why did they come looking for me?"

Victoria screeched again and ordered the whipping to continue, as if he wasn't already covered in blood. The majority of the lashes landed on Edward's back, and I was thankful that we couldn't see it.

After every couple of lashes, Victoria would ask whether he hated us yet... his answer was constantly 'no' and I was almost proud of the amount of faith he had in us.

It got to forty-nine lashes and Edward was trembling as he stood there, his head leaning on his raised arms, tears running down his cheeks and he had started giving little whimpers at each crack of the whip but refused to end his punishment by saying that he hated Carlisle. He wanted Carlisle to know that he still believed in him. Carlisle was full-on sobbing now, and I had my arm around his shoulder, trying to offer him what little comfort I could.

Victoria spoke then, "They say fifty lashes will kill a man... and it is _so_ tempting to see if that's true, an eye for an eye, a son for a son, that's quite fair don't you think?"

Both me and Carlisle held our breaths as Victoria sauntered around him, much like she had on the first day. She stopped and stared at his back, which by now, mush be a horrific criss-cross of bleeding cuts all over his back. She smirked as she reached out to touch him, Edward winced again as her fingers made contact and she withdrew, licking his blood off her fingers.

"I think we'll spare you the last one... After all, we still have one more punishment to go don't we?" Edward shuddered and the camera went blank once again.

The tears were streaming down my face as the screen flickered once again. This was obviously done a few days later thank god, because the gashes on his chest had started healing. The welts had gone down although they were still visible and the smaller cuts had closed up. He had some dressing wrapped around his torso, but it still left a lot of skin bare. However, this time all the filth and grime that had been covering him seemed to have been washed off.

That was one positive in a sea of negatives, one point of light in the blinding darkness.

Edward was laying on a table, his hands and feet bound to each corner and there seemed to be a fire in the room, casting a flickering orange glow over Edward's skin. He was blindfolded again, and I could feel my heart tear, _why wouldn't they let him see?_ He was obviously worrying about what was going to come next... _or would it be better for him not to know? _

I gripped Carlisle's hand tighter in fear and apprehension. I heard a deep chuckle before the man behind him took his cigarette and snuffed it out on Edward's arm.

Edward barely flinched.

"Get on with it!" Victoria snapped.

The man shrugged and walked off-screen. He came back a moment later with a metal poker – you know, the sticks you use to stoke fires – the tip glowing white in the dim room. I gasped as he then dropped the tip onto Edward's shoulder. There was a moment filled with only the sound of sizzling, only a split second really, before the sound of Edward's screams filled the room. He started writhing and thrashing about on the table, struggling against the chains that held him down, the rattling almost drowned out by Edward.

"You know the words Edward, all you have to do is say them!" Victoria shouted, but Edward just shook his head through his suffering.

It was too much for Carlisle. He shot forward and stopped the DVD player before collapsing into a sobbing mess in my arms. I held him, tightly to me, needing the reassurance of a solid, warm body myself. My tears ran down my cheeks and onto Carlisle's shirt I don't think he cared though, just like I didn't care that his tears were soaking my top. I looked at the desolate sky outside the window, just a massive expanse of cold, hard grey. I couldn't take it and buried my head in his shoulder.

We stayed like that for a significant amount of time – I didn't time it – before either of us could gain some measure of composure. I was the first – well, can you blame Carlisle? Edward is his _son. _He may have been adopted but they loved each other as much as any biological family ever could. Once we had gotten ourselves under control, Carlisle turned resolutely back to his laptop and pressed play once again.

Like the electrocution, the poker was only on his skin for a few seconds, about fifteen. That was twenty seconds too long in my opinion. We could hear people laughing at him on the DVD and I swear, if I was there, none of them would be leaving that room without first feeling the burn of that metal poker on _their_ skin. The man then wandered over to the other side of the table, his weapon still glowing a light orange, and dropped it onto Edward's other shoulder.

Edward immediately started screaming again. His back arched off the table in his agony, as he writhed under the burden having to bear that pain. The chains clanked again and we could hear the sick chuckles restart. The man eventually took his weapon off Edward's skin and handed it to someone else who quickly replaced it with another, this one was slightly thicker and was glowing dangerously as it briefly hovered over Edward's body.

Just before the poker dropped, two pairs of hands clamped down on his shoulder. The poker landed high on his arm, at the top of his bicep. The camera moved closer, so we could see past the bodies holding his shoulder down – and probably aggravating the burn that was already there. His fists were clenched as his toes were curled and he had tears running down the sides of his face from under the blindfold. The poker was trailed slowly up Edward's arm, towards the chains holding him down. His head whipped from side to side as he clenched his teeth.

His muscles rippled futilely, trying to move from under the scorch of the hot metal. His skin now glistened with sweat and a trickle of blood was oozing it's way wetly down his chin, from where he had bitten his lip. We watched the poker's almost apathetic progress down his arm. It seemed to take forever until he had reached his wrist and lifted the poker from his skin.

Edward was left panting and crying on the table as the burns on his arm and chest flared up painfully. The blisters were already starting to form. I internally begged for it to be over, _how could he be expected to take any more? Why won't he just say the words, even if he doesn't mean them? _The sight of him laying there helpless was heart wrenching.

The camera moved again to focus on his feet while still keeping the rest of him in view. _This wasn't the end,_ I thought with despair. Both mine and Carlisle's hands were covered in sweat, now, and we were gripping onto each other for dear life.

The same two people that held him down before now grabbed onto his right ankle just as a large, flat piece of metal was pressed against the sole of his foot. He jerked on the table once again. I wanted to close my eyes, but I daren't. I watched through my tears until the metal was taken away and pressed to his other foot. His screams and howls echoed in my ears as I'm sure they did in Carlisle's.

Until he went still and silent.

They took the metal away as Edward once again, passed out. I watched the screen carefully, frantically and was rewarded with the sight of his chest shallowly moving up and down. "Oh, he's breathing," I whispered in relief.

I was glad he had passed out, that he could spend a few moments in blissful unconsciousness. I was glad he could, even momentarily, escape this painful reality.

His feet seemed to be the last of Edward that they planned on burning. Edward still lay motionless on the table, I guess now he couldn't feel it, there was no point carrying on. I hated the way they kept his family worrying like that, I hated the way they could so casually torture him like that, I hated everything about this fucked up situation!

Two of the people in the room left at that point, probably to put away what they had been using, leaving only Victoria with the camera and the person who had been burning Edward. The latter tore off his blind fold, then left, coming back with a bucket of water, which he threw over Edward's head.

Edward woke with a start. It was clear, he felt weak and vulnerable, spread out on the table like that, and I just wished that everything was right in the world. He looked around him suspiciously before his blood-shot and puffy eyes settled on the man looming over him. The man then unshackled Edward's wrists before moving to his blistered feet.

As soon as his wrists were free, Edward sat up, massaging the raw and bleeding skin there. Once his ankles were free, he did the same with them.

"Come on, back to your cell!" the man said gruffly before grabbing Edward's arm and pulling him off the table.

As soon as Edward's feet hit the floor, he collapsed in pain. The burns were preventing him from walking. My heart broke as I watched him crawl out of the room, down the landing and collapse in his cell on a blanket that was spread on the hard, wooden floor, making sure not to lie on any of his burns. The door shut and then screen went blank. I was in shock, still staring at the screen while Carlisle had been sobbing through the end of the video and his wails increased now that his son was no longer in sight.

Then Victoria flashed onto the screen again, Edward was asleep on a wooden floor behind her. There was a grubby blanket and cushion underneath him, and there was some wet material wrapped around his burns. She smirked at the camera before saying, "Lets see how much you love your son, shall we? You have three days to get together twenty thousand... We would have had Edward read this to you, as usual, but he wasn't feeling up to it."

She giggled, before gasping as if she had just remembered something important. "Oh, and each day past that, we'll keep a tally... on Edward."

Finally the DVD was over. Me and Carlisle stayed in his study for an hour before either of us felt able to face the rest of the family.

"But twenty thousand... in three days... that's impossible!" Carlisle lamented.

"No," I said forcefully, turning to face him, "Don't think like that. Now, how much have you got in your savings?"

"Only seven thousand."

"Right, well I'll see what I've got on my card... if I can remember the pin number. I'm sure I can contribute something."

"You would do that for us?" he asked hope and gratitude gleaming in his eyes, "I would never ask this of you under any other circumstances - and I'll be sure to pay you back over time."

I smiled as he gathered me into a huge hug. We then went downstairs where Esme was humming to herself as she dusted the living room. Seth was watching TV while Ben and Angela were missing. Apparently, they were still sleeping, so we decided to tell Esme and Seth anyway.

"We know what the kidnappers want and we have three days to get it..." Esme and Seth looked relieved.

"Wait, wasn't there a DVD this time?" Seth asked.

I looked at Carlisle who nodded with a pained expression, "Yes, I don't advise anyone watching it... but it's in my study, in my laptop," he whispered.

Seth nodded with a determined expression – he was going to watch it, probably for the same reason that Carlisle did, he didn't want to abandon Edward – while Esme started crying. We explained how much the kidnappers wanted and how long we had to get it together, leaving out the consequences of failing for Esme's sake.

After we had finished, Seth came to me and said he wanted to see the DVD, I warned him that no person should ever have to see that happen, let alone endure it. But he insisted so I sat with him, box of tissues at the ready and closed my eyes, gritting my teeth against the sounds that were about to come from the laptop for the second time that day.

**Tanya's pov. **

They were upstairs, whipping him right now.

I didn't want to be a part of this any more. Sure it wasn't so bad in the beginning, but that was when we were just going to watch Carlisle squirm... Edward was an innocent. We were originally going to release him today, but when our hideout was found... I guess it sent Vicky over the edge.

I liked Edward.

There it was, plain and simple; I liked him. I was ok when we weren't doing anything too serious - yeah ok, we were still hurting him. But the electric shocks and the whip... it just made it all the more real in my head, all the more serious. I was antsy as I waited for them to be done, so I went upstairs in our new lair and waited at the top of the stairs for the door at the end of the landing to open. It was about ten minutes later when the door opened and they led him out.

He was shaking and I gasped at the blood dripping down his chest as he was led by his shackled hands back into his cell. He stumbled a few times, even though they were moving slowly. I looked at Vicky, "Are you planning on killing him?" I asked, but couldn't infuse my voice with the appropriate outrage, instead it came out weak and pathetic.

"No, we've got to give him back at the end, apparently," she said while rolling her eyes, "Plus, we've got another punishment to film for Carlisle, if he sees his son is dead then we're not going to be able to get any compensation out of this."

"Perhaps I should, you know, clean him up. I mean, we don't want him dying from infection, or else there's no money at the end," I suggested.

I bit my lip as I waited for her answer, eventually she nodded at me and I turned to go downstairs to get what I would need. I tried not to run and was successful in not provoking any suspicion. I gathered everything I would need and hurried back up the stairs, trying not to attract any suspicion. I opened the door and slipped inside putting my stuff down before locking the door behind me.

I turned and gasped.

Edward's back was in shreds. He was slumped sideways against the wall and the blood that had run down his back was soaking the top of his jeans. I swallowed and kneeled down behind him; he was still blindfolded and I guessed his hands were still bound in front of him.

I hesitantly reached out and brushed my fingers against his shoulder, in a small area that wasn't hurt. I don't think he heard me come in as I could hear small sobs and the occasional sniffling coming from him. He flinched at my touch and pressed himself even further into the wall while wiping his eyes dry and pushing the blindfold up and off his head, with shaking hands. He didn't look at me and guess I couldn't blame him.

"This might sting a little," I whispered, to which he nodded.

I dipped the cloth in the bowl of warm water and, as gently as I could, applied it to his back. He still flinched and hissed at the contact and I couldn't help the tears that sprang to my eyes. I had done this to him. Maybe I didn't do it directly, but I was involved.

I managed to wipe his back clean and I put some antiseptic over his wounds before covering as much as I could with gauze to keep his wounds clean ...And now this was the awkward part.

"Can I clean your chest?" I asked.

He nodded and shuffled around so he could lean against the wall. He reluctantly lowered his legs as if he were lowering his last defence and he let his hands fall to his sides defeatedly. He kept looking at his lap though, so I carried on taking care of him. I know it didn't really make up for what I'd done but if anything helps...

I started the same process on his chest and wrapped a large bandage all the way around him. Once I was finished, I looked at him thoughtfully, before once again getting the wet cloth. But this time I timidly lifted his head a fraction before cleaning his face. Once he was clean I quietly put everything back on the tray I had used to carry it all up.

I stopped once everything was ready and turned back to Edward, "I don't know what else they've got in store for you, but I'll try and delay it as long as possible," I whispered.

"Thank you," was his hoarse reply.

I took a deep breath to compose myself before walking out the door. I went downstairs and put everything away before grabbing one of the large pizzas that had been ordered for tonight, a coke, a cushion and a blanket and taking it upstairs with me. I slept upstairs anyway, so this wasn't anything too unusual.

I unlocked the door and crept in, locking it behind me once again. I turned round to find Edward staring at me curiously...and suspiciously. I spread the blanket on the floor and sat on it with the pizza and coke, I left the cushion towards the other side of the blanket as I opened the pizza box and took a slice and started eating to show we hadn't put anything funny in it. I looked up to find Edward staring at the pizza so I nudged it towards him.

He looked up at me in surprise before cautiously coming forwards, onto the blanket and took a slice of pizza. It was a large pizza so I was fine with only three slices while I let Edward have the rest. He also drank most of the coke.

"Thank you," he said again – much less hoarsely this time – after he had finished.

I nodded and got up, taking the evidence with me as I left, I didn't want to think about what would happen if Vicky found out. But I left the blanket and the cushion in there, it wouldn't be too bad if Vicky didn't like it.

I managed to delay them for six days, Edwards wounds had somewhat healed by then, although they still had a way to go before healing completely. It was also likely that he would have scars from this, maybe not on his chest, but on his back, definitely.

Over the last six days, I'd been able to sneak Edward some decent dinner, although Vicky still insisted on minimal food each day, just a hunk of dry bread and some water. Every night I would get a large meal for myself and take it upstairs, to share with Edward. I would sit and eat with him, and then go to where I usually slept and toy with my phone, looking busy for when someone came up. My excuse was that I missed my sister, who I lived with. Nothing much was ever said between me and Edward in these meal times, apart from a quiet 'thank you' as I was leaving.

But I could hold them off no more, and now they had Edward upstairs, about to give him his final torture... before they send the DVD. I hoped it was his final torture ever, but knowing Vicky, it probably wouldn't be. I turned to Laurent, sitting next to me and wondered if he thought this was crossing the line as well, he was sitting there, pale as a sheet.

I whispered to him, "Don't you think they're going a little overboard, here?" I asked, just in case he was all for torturing Edward and was pale for a completely different reason.

He looked at me for a moment before nodding slowly, his eyes darting to the ceiling before he shudders and looked back at his twiddling thumbs.

It was then that the screams started, such agonised screams... I visibly blanched and stared at my own hands, wringing themselves desperately. Then it was over, I took a deep breath and tried to brace myself for when the screams would surely start again.

"What are they doing to him?" I asked, horrified.

"Burning him," Laurent whispered, "With hot metal."

I almost threw up there and then. Victoria was one crazy bitch and I suddenly knew I was in too deep.

I waited through the screams until Bree and Felix came downstairs. I quickly got what I needed and went to his room. I tried to remain stoic as Edward crawled around the door before carefully rolling onto his back. I looked at the burns on his chest and arm but remained still until the door had slammed shut.

As soon as they were gone, I dropped to my knees and placed the cold cloth over the burn in the right side of his chest before ripping some of the material from my top - I had plenty to spare - and dipping that in the cold water and placing them on his other two burns.

"Does anything else hurt?" I asked, quietly as Edward's eyes were flickering shut. I ran my hands through his hair that was beginning to get a little greasy, now.

"My... feet," he mumbled as he drifted off.

I looked at his feet, then back at him, finding nothing on his feet that would indicate he was hurt. But I shuffled over there anyway, with my bowl of cold water and soon found what he meant on the soles of his feet... no wonder he was crawling. I quickly wrapped his feet in the cold, wet material and left. Vicky was going to get Edward to read the ransom note tomorrow but I had heard her complain that she couldn't wait that long.

I heard them go into his room a few minutes after I had left, I hoped they wouldn't wake him up. No matter how much we all hate Carlisle, Edward was innocent, he didn't deserve any of this. _No-one_ deserved any of this. I sat on the makeshift bed and wept for him.

Once everyone else had gone to sleep, I silently got up and crept to Edward's cell. I softly walked over to him and stroked his hair, I lifted his head onto my lap and let my fingers wander over his face. Maybe it was shallow of me, but I thanked the heavens that they hadn't touched his face, he was still the best looking guy on the planet. I felt so sorry for him and so disgusted with myself, with everyone here, I couldn't hep the tears as they over flowed my eyes again.

I tried to keep my cries quiet, but they were a little hard to control. I was thankful he didn't wake up, he needed his sleep, and tomorrow I was going to get some burn cream for him, then I would find more excuses to bring food up here. I was gonna help him... and, by extension, his family.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – reunion **

**Vicki's pov**

"That little _bitch!"_ I shouted as I listened to what Felix and Demetri were telling me.

"I'm afraid so," said Demetri.

I huffed and sat down heavily on the chair, Felix looked a little scared but not Demetri... oh well. I had set three days as the challenge because I was sure I would be able to carve into Edward how many days his _'parents'_ kept him waiting in this hell-hole. I wanted to scar him so that Carlisle would see it everyday and be reminded of this, but then Tanya had to go and feel sorry for the poor sod. She couldn't be part of any plans to prolong Edward's stay here; she would only sabotage us.

I rubbed circles into my temples, leaning my elbows on the dank table. If _Jezebel _was giving them money, how could I carve the tally into Edward? Apparently, that was only half the money they needed, and she would get the rest tomorrow, before they had to drop the money off.

We needed to stop her from doing that...

By whatever means necessary.

I felt anger boil up inside of me, my hands itched to strangle someone, so I picked up the nearest object and threw it with as much force as I could across the room – I was pleased to notice the small hole in the wall I left, but it was a sufficient distraction. Apparently, everyone else thought killing her was going a bit too far – god knows why – so we settled on kidnapping her like we did Edward... Maybe she could be the co-star in our little videos, that would be fun. We could play a few little games with them!

The only part about this that annoyed me, was that I would have to wait... And I _really_ hate waiting!

"Watch the house, watch _her. _Whenever she next leaves the house, grab her. Make sure that you do it on the first go, I don't care how many it takes, _don't let her get the money to Carlisle._" I commanded them, "I don't care if there's someone with her, knock them out, tie them up, _I don't care._ Just get me the girl."

Felix squeaked out a small yes and practically ran out the door, while Demetri – as calm and collected as ever – just nodded his head and strolled out the door. I narrowed my eyes at him as he left, aggravated that he didn't fear me like Felix did. Shame that.

**Bella's pov**

"You don't understand! There _can't _be _any_ evidence _whatsoever_ of police help in this, or god knows _what_ they'll do to him next!" Esme sobbed.

Here we were, in Carlisle's office, arguing with the police. Luckily they had come in today – they met with Carlisle here every other day – and me and Esme had come in to see how we could get the police to help. Of course they had the resources to get twenty thousand... although to get such a big sum of money, there was a lot of paper work. The most they could get at short notice was seven thousand.

"So how do you propose we get the money to you?" the officer on the left asked.

After a brief pause, I found myself speaking, "Why don't you set up an account for me? ...And then I can go take the money out. The kidnappers probably know how much Carlisle has, but they know nothing about me, I could be a millionaire for all they know."

Carlisle and Esme looked at the police officer in expectant hope. He reluctantly nodded and sighed, "Sure, I guess we can set that up. Just give us until three tomorrow, then you can collect the first payment and then you can come back at the same time the next day. He then told us he would have a card and pin number ready for me by the end of Carlisle's shift.

Me and Esme went home then and relayed to Seth, Ben and Angela what had transpired at the hospital, then we all hung about waiting for Carlisle to come home, with my card and pin number. Needless to say, it felt like I was waiting an eternity for Carlisle's shift to end.

Nothing much happened, we were all restless, just waiting for when we could finally bring Edward home. I wondered what state he would be in once we finally got him home. I fiddled with the bracelet that I kept around my neck – it had become habit now, think fiddling with it while it was around my wrist must have been habit before...

Carlisle came home and I immediately memorised both the pin number and the way to the cash machine. I sat at the table waiting a little before venturing out myself, to make my excursion seem more random, and fingering the small piece of paper from the DVD case, telling us where to go when we had the money. I glanced at the clock and decided I would leave in five minutes.

The trip went well and we almost had the money, just one more day and then we would have it. One more day and then we would have Edward. Everyone was on edge, always restless always desperately wishing time would move faster. I wondered if Edward realised how much he was missed, how hard it was for them to carry on while he was missing, how much he was loved. I wondered if he returned that love... of course he did or else he wouldn't work half as hard as he did to keep quiet and spare his parents as much pain as he could.

"Tell me about him?" I asked Esme, partially to distract her, partially because, although I had a pretty good idea of Edward's character, most of what I knew was fragmented and from guesswork and speculation, I was curious about the guy I had been working so hard with this family to save... I was curious about the man I had been falling for over the last few weeks.

Esme smiled softly at me, "He was the sweetest boy when we brought him home... he still is such a sweet boy. He's wonderful on the piano, I know from the pictures around here that it's obvious he likes playing, but he's so talented, he even composes wonderful pieces himself sometimes."

Esme shifted so her whole body was facing me, "He's very kind and loyal, a friend of Edward is a friend for life, he only has a few but they're good friends as you've seen and I feel privileged that he took to calling me 'mum' so quickly, he was seven when we adopted him. He's also a very moral person, he'll stand up for anyone who he thinks is being treated unfairly. He's often too hard on himself but he's so good and so bright... He's beautiful Bells. You'll adore him when you meet him."

I smiled quietly at her, of course I was already adoring him. I rested my head on the back of the sofa but then Seth joined in, "He's awesomely funny as well."

The rest of the night was spent telling stories and anecdotes about Edward and the ten years he'd spent with Carlisle and Esme and the four years he'd spent with Ben, Seth and Angela in Forks. It was nice, heart warming. For once everyone was relaxed and having fun, no-one felt so guilty about laughing – I think the fact that we were so close to getting him back helped – and for a few moments, it felt like he was there and everything was right in the world...

Until Esme broke down into tears, saying she even missed reprimanding him for his language, she missed having to yank the covers off Edward just to get him up and the sleepy way he would stretch and look innocently at Esme once she had done that. We went to bed not long after.

The next day I woke up feeling focused. Nothing was going to stop us from getting Edward back, today he would be free. It was only that thought that kept me going until I went to get the rest of the ransom money.

**Edward's pov**

I didn't know why Tanya was being so nice to me – she told me her name once, when she had brought the real food up – she was there when I woke up, just sitting there and looking at me. Then I noticed she had the burn cream in her hand, I looked at it, then back at her before returning my stare to the cream again. I still didn't fully trust her, and for some reason that kept me from speaking to her much. I only said 'thank you', because – despite the fact that she had been quite enthusiastic about the kidnapping earlier – she was now going against their leader and helping me... and it was polite.

"Would you let me put this on your burns?" she asked quietly.

I nodded and held out my arm to her, where the longest and most fucking painful burn was. Now that I was awake, I could really feel my injuries. "How long was I asleep for?" I asked out of pure curiosity, wondering how she had time to go get the stuff.

"About thirteen hours... I had to go get this early so I could pass it off as getting _womanly _stuff – but I had to buy that too or else no-one would have been fooled – and Edward..." the way she trailed off made me look at her, "I want to help you," she said, completely sincere.

"Why? Why now? Why are you even part of this shit in the first place?" I asked accusingly. It may seem a little harsh, especially when she was – _now_ – trying to hep me... but I believed I had a right to my anger.

Tanya sighed, "I was part of this because of Carlisle... for a remarkably good man, he has a lot of enemies. Anyway, he broke my heart when he chose Esme over me, I suppose I was taking the old saying '_hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'_ a little too far... and I'm doing this – _now_ – because I got carried away before, I was so focused on hurting Carlisle like he hurt me... I didn't think about the other people involved... but then it got more serious and I could see clearly that I was wrong and I was hurting you, too much. And I was hurting probably a million other people too, you're just too nice not to have a load of people at your back. And I want to help you, to stop this from continuing and to make up in some small way for the way I was before."

"...I don't actually have that many friends," I corrected her, sounding like I was confessing a sad weakness.

"But they care about you so much. We've been watching your house and you are missed _so much_... Plus, I've seen the effect you have on women, you have _everyone _after you. And let me tell you, the guys only hate you because it's so much easier to be jealous of you than to face their own shortcomings. You're like the perfect guy Edward..."

I scoffed, "Apart from the swearing and being lazy and bossy and defiant and being a sucker for guilt trips, and the list goes on..."

After a pause Tanya replied, "Some women find swearing hot."

She said it so matter-of-factly that I had to laugh. _Ok so the swearing may not be _such_ a bad thing then... _

By now Tanya was onto my feet, and somewhere in the last five minutes, I had started trusting her... a little. "How much longer are they gonna keep me here?" I asked quietly, and then, in a whisper, I asked the question that had been on my mind for some time, "Are they even planning on letting me go?"

"Carlisle and Esme were given three days to gather twenty thousand. For every day they go over that limit, Vicky's gonna keep a tally... on you," I gulped as what she said sank in, "Can I see your back?"

I nodded as I turned around, going back to being mute as the fear and pain went through me, _again._ Fucking hell. I could tell Tanya was trying to be gentle and make it as painless as possible as she was pulling the gauze off, but that shit fucking _hurt._ Still. Of course it may seem petty or inconsequential in light of recent events, but I had just become better at handling the pain, it didn't mean I no longer felt the little things.

Tanya hissed as she revealed my mottled back – I could still feel the swelling in places – and I was sure the colouring couldn't be much better. But Tanya said the she couldn't see any signs of infection, although I wasn't sure how good Tanya was at medicine and shit like this. She ran her delightfully cold fingers lightly over some of the flesh, "Do you want a shower?"

"I've been wanting a shower for about two fucking weeks." I growled... _playfully_. I almost couldn't believe it.

"Wait here," I could hear the small smile in her voice.

She left, leaving my back exposed and I shivered a little before sinking back into thoughts of home and that damn elusive ending to the tune in my head. I wondered whether Carlisle and Esme had gotten the DVD yet; if they had, had they watched it? I didn't know what to think about them – or _anyone_ – seeing those DVDs. It creeped me out. I don't know exactly _what_ about the DVDs made me so creeped out, maybe it was the fact that I was so exposed in them, maybe it was the fact that I was so helpless, so _weak_.

I wasn't one of those dickheads who always had to prove their masculinity and... _macho-ness... _but this was extremely emasculating.

But now Tanya was back. And I was going to have a shower... _thank fuck. _

Tanya led me to the bathroom, where the shower was already running. "I also got some new jeans and... stuff, for you." she said, strangely timidly; why she would be timid, I have no clue.

I smiled at her gratefully and thanked her as I took the clothes and towel off her. Then she fidgeted nervously, "What?" I asked.

"Ermm," she started uncomfortably, "Well, I managed to convince Vicky to let you have a shower, but umm she said I had to stay in here and watch you while you have a shower – not like that! She just doesn't want you to try anything, I wont look I promise!" she said hurriedly while looking down.

Immediately, I was suspicious. I remembered when she tried to kiss me, _was that what she was trying to do again? _But her embarrassment and discomfort suggested that she wasn't planning something. As if to prove her point, Tanya turned around to face the door and sat down. I gave her back a long, hard look before undressing. I made sure to keep the towel within easy reach and tried to shower as quickly as possible.

Tanya was true to her word and didn't peak – that I could see – and when I got out and got the new _clean_ jeans on, I felt like an actual person again. But then Tanya had to redress my back. She gingerly patted it dry and started putting more antiseptic cream on it before covering it with more gauze. Since my chest wasn't so bad, it didn't need any more gauze on it, but I could still see some of the marks across my – now _deathly_ pale – skin. I idly wondered if they'd be there forever... I hoped not, I could do without a daily reminder of this place.

_If my chest doesn't scar, then my back certainly will..._ at least I wouldn't have to look at my back everyday. _But then again, I would still have the burn scars..._

I sighed and pulled the t-shirt over my head once Tanya had finished. I turned and faced her, feeling better and more confident now that I was fully dressed. She smiled weakly at me. "I don't think you really need more gauze on your back – especially with the t-shirt – but this place is really dirty and some of the cuts haven't closed up completely yet like the ones on your front have done."

I nodded, not looking forward to going back to my cell. Tanya noticed this and tried to cheer me up, "It's only for three more days."

"Until they start hacking into me again. I know Carlisle's rich, but he's not rich enough to get twenty thousand in three days."

"Listen, Edward. What they said about Carlisle, about him killing a baby, it's not true. Their baby did die, but there was nothing Carlisle could've done, they even tried suing him but it fell through because it wasn't your dad's fault," she said looking straight into my eyes, as if she were willing me to believe her.

"I know," I said quietly. I was ashamed to admit that I had let them plant a seed of doubt in my head, but thankfully, I had weeded it out pretty quickly.

As we settled back into my cell, Tanya started speaking again, "Believe me, I wanna help you, I just don't know how. I mean, I've thought of just phoning your home, but then they would come after you like last time and we all know how well that turned out. Plus, its not like they could call the police for backup, Vicky's told them not to call the police and I don't think they would risk that considering what's just happened."

I sighed, "There's not much that can be done, unless you happen to have a spare twenty grand that you're willing to part with?" I looked up at her with my eyebrow raised, comforted by the knowledge that my sense of sarcasm was just as good as ever.

"All we can do is hope and pray," Tanya agreed.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm an atheist," I grunted. Tanya looked at me disbelievingly, so I explained myself, "How can you believe in a god that is so arrogant and needy? And a sexist homophobic no less?" Tanya opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off, "Seriously, he expects everyone to worship him and serve him, unconditionally, despite any shit he might throw at them, denies the existence of any other gods and bans the worship of anything else. And considers it a sin for two men to be together, how can a god like that be _benevolent_? - and don't give me that 'god works in mysterious ways' shit. That's just something someone made up as a get-out-of-awkward-questions-free card."

Tanya shrugged, "Did something happen to make you loose your faith?"

"I do have faith, I just choose to place it in people rather than a god who demands that you believe in him before you are allowed into heaven. Tell me, who is more deserving of getting into heaven? The Christian who steals and cheats and hurts people, or the good, hard-working man who doesn't believe in god? If he is so forgiving, why can't he forgive the people who don't believe in him? I put my faith in Carlisle who I _know_ didn't kill anyone, I have faith that he and my friends will try their best to get the money as quickly as possible, I have faith that I will get out of here eventually." I was surprised how true the last one sounded, of course, thinking about the alternative was just too horrible to imagine.

"I suppose you have a point there, but it's the man's choice to believe in god, if he turns away from god why should he go to heaven? And as for the Christian, the bible clearly says that Jesus died to save our sins."

"Oh please, the bible doesn't know shit! The bible says that Jesus was born in December but he was born in October, the early Christian settlers just moved everything around in the bible and made stuff up to make the religion more attractive to the pagans in England. And we can actually prove that dinosaurs existed and evolution happened, which directly contradicts the creation story. For a guide on how to live your life right, the bible is stupidly confusing."

Tanya left then, saying it would be suspicious if she stayed here, with me for too long – I started to wonder how much of the reason was our differences in belief. I sighed and slumped against the wall, irrationally disappointed the Tanya had to go, but I suppose that nineteen days of minimal human contact – most of the contact being extremely painful – will do that to you.

Without the distraction, my thoughts took a darker turn. _Why Carlisle? Why me? Why this fucked up situation? _I wondered when I would be getting out, no doubt Carlisle would organise the money, but how long would that take? And at what cost? My mind jumped from bizarre situation to bizarre situation, imagining how they would get the money... I shuddered, I would never be able to look at a cat in the same way again.

At least I was guaranteed three days of peace, it wasn't much but it would be better than the alternative, _so why was I dreading it? _Don't get me wrong,I was dreading the days after that even more – but I was also dreading the coming three days... There's a point, when does the three days start? Does today count? I wanted it not to, but it probably did – things just don't work the way you want them when you're at the mercy of a fucking psycho... or a whole group of psychos... When that happens you know you're in the shit.

I hated that there was no window window in this room. Well, there _was_ a window – it was just boarded up. There was no tiny rays of white light seeping through the cracks, the musty room was lit only by a dingy lamp hanging from the ceiling. It kind of reminded me of a world war two bunker... of course that _really _helped my morale.

Suddenly, the faces of my family ran through my head – they had a frustrating habit of doing that – making me miss them even more. I never really got homesick before, even when I went to that camp for four weeks, but now after only nineteen days I was so homesick, it was bordering on physical.

I was so close to freedom, tantalisingly close – I could sense it in my bones. But it was just ever so _slightly_ beyond reach... it was enough to drive me crazy.

I tugged harshly at my hair, frustrated that the end was so close yet so far, annoyed that I couldn't even hate Tanya now, and furious that I was even here. I was so angry all of a sudden. I wanted to punch something but the only thing soft enough was the fucking pillow!

So I punched the shit out of it anyway.

I know I cried a bit and shouted and screamed, and my hands were sore by the end of it – but other than that, I had no idea what went on in my rage. At least I didn't ruin the pillow. I had left myself exhausted and I had very little problems getting to sleep right then, I couldn't even be bothered to wait for Tanya if she was bringing food.

I slept... not _well_, but I slept for a fucking long time. For the second morning in a row, I woke up to Tanya sitting across the room, just staring at me. It was a little freaky to be honest. She had brought me food, fucking mountains of the stuff – compared to what I had been getting recently. I had assumed that half – or at least a portion – of the food was for her, but apparently not. So I scoffed the lot, forgetting my manners only a little.

Tanya reapplied the burn cream and redressed my back quietly. Telling me to get some rest today instead of beating the shit out of my pillow as she smirked and walked out the door. I glared after her, not finding what she said anywhere close to being funny – but not having the energy to really care about it. So I sat back against the wall and drifted off into daydreams about what I would do when I finally got out of here.

Eventually I went to sleep again, it must have been early because Tanya didn't come up with food – unless... I didn't really want to think about that so I decided I would start worrying if she wasn't there in the morning.

Thankfully, I woke up to the sound of Tanya coming through the door to my cell. "Glad to see you took my advice about the resting."

I shrugged, "It was good advice."

She set the food on the ground and moved over to me with the burn cream. I sighed and took my T-shirt off so she could access my wounds. She set about applying the burn cream and checking my back for infections and devoured the food in front of me.

Tanya eventually walked out the room with the evidence of my feast and left me to my own devices again. Today was the day, the last day of being pain free... well, that's a lie; the burns and my back had been causing me plenty of grief.

I sighed as I slumped further against the wall, my thoughts drifting to my family and friends. _I don't blame you for not being rich enough, or quick enough. I forgive you for not coming up with the money today. I hope you're safe, I hope you haven't worried yourselves sick... I hope you don't blame yourselves._

The door opened abruptly and I rushed to stand. This wasn't Tanya and I wouldn't take any shit they threw at me sitting down now that I wasn't chained to the wall. I would struggle as I usually did. But once the gap was big enough, a figure, bound and with a bag over her head fell through the door.

I caught her as she fell on me, grunting as my back hit the floor. Once I had recovered I pulled the bag off her head and came face to face with Bella. "Bella?" I breathed; just to make sure.

"Edward?" she looked at me confused and dazed.

I suddenly remembered that we were laying on the floor while her hands were tied behind her back. I arranged us so that she was kneeling and I moved behind her to untie her hands. My eyes refusing to ignore her bare wrists. Once I had her hands free, I was almost afraid to look at her. I stayed crouched behind her as she turned and faced me.

"Edward... _Masen?_" she asked incredulously.

I nodded mutely and looked at her apprehensively. Bella looked – for some reason – incredibly relieved by that. I looked at her questioningly, cocking my head to one side and hoping she would answer.

"Oh," she reached into her top and pulled out her necklace – with the bracelet to match mine hanging from it – and showed it to me, marvelling at it just as I was.

"I woke up in hospital with amnesia a few weeks ago, the only thing from my past that I could remember was that this was important to me. I couldn't really remember who gave it to me, except that we were going to wait for each other. But then Carlisle and Esme took me in... _and then you got kidnapped_. Your family and friends were a mess, I didn't know who you were but I ended up taking charge of the house, since I was the only one capable of doing it. Then the DVDs came and I watched you – I hope you don't mind," I shook my head, keeping it resting on my arms folded across my knees and motioned for her to continue, my need to hear the story overpowering the slight creep factor, "And to started falling for you and it was so confusing because I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions. But now I'm not!" she finished unreasonably happy.

Mind you, I was grinning like a goddamn loon at the fact that she fell for me... fucking _twice._

"You know, you're still the only girl I've kissed... _willingly_," I tacked on the end, remembering the incident with Tanya.

"Willingly?" she asked ominously. I felt like I was eight again, all the years between us just melting away. I nodded, wondering if she was going to be upset with me.

"Who?"

"Tanya. Erm, she kinda forced herself on me when I first got here – but I didn't kiss her back or anything, I swear!"

Bella shuffled closer to me – still on her knees. Her hands reached out a little, but her expression was still unreadable – it made me nervous. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" she asked, pausing in mid-air.

"I'm sorry I abandoned you all those years ago, I'm sorry I never kept in touch, I'm sorry I never made an effort to find you, I'm sorry Tanya kissed me! I'm sorry for everything," the words came tumbling out my mouth.

"Shh Edward," Bella soothed, leaning forward and rubbing my arms relaxingly. I bit my lip and nodded, exhaling through my nose. "You know, I can't believe you kept that bracelet," she said conversationally.

I blushed a little, "I never take it off."

"Neither do I."

"You don't blush any more," I said watching her face carefully. Admittedly I was a bit disappointed, I quite missed her blush now I had noticed its absence.

She blushed now, and I lowered my legs and arms so that nothing was in between us. I leaned forward looking at her lips, daring to do what I never thought I would get the opportunity to experience again.

I kissed her.

And she responded, and it was beautiful. This wasn't like the last time we kissed, and it wasn't like when Tanya kissed me. This was passion and tongue and need. This was lust and hands and desire. This was love. Lasting from the age of six.

Then we broke apart. I was breathing heavily, my pulse was racing and I felt like I had just experienced heaven... but the best part was that Bella was grinning wildly too. We sat like that for a few moments before Bella's face took on a businesslike expression. I felt the need apologise again as she surveyed the room in obvious disgust.

"Come on," she said as she hopped to her feet, turning to hold a hand out to me.

"What?" I asked completely nonplussed.

She rolled her eyes, "We've got to find a way out of here, obviously."

"And just how are we going to do that? If we pull the boards off the window – which will be noisy and alert them to what we're doing – we still have to jump out of the second story window and if we go out that door we have about five or six thugs to get through."

Bella's face fell, "But they'll cut you up even more if we're not out of here by tomorrow."

She slowly sat down next to me, disappointment and sorrow radiating from her. "Shh," I whispered pulling her into my lap and holding her close to me.

Her fingers lightly traced the shape my burn that ran down my arm, her fingers gently grazing the uninjured skin around it. Then she whispered softly to me, "They all miss you terribly, you know? It was like they could barely function while you were missing, they were so miserable without you." I clenched my eyes shut and rested my head on her shoulder, this was exactly what I was hoping hadn't happened, them all in pain, worrying too much about me...

But a small part of me was warmed by the fact that they had missed me.

"I saw the last DVD of you, I watched it with Carlisle... you should've seen him Edward, he was so broken seeing you in pain. It'll break their hearts if you don't get out of here today or tonight," she turned round to look at me, both of us having matching tears on our cheeks, and matching sadness in our eyes.

I gathered her up in my arms and nodded against her neck, further burying my face in her hair. "I'll agree to try, but we need to think about it first or else everything will be made worse if they catch us."

Bella nodded and we stayed still for a while longer, enjoying each other and our reunion for as long as we could before we would have to move.

* * *

**A/N - No disrespect to any devout Christians out there who would take offence at Edward's opinion!**

**Oh and I'm not sure how many chapters there are left of this story, it all depends on whether Bella and Edward actually break out or if they get caught and what happens when they are finally out of that hell hole.**

**review with your thoughts _please!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N – well, hello there! Really sorry about the wait and I hope the length of this makes up for the delay. I just have to work on my other stories now before people boycott them in protest of how long its taking me to update... for some reason I just _can't _write fluff! **

**It's extremely frustrating. No, really – it's almost suicide-inducing!**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – reunion... part two**

**Bella's pov **

As I was walking to the ATM machine, I kept getting this feeling that I was being followed – the feeling in my gut was so strong and steadily getting stronger... but this was Forks. Why in the hell would anyone in _Forks_ want to follow _me_?

Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed me from behind, one clamping down on my mouth and the other snaking around my waist; my instinctive scream was muffled but other instincts were now kicking in. I threw my head back, into the nose of my attacker and breaking it before stamping on his foot and elbowing him in the ribs then breaking into a sprint down the street; I found myself believing that I could get away, that if I could run fast enough for long enough, that they would give up – I found myself hoping for this, almost _expecting_ it to happen.

And for a moment it was real...

Until another man appeared at the end of the street. I was running too fast to stop so I tried to swerve around him but he intercepted me, his huge mass – and height – allowing him to stay put against my momentum as he grabbed my arm in his big, calloused hand; I twisted out of his grip but he just recaptured my arm, securing it with both of his hands. Other men encroached then and I frantically started kicking at my captor's groin, trying to escape before I was _inescapably_ trapped. The instinct to fight was now pulsing strongly through my veins.

I managed to break free, but three other men – including the one I had broken the nose of earlier – descended around me. I elbowed one of them in the face as I raced past but suddenly both my arms were caught in hard, unyielding grips; I screamed again but my throat was dry at this point and it came out like a strangled cry. I was forced to the ground, pinned down as they tied my hands behind my back, gagged me and tugged a scratchy sack over my head.

They tried walking me to wherever they were going – probably their getaway vehicle – but I kicked and struggled still... so one of them grabbed my legs and the three of them – with another of them leading the way – carried me to their car. I was stuffed in the boot – which smelled faintly of BO – and then they drove.

They drove for only fifteen minutes and all the time staying at roughly thirty miles-per-hour – both being sure signs that I hadn't been taken out of Forks – before I was hauled out of the car. I was manhandled up an uneven path, into a house – or something of that nature – and up a flight of stairs until I was thrust into a room.

I landed on something... softer than the floor, which fell back under me with a grunt. The bag was then lifted off my head and I found myself looking into two incredibly gorgeous, jade eyes. Eyes that were incredibly moving in their expressiveness. Eyes that I had been obsessing over for almost as long as I could remember – which wasn't really saying much but you get the general idea, right?

"Bella?" Edward breathed, his angelic face somehow showing recognition... _was my face showing attraction?_ I instantly felt the familiar guilt creep upon me.

"Edward," I said. Abruptly I felt the crushing weight of repressed memories bearing down upon me, trying to break through the dam of my amnesia that was trying – successfully up until this point – to hold them back.

My eyes ran over his form, his muscles – defined and sharp before he was kidnapped – had shrunk and softened only slightly in the three weeks he had been held captive; I could still make out their shape through the T-shirt he wore, his face – mercifully untouched by the cruel hands of his captors – was looking down at me in surprise and wonderment, his hands – pleasantly large and calloused with long fingers – were wrapped around my waist, his chest rose and fell below me. I saw something change in his face but I couldn't process what was going on around me as my memories came crashing back down on me like a skyscraper... _and those things are huge!_

I was relieved. Really, really, _overwhelmingly _relieved.

I know it sounds strange, especially coming from a spy, but it was true. There wasn't some mystery guy waiting for me in some random city with a futile hope of being with me, I wasn't going to have to chose between them. The person who had captured my heart, both then and now – the person who had earned my respect like no other, both then and now – was laying underneath me in a dank, grimy room that wasn't fit for a dog. Or a rat. Or the pestilent-infected fleas on a rat. Or... _I could go on all day here. _

Edward gently manoeuvred us until I was on my knees and he was crouched behind me, untying my hands. All my training in espionage had completely gone out the window as I turned and looked into his apprehensive face. The revelation hit me hard; he seemed to remember me... _could_ he? Could he recognise the mature face of a child he hadn't seen in nearly nine years? It was a pretty big ask; and I was slightly hesitant to make it.

I decided to make sure he was in fact the child that I had loved when I was little before I could hope for him to remember me... or before I said or did anything embarrassing, "Edward... _Masen_?"

He nodded and I could finally enjoy the relief I felt earlier. Edward looked confused so I explained to him my dilemma – pathetic compared to what he had gone through I know, but I told him anyway – over the last three weeks... Oh god; Alice is going to be so fucking worried about me – I wouldn't put it past her to actually come here herself, possibly dragging the others along too... oh shit was I in trouble.

I pushed all unpleasant thoughts about Alice and the outside world out of my mind and decided to concentrate on Edward, not letting my happiness slip from my grasp. He made it easy, grinning at me like he had just received the world's best present... _ever_.

Edward then blurted out randomly, "You know, you're still the only girl I've kissed," he paused then warily added on the end, "..._willingly._"

"Willingly?" I asked, abruptly furious that someone had taken advantage of him. He was innocent and I would not stand idly by when that had been forcibly ripped away from him. People would definitely pay and I would make damn sure of it. This was an issue with me even with strangers, but the strength of my reaction and my resentment still surprised me.

He only nodded. "Who?" I asked – nearly growled – my thoughts jumping to my next target, and the most painful methods I could use to take her out. _Heads would roll..._

"Tanya. Erm, she kinda forced herself on me when I first got here – but I didn't kiss her back or anything, I swear!" Shit, Edward thought I was angry at him! I reached out to assure him that I wasn't, but he shouted out defensively, "I'm sorry!" ...It was heart wrenching.

I asked what he was sorry about – because, lets be honest, what the hell did he have to be sorry about? – and he told me he felt guilty about almost everything. He shouldn't. So I comforted him, rubbing his arms until I noticed the old, worn friendship bracelet around his wrist.

He blushed a little, "I never take it off."

"Neither do I," I smiled softly – and hopefully reassuringly – at him.

"You don't blush any more," he said, disappointment deeply concealed in his tone – but I, who knew him so well and had been trained as a spy, could sense it. So, I allowed myself to blush then; he seemed to be noticing almost everything about me. As a spy, I should have been nervous and alarmed – but as a nineteen year old girl... I was over the freaking moon.

Edward shifted so he was leaning towards me, I knew he what was going to do – I was quite adept at reading body language – and prayed we wouldn't be interrupted... and that it would be how I had fantasised it would be – both with Edward and the mystery boy from my childhood.

He kissed me.

And it was even better than my fantasies, _so_ much better. Words could be used in an attempt to describe it, but there was nothing like actually feeling your true love's lips on your own in a passionate embrace. It was the epitome of romance and truly undefinable.

We broke apart, both grinning broadly. _Thank god Edward liked it as much as I did!_ But not even the bliss of kissing Edward could keep out the reality of where we were and what condition he was in. We needed to get out of here; I adored his family and couldn't put them through any more heartbreak, but more importantly, Edward's well-being and happiness was on the line. He couldn't go through any more pain. He just couldn't.

"Come on," I said, as I hopped up to my feet and turned to hold a hand out to him.

"What?" he looked completely nonplussed, it would have been funny... if it wasn't for the situation we were in. Just thinking about it made me unbelievably angry.

In an attempt to subdue my anger I feigned slight annoyance and rolled my eyes and answered his unspoken question, "We've got to find a way out of here, obviously." _How could he not see that?_

"And just how are we going to do that? If we pull the boards off the window – which will be noisy and alert them to what we're doing – we still have to jump out of the second story window and if we go out that door we have about five or six thugs to get through."

I felt my face fall, "But they'll cut you up even more if we're not out of here by tomorrow." I couldn't bear the thought of that happening to him... _again._

I slowly sank to the ground next to him, despondently. "Shh," he whispered pulling me into his lap and hugging me tightly. It mad me feel bad, now that _he_ was comforting _me_.

I traced the burn on his arm, careful not to touch the sensitive skin, "They all miss you terribly, you know? It was like they could barely function while you were missing, they were so miserable without you." I told him what I had witnessed and he rested his head on my shoulder. "I saw the last DVD of you, I watched it with Carlisle... you should've seen him Edward, he was so broken seeing you in pain. It'll break their hearts if you don't get out of here today or tonight."

I turned round to look at him, both of us having matching tears on our cheeks, and matching sadness in our eyes. He felt bad that his pain was hurting others, more so than he cared about himself... The universe is a seriously fucked up place if people like Edward are made to suffer so horribly. These people were sick and disgusting, I couldn't wait to get my hands on them, I would make them each suffer as Edward and his family had. Call it karma if you will...

He gathered me up in his arms and nodded against my neck, I tried not to squirm at his scratchy stubble – it was halfway between tickling and feeling really, _really_ nice, "I'll agree to try, but we need to think about it first or else everything will be made worse if they catch us."

I nodded realising my emotions were overpowering reason, only Edward could cause such an upheaval within me and he didn't even know it. I stayed comfortably in his arms, letting the side of me that was ecstatic that I had found Edward – and especially since he felt the same way about me than I did about him – again have her way for a moment. I felt so at peace in his arms, I'd almost forgotten what that felt like.

Being a spy clearly had its downsides...

I woke up abruptly to find myself being wrenched from my pillow, more widely known as Edward. A sweaty hand clamped down on my mouth as my scream was leaving it, my arms were being tied behind my back roughly and I watched as a valiantly struggling Edward was forced onto his front, his face pushed into the floor as someone else bound his arms behind his back and gagged him with a scrap of old, kinda slimy material tied around the back of his head for all the enraged shouting he was doing.

Once his arms were secure he was yanked back roughly by his hair and shoulder so he was kneeling. The hand on his shoulder kept him from rising. I was taken to the other side of the room so I could see his face and he could see me. Well, if he stopped glaring at Victoria, that is... _I wonder if he even knows her name._

I wasn't even sure if he even noticed the huge knife she held in her hand; because I sure as hell did. She continued to smirk at him as she leisurely fingered the blade, bringing it up in front of her face so there was no way Edward could miss it. I don't think I could hate anyone as much as I hate her... except maybe that Tanya slag who forced herself on him.

"Oh, Edward, that t-shirt doesn't suit you at all; I think you're better off with a more natural look." And with that, she flicked the knife under his sleeve and sliced it open. She did the same with the other sleeve, then caressed the skin of his abdomen under his shirt with the blade for a few moments before slicing from hem to neck and taking his shirt off him and provoking a new wave of struggling from me. I knew it wasn't the smart thing to do but I just couldn't turn my emotions off when it came to Edward. My heart wouldn't let me.

Victoria smirked at me before turning back to Edward and saying, "Well, look at that. She can't stand to see your bare chest with all my marks running across it," she sighed regretfully and ran her blood soaked talons lightly, almost lovingly, across the inflamed scars that were beginning to form, "and you were both so cute all wrapped in each other's arms this morning, I guess _that_ wont be happening again."

Victoria stalked around to his back and pushed his head forward and down as he started to struggle again, with her free hand she ripped the gauze off his back, making Edward shudder in pain. Victoria grinned, "Well, if she can't stand your chest then god knows what will happen to her if you show her your back! Can you die from repulsion and disgust?" she leaned in and whispered to him, her scarlet lips brushing his ear as her cavernous, raven coloured eyes locked in mine, "I know for a _fact_ that you can die from fear..." her intimate touch igniting such a deep, all-consuming rage within me as I hadn't ever experienced before. The weight of it paralysed me.

I watched his pale shoulders heave and flinch as Victoria poked and prodded at his back. Eventually she got bored with her game and pulled out the knife again, trailing the cold, hard point across his shoulders then over his collar bone as she leisurely circled him again. "Now, where to keep my tally..." she muttered, "On your back again? But then we wouldn't be able to see it clearly... it would get lost with all your _other_ scars there to hide it. How about on your arm? Or perhaps your chest?"

She then ran the knife up his neck – along the life-giving veins pulsing in his neck – and rested the point on his cheek, just above the material of his gag – hard enough to be painful, but not quite hard enough to tear the skin – and she crouched down to his level. "How about here, on your face, so that every time Carlisle looks at you, every time you look in the mirror you'll be reminded of how long they kept you waiting and suffering in here." She sneered in Edward's face. Edward's only reaction was to keep glaring at Victoria, even as her other hand came up and stroked his other cheek. "But it's a shame to waste such a pretty face. Looks like its gonna have to be your chest after all."

She lunged forward, pushing him onto his not-yet-healed back, eliciting a pained hiss form Edward before she had even touched him with the knife! I started struggling in earnest now, finding purchase with my teeth to bite my captor's hand and stamping on his foot. My struggles, however, didn't get me very far as, in a bored tone, Victoria commanded that I be gagged with something more durable than a human hand and chained to the wall.

Just _great._

Once I was secure, hands shackled behind my back and a disgusting cloth stuffed into my mouth, everyone turned their attention once again to Edward. Victoria – for once leaving out all the dramatics – just smirked, plunged her knife into his flesh and cut down his pectoral. Fortunately, the cut wasn't deep enough to render the muscle useless, but it would still need stitches. The blood started trickling down his torso, my eyes helpless but to follow the crimson path until it pooled on the floor next to him. Victoria then stood up, casually snapped a picture, then sauntered out with all her cronies following her; she was careful not to get any of his blood on any part of her.

Fucking _cow_.

I glared at them as they walked past with all the hate and revulsion that I could muster. If one of them had looked at me I was sure he would have dropped dead, convulsing and foaming at the mouth... alas, not one of them looked at me and my efforts were put to waste. Shame; I would've got _a lot_ of satisfaction from watching that...

Once they left I immediately spit the material out my mouth and focused my attention on Edward, "Are you alright?" I asked desperately hoping the answer would be yes. I _needed_ him to be alright; just like I needed air to breathe.

He looked at me raising an eyebrow as his eyes darted down suggestively – not like _that_. Jesus – oh; right. He was still wearing the gag. "Oh... woops."

He rolled his eyes playfully then looked at the ceiling and frowned in concentration, I started to become really concerned when he started arching his back and shifting his hips. But just as I was about to ask if he was alright, he pulled his hands out from underneath him – the rope still trailing from one wrist – and pulled the material from his mouth.

I grinned at him and he gave me a tired half smile in return. He came over to me but there wasn't much either of us could do about the chains on my wrists. He eventually gave up and leaned on the wall next to me, "Sorry," he sighed again.

"For what?"

"For dragging you into this; that our reunion had to be like this, I'm sorry you're stuck in here with me," I could tell that he was still feeling a lot of unnecessary guilt over this so I tried, yet again, to erase it from him and put his mind at ease.

"Edward, there's nowhere else I'd rather be," I assured him, putting as much enthusiasm into it as I could in hopes that that would inspire confidence in my words – and himself.

He raised a brow at me disbelievingly, "Really? Because I can definitely think of some places _I'd_ rather be."

I chuckled at him, "So can I, but I only want to be in those places if you're there with me."

He smiled shyly, looking up from beneath his eyelashes, and all the air left me as he carried on speaking not noticing that he had managed to turn a hardened spy into a puddle of goo with just a look, "It's the same for me Bella. I... I think I love you." He paused and took a deep breath, "I think I always have."

Now just _how_ does he expect me to even think – let alone reply – after _that?_ "Uuhhhh..." my mind had been caught up in the romance of the statement and had consequently abandoned its post as the thinking part of my body.

He started fidgeting nervously, "It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same you know, I just... _had_ to tell you. I don't know what came over me really, not that I don't love you or that I don't want you to know that I love you but there are probably a million better ways, times and places to say it. I know it wasn't really romantic or anything, but I just _couldn't_ wait for a better moment, I just knew that you had to know _now_... "

"I do!" I blurted out before that ridiculous notion could plant itself too firmly in his head, "I do feel the same – you just left me speechless there for a minute."

He grinned a grin which was purely swoon-worthy and said, "When we get out of here, do you wanna go out? Like, on a date?"

I just nodded and leaned my head back against the wall. He had just reminded me of the fact that I had failed to get him out last night, and now he has _yet another_ scar from my negligence! I was a spy! I should be able to do this without breaking a sweat! I thought of Carlisle, Esme and Edward's friends; what were they thinking now? Would they be able to get the money? Are they imagining Edward being carved into _right now? _Why was the world so unfair?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward asked, concerned as he coaxed my face up with one gentle finger under my chin. It was a sweet, tender, _intimate_ gesture and I loved it. I loved that we were so comfortable around each other again. It was almost like the last nine years never happened.

"You don't deserve this Edward, and neither does your family! It's just hard to wrap my head around how fucked up the world is to allow this to happen to such good people," I cried desperately, as if the universe would hear and then take pity.

"You don't deserve this shit-load of crap either Bella." Edward said quietly, he lifted a hand to brush a stray lock of hair of my face and behind my ear, "Hell, if the world were right then you'd be an exotic princess somewhere adorned with the loveliest of flowers, precious metals and gems; surrounded by luxury and servants eager to do your bidding. Your skin would only feel the smooth comforts of silk or the soft caresses of velvet. You would be hailed as the rose amongst the thorns, yet no flower could compare to your beauty, neither inside nor out. The noblest of men would fight to be in your presence, for your honour and your well-being. You would know no pain or challenge to your will – not even if you fell in love with a lowly servant like me, as no one could protest against the power of your beauty and kindness."

_Aawwwwwww,_ his speech was so romantic, it literally knocked me senseless as I then apparently decided it would be a good idea to say, "You're a real romantic at heart aren't you?"

He blushed and looked down at his fidgeting fingers, "Uh... yeah," he eventually admitted reluctantly.

"Well, thank god for that! I thought I would be the only sappy one in this relationship." He grinned shyly at my attempt to lighten the mood. "But that was really sweet. Thank you," I said with a soft smile, before leaning over and kissing him chastely on the lips. I couldn't get enough of kissing him, I just couldn't get enough of _him._ His body and mind and soul were an amazing enigma that repeatedly left me fascinated and in awe. It was hard to find a truly _good_ person in this day and age... "Can I look at your back?" I asked hesitantly.

Edward shifted uncomfortably, "It's really not a pretty sight, Bella..." he looked at me with a pained expression.

"I don't care; I want to see what they did to you," I said with nearly all the strength I had left in me.

He looked at me calculatingly for a moment, studying my face, probably to see how determined I was to see his back... or maybe to see any indication of how well – or indeed _if –_ I would be able to handle the sight of it. It didn't matter because either way I was set; being a spy meant I had seen a lot of gruesome things, plus my determination and stubbornness was legendary, so I was constantly told. I stared him down and finally he shifted round so his mottled back was facing me. As soon as I saw his back I gasped; if Edward had been anyone else, I would've been able to take in the sight with merely professional concern. However, staring at those angry, puffy red and purple and green marks covering the boy I loved... it was an entirely different matter.

Edward had tensed – not really flinched, but tensed – at the sound of my gasp as if he was waiting for me to reject him. Yeah... _not_ going to happen. I awkwardly shifted onto my knees – fucking manacles restricting my movement – and leant forward to place another chaste kiss at the top of his spine. When he didn't relax immediately, I continued kissing along his broad shoulders relishing in the feel of Edward under my lips. As strange as it sounds, kissing Edward's back and scars seemed more intimate than kissing him on the lips...

I was once again reminded of how much I hated the situation. We couldn't we have reunited like normal people – you know, just accidentally bumping into each other on the street? Was that really so hard? I guess neither of us was really all that normal. I rested my forehead on the top of his back once he had completely relaxed and glanced down; his back was now dirty – a result of being pinned to the floor as he was cut – and there was now a risk of infection if it was left like that... People _die_ from infection! No insult that anyone could think of could possibly hope to encapsulate Victoria's immorality and repulsion and vulgarity and just... plain... _evilness_. Or my anger at her for being like that. Only the devil himself could match her – and I'd seen a lot of fucked up things in my time – being a spy and all...

We weren't there for long before my tears – which I had been desperately fighting to keep a hold of for a while now – finally burst through the dam of my eyelids and fell onto his abused, tender flesh. The world just _didn't_ make any sense. I held my sobs in but as soon as Edward felt my tears on his skin he turned around and cradled my face against his shoulder, trying to give me as much comfort as possible and soothe my pain through the chains that bound me. How did I end up being comforted by him again? He had always been the strong one, now it should be my turn to be strong for him – once I had my breathing under control, that is...

Some time later, a blonde walked in the room carrying two pizza boxes and a couple of cokes... now that I saw the food, I realised I was starving. This was too good to be true, I watched suspiciously as the woman set the food down on the floor and produced a key. Which she then used to unlock my manacles before turning round and going back to the door, pausing to let us know that she would be coming back with something to clean Edward's back, some gauze and if she could, a new t-shirt for Edward. Something was definitely off about this...

"Who the hell is that and do we trust them?" I whispered – maybe a bit _too_ harshly to Edward once the door had closed – noting that I had said 'we' while Edward didn't even notice and eyeing the intruder until I recognised her from some of the demonic DVDs.

"That's, uh... Tanya and yeah, I'm pretty sure we can trust her," Edward replied confidently.

"What?" I almost screeched, "You're telling me that the same Tanya who forced herself on you, the same slut who I had to watch dance around you with food while you got nothing but bread and water... is _trustworthy?_ Are you out of your goddamn mind? Who's to say she isn't doing this just to try her luck at getting in your pants again? Who's to say that she isn't doing this just to gain your trust to later turn against you? Why on earth would you freaking trust her Edward?"

"Because she was the one who cleaned me up after my torment. She risked herself to bring me – _us_ – good food so we don't starve and waste away... she's been nice to me." Edward shrugged, "Besides, it's not like I'm telling her my deepest, darkest secrets. I figured why not appreciate the help she was offering? ...plus I'm not easy to deceive, Esme says I have a knack for being able to tell whether people are lying to me or not."

Edward went to the pizza boxes and opened them both, nudging one to me as he picked up a slice out of the other one and bit into it. I stared at the pizza, still suspicious of it until Edward noticed I wasn't eating and then offered me some out of the same box he was eating from. He grinned at me around a mouth full of pizza as I resignedly nodded and picked up another slice of pizza and held it near my mouth for me to bite – after I'd sniffed it.

_Tanya – _as she was_ politely _known; the name was too good for her in my opinion_ – _came back with some gauze, some cleaning materials, an old, shabby t-shirt and the keys to my chains. She unlocked me and started to clean up his back as I massaged my bruised wrists, but I just couldn't stand the sight of that whore's talons running all over my man. So I sneered at her to get out and that I would do it.

I absently noticed that Edward's ears and cheeks flamed up at my territorial display, but I really didn't care if I was out of line; I had just found him again, only to learn that _Cruella Devil_ had tried to corrupt him – unsuccessfully, I might add – but that certainly didn't make me feel even a smidgen better about allowing her to touch him. I felt that I was entitled to at least a _little_ bit of jealousy, if nothing else.

I told Edward to lie on his front and get comfortable – he complied silently, somehow sensing that I was _not_ in a mood to be messed with – before applying the clean, wet cloth to his skin. I brushed the cloth over his sensitive skin as delicately as I could, kissing him whenever he hissed – which wasn't a lot, I noticed maybe slightly smugly – and taking care of him with all the reverence he deserved; he was wrong earlier when he talked about himself as a lowly servant, he was a god: a Greek god, a sex god... he was the whole package. Pun _not_ intended – however true it may be...

I lovingly taped the gauze over his back, trying to tape over as little tender scar-tissue as possible. I smoothed the last of the tape down and sat back as Edward sat up. He looked at me with glassy eyes as I began to clean the fresh wound on his chest. I taped gauze over that as well and kissed it before looking up into Edward's eyes. They held so much emotion as he uttered a quiet, hoarse "Thank you," and grasped me in his arms. I gingerly returned the hug, placing my hands on the outer edges of his shoulders and releasing my tears the same time as his. By now I was getting _really_ fed up of crying.

After a while we broke apart and Edward put on the t-shirt that Tanya had salvaged – or possibly swiped – for him. We finished off eating what we could of the pizzas, leaving only five slices for Tanya – not that she deserved them, I thought – then leant against the wall, I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and he rested his head on mine. I didn't notice when Tanya came into the room to clear up our mess. The emotional stress of the day was now making me weary, even though I wasn't sure what time it was or even how long we had been awake for.

"Bella?" Edward asked softly after some time had elapsed.

"Yeah?" I answered just as softly.

"Are you happy? I mean, with your life? With whatever you're doing?" he asked and I detected a hint of nervousness in his voice. "What are you doing by the way?"

"Well, I work – I didn't go to uni but I work for the government. I have a few close friends, not many, and my job is... _stressful,_ but very satisfying." I think he could tell that I was holding something back from him. I was thankful we were only newly reacquainted, or else he probably would've pushed it; I couldn't lie to him, even though it was forbidden to tell others about our secret group of agents.

He grew quiet after this revelation and I couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind, whether he was speculating or whether he was thinking about something else entirely. "Are you?" I asked. He turned his head slowly and looked at me, "Are you happy?"

He frowned, as if my question required serious thought, "I'm... _content_," he eventually answered. "Mostly."

"Mostly?" I asked.

"...Yeah. I never had anything to complain about in my life, I knew I was lucky..." he trailed off.

"But there was something missing." I finished for him knowing the feeling.

"I missed you." He confessed, "So much. Everyday. I always knew it was _you_ I needed, I just never had the courage to do anything about it. I always thought you would hate me for abandoning you... I couldn't bear it if you hated me, if I contacted you and you rejected me. I guess I thought it would be better if I could still hope that you liked me, my fear of rejection was so great I was convinced you would immediately shun me at the mere mention of my name."

"How could you think that, Edward?" I asked, now slightly concerned for his mental stability. I took his face gingerly in my hands, "Why on earth would you think, even for a moment that I would – that I _could_ – reject you?" I asked pleadingly, looking deep into his eyes, as my thumbs stroked his cheeks.

"I abandoned you?" he was uncertain now, "I know I wasn't a _cool_ kid. I mean, why would you want me? I was into comics, I had hair that looked like I had just lost a fight with an electric socket, I had _really_ severe acne, I was _weedy... _I was nothing. I was a hopeless pushover! At first I tried to hold my own, but in the end I just let everyone just walk right all over me. _How_, in any way, shape or form, was _that _desirable? People at my old school were ashamed to even _talk_ to me."

"Do you still think of yourself as this weedy, geeky pushover?" I asked quietly, fearfully, beseechingly.

He cast his eyes down, and I had my answer right there. "I know I'm not acne ridden any more and neither am I such a weak pushover. I've stood up to my bullies, Bella, but I'm ashamed of how long it took me to do that. I just don't feel... _valuable._ If that makes sense?"

"What don't you like about yourself?" I asked hoping that I could get this straightened out once and for all. His admission had my guts twisting and knotting and my chest aching.

"I swear all the time, I'm lazy, bossy, defiant, a sucker for guilt trips, I'm still weak and geeky and... I'm _bad_, Bella. Really bad." I started to shake my head in fierce protest, but he cut me off, "I _am._ I _must_ be if all this shit keeps happening to me. I _must_ have done something to deserve it!"

I took a deep and necessary breath to calm myself before I spoke, "Edward. First of all, you're not lazy; if you were then you wouldn't be teaching self defence to people. Second, you're not bossy, you take control when you have to. Third,how can you be defiant and then weak and a pushover at the same time? Fourth... neither geekiness or swearing are bad things, they're actually kinda hot. Edward you might not have stood up for yourself, but you _always_ stood up for me, you were my hero; and you never stooped to their level, you rose above the rest Edward, you are a _good person_ and you have remained strong throughout this ordeal. I think this only happened to you because you were – _are_ – strong enough not to break. I love you, Edward Masen, you definitely _don't _deserve this... and I think you are _extremely_ desirable."

He half smiled through his tears, "Even though I'm a hopeless romantic?"

"_Especially_ because you're a hopeless romantic." I laughed with him.

He rested his forehead against mine and we kissed sweetly. Looking into each other's eyes, I began to feel the toll of the emotional roller-coasters once again and my eyelids drooped – as did Edward's.

"I think we both need some sleep now, huh?" Edward asked, humour evident in his voice. I nodded while yawning and we both settled on the floor Edward resting his head on the pillow and me resting my head on Edward.

We were woken up in a manner similar to the previous day – me being shackled straight to the wall this time while Edward once again was pinned on his front and had his hands lashed together behind his back. We were both gagged again. Victoria kicked Edward over onto his back and straddled him, using the knife to tear his t-shirt enough so that she could get to his chest next to the other wound she had inflicted on him. With no dramatics this time, she pulled the gauze off and out the way, a sadistic sneer spreading across her lips as she slowly inserted the knife into his skin and slowly dragged it down, ignoring Edward's squirming form as, in his pain, he sometimes managed to dig the knife in deeper.

The glistening scarlet trail seeped over his chest, a sick replay of the day before as Victoria, keen to keep herself clean, stood up, snapped a picture and left Edward panting on the floor and me struggling against the wall. How could I have let this happen _again_? Despair took hold of me as I watched Edward free himself before crawling over to me and carefully untying my gag and hugging me close until Tanya came.

As the door slowly creaked open, I couldn't help but glare just a little at her, timidly shuffling through the door. Edward, when he heard her come in, released me so I could have my hands freed and barely noticeably smirked when Tanya said she would come back with food and left behind what I would need to clean his back. Satisfied, I smiled back at him as he leant against the wall and pulled his top down to reveal his wounds – that was when my smile faded.

I cleaned Edward up while fighting back tears, only letting them fall when I pressed my lips over the sealed gauze on his chest. Leaning back, I caught sight of the long burn running down Edward's arm; I picked his arm up and kissed that as well, our conversation from last night ringing in my ears as I tried to show him that he was valuable. I pressed my lips to the friction burns around his wrist and the other one, then remembered his feet.

"Lay down," I whispered.

He complied without hesitation, closing his eyes when he was there. I smiled at that, he must have felt safe with me to be able to do that after the 'punishment' they gave him. I kissed him on the lips again, then on the hollow of his throat before crawling to is feet; I picked one up, looking at the sole and seeing the five-day-old burns covering the majority of the skin there. I gently ran my thumb over the hardened skin and sniffled a little; hearing the noise, Edward opened his eyes, watching me warily and concerned. When the tears started to fall, he retracted his foot and had his arms around me in an instant and I realised I was being completely pathetic.

"No. I'm alright," I said wiping my tears away and composing myself, "I promise," I added at Edward's concerned look. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled us both so we were laying down next to each other, discussing quietly what we would do when we got out of here; we were so absorbed in our conversation that we didn't notice when Tanya slipped in and left us some food.

We ate it when we realised we were hungry and thanked Tanya – grudgingly on my part – when she came to clear out the evidence for us.

I had started to doze, halfway between waking and sleeping, until I jolted up without a clue as to what woke me. I nudged Edward awake and strained my ears for the slightest sound that would indicate what was going on.

There wasn't any light coming in through the window or anything so it was impossible to tell whether it was light or dark outside. Although we weren't waiting long before we found out...

I believe '_bang_' is the appropriate word to describe the ear-splitting noise that echoed around the room at that point.

"Bella Swan! You are in so much trouble young lady!" Alice threatened, as she stepped out of the mess of glass and wood splinters on the floor before turning to face me while making sure there was no debris left in her hair. Only Alice would stop to make sure her hair was perfect in the middle of a rescue mission, which was, presumably, what this whole shebang was.

"Heh heh, Bella's gonna get it now!" Emmett sang smugly from outside the window. _Stupid fucking Emmett. _Why could he never learn to shut up and keep his thoughts to himself? It isn't really that hard if you put your mind to it. _Maybe I would have to invest some time into teaching him... the hard way._

Alice rolled her eyes while I narrowed mine, "Come on, we need to get you two out of here." She sounded like an exasperated mother talking to a pair of toddlers. I was _not_ amused. At all.

She unclipped a rope from her belt and scanned the room for something sturdy to tie it to. I leapt into action knowing that we had a severely limited amount of time to make our getaway, the bad guys were already moving up the stairs. I caught the end of the rope and tied it to a ring bolted to the wall at about waist height. I tugged on the knot to make sure it could support our body weight and ran to the window where Alice was already instructing Edward on what to do – he seemed to be taking the whole thing rather well...

The door burst open then – thank god they only had one gun between them – and I quickly disarmed Victoria. Then _Tanya_ grabbed Victoria from behind and me, Alice and Edward rushed the other three. I managed to throw a small but feisty girl down the stairs before helping Edward with the guy on him. It was a fight; we all got bruised and scraped – it was inevitable – but now Edward was loosing even more blood from the gash above his left eyebrow.

When there was a moment of opportunity, Alice helped Edward abseil down the side of the house before quickly doing the same. I kicked a guy in the balls and then ran over to the rope to take my turn at getting out of there. I threw myself out the window – grabbing the rope as I did so – and twisting mid-flight so that my feet were facing the wall and I that wouldn't face-plant into it when the rope swung me back towards the house; quickly lowering myself to the ground as Alice and Edward made their way to the waiting van once they had seen that I was in fact getting out of there.

Once I hit the ground I ran to the van parked on the street. Emmett, Alice and Edward were watching me run towards them with wide, concerned eyes. The van started pulling away but I knew it wouldn't accelerate too much before I was on board – Jasper wasn't like that. I launched myself into the van, Alice and Edward catching me as Emmett shut the door and Jasper sped up. The police were on their way as me Alice and Edward attempted to disentangle ourselves from each other.

Eventually Emmett had to help – chuckling at us the whole time – and then we all sat down on the benches along the sides of the van, me and Emmett on one side facing Edward and Alice. I wanted to know what was going through his head but his face gave me absolutely nothing to work with. Why was he avoiding looking at me?

"Where to?" Jasper called from the front of the van.

"The hospital," I answered, "We need to get Edward checked over for infection and get his wounds stitched up, then we need to communicate with the police, file a report and then close this case."

His eyes met mine then and I got the answer to my question; he felt as if I thought of him as another client, he felt like just some other poor chump who got themselves into trouble for me to rescue – it didn't matter that I had told him I loved him, I had neglected to mention I was spy on a mission and I was now treating him like a stranger. I should've included myself in needing to get checked over, it was true but we could've done that back at base, where we usually did. I'd assumed...

Well, I don't know what I'd assumed, but worse than that – a hell of a lot worse than that – I didn't know how to make it better.

"Has anyone called Carlisle and Esme?" I asked after a brief and extremely awkward silence.

"Yeah, but we better let them know we're going to the hospital," Rose spoke for the first time as she picked up the phone, presumably to call Edward's parents.

I looked away from Edward and noticed Alice glaring at me. "What?" I defended.

"Why the freaking _hell_ didn't you check in!" she screeched at a pitch only appropriate for dogs and bats to hear, as she leaned forward to smack the side of my head. _Ow. _Being friends with spies sometimes isn't all its cracked up to be, especially when they're annoyed with you... my hand came up to rub the place where she had hit me.

"Because I didn't fake the amnesia, alright!" I said, realising that they had probably – definitely – hacked into the hospital records, "I really _couldn't_ remember one single _thing_ before waking up in the hospital after the accident! ...Have the police been called?"

"Yeah, reinforcements were called in as we got there and are converging as we speak," replied Jasper.

**Edward's pov**

The van lapsed into silence – apart from the blonde female in the front, murmuring what were probably reassurances in a muted voice to Carlisle and Esme that their son was alive and kicking. After Bella's outburst, the awkwardness descended, working with the silence to create a thick, cloying cloud. Why was it taking so long to get to the hospital? I stared at my hands waiting with much difficulty until I could speak with Bella alone. I needed her to be clear about what she felt about me; the professional but patronising tenor of her previous comment, was a complete one-eighty to the professions of love that were whispered back and forth in the isolated prison.

Did she only say those things to appease me? Did she only tell me that she loved me because she felt she had to? Did she think that everything we said to each other would be forgotten once we got out?

Was it to get my cooperation? Was it all just part of the plan?

...Or was it real? Does she actually love me as I love her and it's the _negative_ signals she's giving me that are the false ones?

We pulled up at the hospital shortly and the biggest one of our rescuers immediately opened the doors, jumping out and holding them for those of us sat in the back and we all made our way into the reception. We walked in together, Bella limping slightly as we made our way over to the desk, me slightly behind, with the giant and the midget helping me to walk now that I had lost even more blood and my adrenaline was waning and no longer supporting me as it had done during the fight. We were told by the bored receptionist to go wait in one of the chairs until someone could see us. Too tired to request urgent treatment, we nodded and complied, sitting in a line along the wall, staring inattentively straight ahead until something demanded our attention.

I just sat there, completely removed from my surroundings, my mind buzzing away, working a million miles a minute as I went over and over _and over_ mine and Bella's time together – our most recent time together. Why hadn't she said something? I mean, fucking hell, she told me she loved me; couldn't she have squeezed in the teensy weensy little fact that she was there on purpose as well? It was like she was some sort of secret agent or something. Shit. A lot had obviously happened since we were kids in that care home. Did she even want to be with me any more? _Could_ she even be with me if she was a spy? I knew there was a difference between that and love, I wasn't naïve.

I was called by a vaguely familiar nurse and led to a cubicle. I felt a little twinge of guilt spike through me at not remembering her name, but then again, I barely had the presence of mind to acknowledge the guilt, let alone remember her name. Exhaustion and pain were severely impinging on my ability to think clearly. I followed her in silence and remained uncommunicative as she left me to fetch a doctor. I would probably know whoever she brought back with her as well but I wasn't exactly capable of performing higher mental functions at that moment. The rush of adrenalin had now dissipated and had left me feeling drained.

The pain from my desiccated feet was now making itself known with every step I took, the cold, sterile floor only combating the burn minimally. Yet my exhaustion was beneficial in helping me to ignore the hurt flaring across the soles of me feet.

The doctor came in, took one look at me and then got right down to business, telling me to take my shirt off so he could examine me. I did as he requested and he immediately went to the newest cuts on my chest. I zoned out as he examined me more, eventually moving round to my back and removing the gauze so he could take a look at where most of my – still mostly unhealed – scars were.

I don't know if the doctor talked to me at all but I was suddenly aware of being in only my jeans as I was wheeled to the x-ray room. I think everyone had probably guessed I was in shock by now and was going to be offering up nothing but shite in the way of communication. By now I was so fucking exhausted, I was struggling so much just to keep my eyes open. I didn't know if it was the result of an anaesthetic I was given or whether I was just plain tired, but I knew that trying to stay awake was a battle that was lost before it had even begun, I had no choice but to let myself drift off.

I was _so_ fucking ready for a nice, peaceful, _comfortable_ sleep...

I woke up in a room, a different room than the one I had fallen asleep in and noticed that I was now clad only in a hospital gown, although I still had boxers on – which was a comforting realisation. I turned my head to the side to see Carlisle asleep on the chair next to me with Esme curled up on his chest. I felt a small smile creep it's way onto my face, I had missed them both _so fucking much_... I had missed _everyone_ so fucking much, it was like I had been gone for three _years_ instead of three weeks.

The thought caused a terrible pang to echo around my now seemingly empty chest.

They both looked utterly exhausted so I didn't wake them, but I did take note of the clean bandages around my torso as I kicked the blanket off because I was getting a little bit too hot. I sat up and looked around for a glass of water – or the means to get a glass of water – thankful that I was relatively free to move around as I had no broken bones – apart from the little finger on my left hand, which was now strapped to my ring finger – and was only hooked up to a heart monitor. I was sore and stiff – unsurprisingly – but it still made me wonder exactly how long I had been asleep for...

I would just have to ask once I had the opportunity; right now though, my priorities were getting a glass of water then taking a piss... and making damn fucking sure I was back before Carlisle and Esme woke up. After my glass of water, I was hesitant to leave, but my body was becoming increasingly and quite alarmingly insistent.

I managed to relieve myself and get back before anyone noticed I was gone – thank _fucking god_ for that – and settled back down on my bed, trying to distract myself with thoughts of how mad Esme would be if she found out how long I had been awake without her for.

_And it wasn't pretty folks_...

Needless to say, it didn't work very well. Instead I thought about playing my piano again – and getting that damn tune finished! Despite my frustration, I quickly fell back asleep again, the hospital bed as soft as a cloud compared to the hard wooden floor I had been falling asleep on recently. My dreams were filled with Bella in various disguises as she constantly outran me and my family, with me getting extremely frustrated every time she got lost in the crowd; it wasn't hard to guess where they came from.

The second time I woke up, I heard a low murmuring gently coaxing me to wakefulness. As I opened my eyes I saw Carlisle rocking Esme in his lap as he muttered reassurances to her. I only got to observe them unnoticed for a few moments before Esme blinked her eyes open and looked right into my eyes. There was a couple of seconds of blank confusion before chaos erupted around us with the opening of her mouth.

"_Edward!_" She screamed before launching herself into my arms. Carlisle looked on in absolute shock for an instant before joining Esme in getting as much skin to skin contact with me as possible. I wouldn't have minded – _honestly,_ I wouldn't have – if Esme wasn't also cutting off my air supply.

"Uh... mum? Do you... think you could... loosen the... hold there a little? I still... need to breathe..." I gasped out hoping she could hear me through her relieved sobs – well, I hope they were relieved and she wasn't just crying because I was alive and was now attempting to finish the job herself...

But I knew Esme wasn't like that.

Esme's scream had brought people running and a nurse and a doctor burst into the room, the nurse immediately going to Esme and prying her off me, only succeeding after the doctor stepped in to help. As Esme reluctantly let go and instead sat on the edge of the bed, firmly grasping one of my hands while the other went to stroke my forehead, Angie, Ben and Seth ran in, halting at the doorway for a split second before running over to my bed and taking turns to hug me. They all had huge, watery smiles on their faces to match mine and they were all telling me how worried they'd been and how glad they were that I was back and not damaged beyond repair. I, in turn, sat up and told them how much I missed them all and how much I thought about everyone everyday while I was being held hostage.

The only thing that was missing was Bella. "Where's Bella?" I asked, after scanning the room one more time, just to make sure I was right.

Esme's smile got even bigger at my question, "Bells and her friends are resting in another room, they're not seriously injured but they were all really tired and fell asleep here like you did. Maybe someone could go check, see if they're awake, if you like?" Esme asked, directing her question at everyone while keeping her eyes on me.

I smiled and nodded and Seth ran out the room and disappeared down the corridor. I felt tears prick my eyes again, I was so _bloody happy_ and _relieved_ to be back; it was overwhelming. As soon as Esme saw the tears, her arms were back around me as I let myself go and sobbed into her shoulder. I was vaguely aware of everyone else – apart from Carlisle – subtly exiting the room, but I paid no attention as I felt Carlisle's arms wrap around me from behind. A nurse walked in then and ushered Esme and Carlisle out so I could have my wounds redressed.

The nurse made idle chitchat with me as she went about her business helping to distract me from the discomfort. The scars would be horrendous, how would I be able to go swimming or to the beach?Not that I go to the beach often but I may have to invest in a wetsuit...

Once the nurse had finished, she quickly went out to let everyone back in. And then there she was, coming through the door. My angel. My Bella... or, she _used_ to be. She had changed – a lot – and the missed opportunity that was currently rubbing itself in my face caused a wave of melancholy to sweep through me. She smiled softly at me, lightening my mood slightly and moved to the side to let Esme get back to her seat next to me.

"Hey," I croaked. _Damn_, it sounded like I had just attempted to drown myself in a sandpit – and that thought did absolutely _nothing_ to help make me feel better.

"Hi," she said back, being pushed forward by the sheer volume of people trying to cram themselves into the room behind her. There were the four of her friends, Seth, Ben and Angie, plus both my parents all moving in behind her – and this wasn't exactly a _large_ room...

But now that she was here, I didn't have a clue what to say to her, _how fucking ironic_. Maybe I should've thought about what I should say to her while she was out of the room and it wasn't up to me to think on my feet... but I didn't; so I just went with, "How are you?" feeling like the fucking village idiot as I did.

She nodded and answered with a cheery voice, looking me straight in the eyes, "I'm good; a little scratched and a little bruised, but other than that I'm well rested now, and perfectly fine. Absolutely nothing for you to worry about."

Was I really all _that_ transparent?

I nodded back. My eyes wondered to the other people – her friends – who had entered the room with her, "Hi... and erm, thanks – really." I muttered feeling like it wasn't nearly enough, they had just busted me and Bella out of there, after all. And that was no easy feat.

Everyone seemed to be determined to stay in the room – despite the serious lack of space – and several conversations sprung up around me simultaneously. I tried really hard to pay attention to them, I tried to see whether everyone was getting along and I desperately tried to get a hint about when Bella and her team were going to depart... but I was quickly growing tired again and found my eyes closing without my permission. I fought off the weariness as long as I could before I finally had to admit defeat and allowing the dark, encompassing comfort of unconsciousness claim me...

The third time I woke up, I felt much more alert. I opened my eyes to see my mum sat in the chair reading a magazine of some sort. I smiled and said, "Hey. I'm really sorry about just nodding off on you all back there."

Esme looked up at me quickly, a delighted smile spreading across her face. "Oh honey! Everyone understands, you need to sleep to heal," she started breaking down into harsh sobs then, "After all the... _injuries_ you've sustained, you needed all the sleep you could get." I held out my arms and she quickly fitted herself into them, crawling onto the bed with me – luckily, Esme was small, making it a fairly easy fit. It looked like it would take her a while to get over this;_ it might take _me_ a while to get over it too_...

I hushed her gently and rubbed her back in what I was hoping was a soothing manner, until Carlisle came in and rescued me from her clutches. I was beginning to feel more like a damsel in distress every day. _Not_ a pleasant thought to be having... unless you were a girl and into that sort of stuff...

Carlisle pulled Esme off me and brought her onto his lap while he sat on the chair. I sat up and reached for the glass on the bedside table, downing it in one go. The cool liquid was like heaven as it slid down my decimated throat, as soon as I had finished the glass, I looked around for a tap.

I felt Esme's fingers wrap around mine, "I'll get you some water dear," she said and I could see in her eyes how important it was to her to get me the fucking drink, so I let her with an easy, appreciative smile.

However, I still knew that that shit was going to get old after a while. Esme's 'mother hen' instinct was insanely strong; it was the fucking stuff of legend!

"Thank you," my head whipped around to stare confusedly at Carlisle, prompting him to elaborate, "For coming back to us in one piece, and for being so tolerant of Esme. I know she can be a bit overenthusiastic at times and especially when you've just come back to us from being kidnapped; I'm sure this is a bit overwhelming for you and I wanted to say thank you for your patience... I'll try and help tone down her mother hen instincts, but you're gonna have your friends to deal with too, son. Good luck with that and I hope you make it out alive."

He smirked at me playfully and patted me on the shoulder.

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Honestly dad, at the moment I'm loving this almost as much as mum is... I know that's gonna change in a bit and I'll try and have all my patience ready for that. But I'm just so glad to be out of that hell-hole... I can't even describe it."

He smiled sadly at me then changed the subject, "So, you've met Bells then?"

I blushed, "Yeah... Wait, she was the amnesia patient you were bringing home; wasn't she?"

He looked at me surprised – probably shocked that I had remembered – and replied a little cautiously, "Yeah, she is. She's been very helpful while..." he pause and gulped, "You know – over the last three weeks." Like I needed the reminder of _that fucking place._

I nodded and we lapsed into a comfortable silence, only breaking it to say a quiet 'thank you' when Esme bustled into the room with a glass of water for me. She sat next to me on the bed, covering the hand in my lap with her own, and a sudden thought occurred to me. "Dad? When do we get to go home?"

"Only a couple of days now Edward. You're healing well," Carlisle replied looking at me strangely and stroking my hair.

Then there were tears in his eyes. _Tears_. I'd never seen Carlisle even come _close_ to crying. The sight was enough to set my own tears off as well.

"We're so proud of you, son," Carlisle whispered to me. I looked bemusedly at Carlisle, once again wondering what the hell he was going on about – either he was suddenly becoming a cryptically speaking philosopher or I had taken a few too many hits to the head – however he smiled indulgently at me and continued patiently, "For staying so strong throughout that ordeal and for not giving in when so many others would have... Thank you for having so much faith in us and for loving us so much, you could see your love and determination in every video they sent us – that was the only thing that made watching them bearable."

There was no trace of his smile left by the end of his speech; instead his eyes were intense and his hand was now firmly gripping my shoulder. His tears had now broken free of his eyelids and were now running down his face.

Stupidly, I could feel a smile trying to work itself onto my face, but I bit my lip in an attempt to control it – now wasn't really the most appropriate time for smiling, considering the circumstances and Carlisle's visage being so sombre. I could feel my schooled expression slipping, so I looked away and was met with Esme's tear filled fixed on me as well – I swear none of us was ever this mushy before... but I guess this was one of those exceptional circumstances, so I guess it didn't really count.

For now, I just wanted to be held, to feel safe, to feel _loved_.

I think those are perfectly reasonable and perfectly understandable wants and needs.

* * *

**A/N – So, I don't care if you wanna shout at me for taking so long or whatever but always feel free to leave a review... possibly suggesting ideas as to how to keep this story going for more than one more chapter – unless you want it to end soon. :{**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N – _STOP!_** before you read this, you need to go back and re-read the end of the last chapter or else this wont really make sense.

And to make the above comment make sense: I redid most of the last chapter from about half way down – but you only really need to read the bit from Edward's point of view onwards because that's where the biggest change is.

And to make the quality of the chapter below make sense: I feel really crappy right now so I'm just gonna publish this and then maybe come back to it in a few days once my moods rights itself and this chapter stops hanging over my head.

Maybe I'll even write a futuretake if there's enough interest and enough inspiration.

* * *

**Chapter 11 – crapiness **

**Edward's pov**

Over the next two days, I was allowed to wear something other than the hospital gown while lounging around on the bed – which made me feel a hell of a lot better. Bella and a couple of her friends stuck around but the other two went back to wherever it was that they came from to do paper work, the ones who stayed were called Alice and Jasper. We hadn't got round to telling my mum and dad who they were yet, and Bella still hadn't directly confirmed my suspicions either. I wanted to confront her, but there was always someone else there, I just couldn't find the moment to bring it up.

I also made everyone leave when the nurse came redress my wounds; seeing them – especially now while both the physical and emotional was so fresh – would have _shattered_ Carlisle and especially Esme... as would letting Bella stay, even if she had already seen my scars. So I made no contradictory comment when the nurse started ushering everyone out.

Luckily I hadn't got any infection and the two cuts on my chest would leave minimal scarring, if it wasn't for my back – which I still had yet to see properly – I wouldn't have been self conscious about taking my top off. As it was, at least I wouldn't have to see a reminder in the mirror everyday.

By the third day in hospital, all the wounds on my back had sealed, and I no longer needed a bandage around me, I only needed the butterfly stitches over the two most recent cuts on my chest. Even_ I _still hadn't seen my back. I didn't want to.

My family came back in looking extraordinarily happy. "What?" I asked.

Carlisle replied, "We've just been told you are fit to come home, you had been for a while as most of your injuries were superficial lacerations so the only real concern was blood loss and infection. The only reason they kept you in for so long was because of me."

"So, whenever you want to go, just say the word..." Esme contributed excitedly.

I smiled, "The sooner the better."

Both my parents beamed back at me and arrangements were quickly made for me to go home. Everyone could hardly wait, the excitement in the room was palpable and I found myself laughing along with everyone, my concerns and doubts regarding Bella and my mental health were completely, if temporarily, forgotten.

I sat in the back of the car with Esme next to me, holding my hand. I occasionally had to squeeze it when her hold got too tight. She would always smile apologetically and loosen her hold, but still keep a firm grip on my hand; I would always smile back so she knew I understood and didn't blame her at all.

It was still morning when we got home, but that didn't stop Esme from cooking a huge dinner for everyone. Disappointingly, I was full long before I wanted to be, my weeks of starvation in captivity had shrunk my stomach and I would have to build up my appetite again... and my muscles, I'd gone soft while I was in there. Esme was giddy with having me home, so much so that she didn't even notice that I'd left half of my food on my plate.

After dinner, I went upstairs to my room. Being back... it was like heaven.

I felt a smile break across my face as I literally launched myself onto my bed and curled up in the covers, inhaling the clean, fresh scent of home, revelling in it instead of the rank musty smell I'd had to endure for the last three weeks. I fell asleep like that, fully clothed, in my own bed and with a full stomach. This wasn't just _like _heaven, it _was_ heaven.

Waking up, I shouldn't have been surprised to find my shoes and shirt removed and myself tucked under the covers. I allowed myself a small smile before I rolled gently of bed and made my way downstairs to the kitchen, the source of the smell that had led me there – Esme's cooking.

I stood undetected in the doorway for a moment, appreciating the warm, homely sight before walking forwards and sitting down at the table.

Esme spun around, spatula in hand and a huge, excited smile on her face, "Edward! Here, have some pancakes – I've even got honey and strawberries to go with them." She bustled about a little bit before placing a plate of pancakes and some toppings in front of me, "Bells and her friends are still in town for a few days, before they have to get going – such a coincidence them arriving when they did – but I'm thankful that they did..." she sighed softly, thoughtfully and sat down in the chair next to me, her eyes still fixated on her memories or imaginings.

I clasped my hand around hers in what was hopefully a comforting way and rubbed my thumb over her knuckles, "Hey," I said in my lowest voice, "I'm here now. I'm alright, there's nothing to be afraid of any more..." I shuffled my chair closer to hers and wrapped my arms around her, "It's ok now; everything's good again."

Esme wrapped her arms around me and cried onto my shoulder, it occurred to me that she seemed to be always crying now – at every little thing! I frowned as the realisation caused worry to bud within me. It was blatantly clear that Esme had been deeply affected by this – I had known it would be so from the first chance I got to think properly – but I hadn't imagined it would be this bad... if she didn't calm down in the next couple of days, then I would go to Carlisle with my worries and possibly suggest therapy.

For now, I resolved to just pat her on the back and offer my comforts and reassurances... keep her aware of my presence. I smiled, I could do that by playing the piano.

"I'm going to shower," I announced as I stood up, put my plate and cutlery in the dishwasher then proceeded to climb the stairs. I showered relatively quickly then made my way downstairs to play the piano and work on finishing the tune; I decided it was going to be a lullaby. Of course the tune was a bit stilted from my left had being partially incapacitated and all.

I sighed frustratedly and let my head fall onto the top of the piano, leaving it there and trying to clear my mind and calm myself back down.

Hearing the doorbell, I decided that the piano could wait and went to greet Seth, Ben and Angela – I was almost certain it was them. Turned out I was right and we spent the majority of what was left of the day lounging around in the living room with films, popcorn and blankets.

It didn't even occur to me, until I was falling asleep that night that Bella never came round.

But I did notice Esme get all weepy and teary-eyed whenever she looked at me – my earlier revelation about Esme, or maybe all of us, needing therapy was becoming more and more probable.

The next day started off in much the same way and by eleven I was getting worried that she wasn't going to come back. The thought left me feeling like a hopeless princess waiting for her prince to come rescue her. But the day passed with still no sign of Bella and the ones after came and went with also no sign of her.

I suggested to Carlisle that we try therapy, to which he reluctantly agreed with me, and tried to put Bella out of my mind. Something inside had been telling me, ever since waking up and seeing her for the first time in hospital, that she wouldn't stick around for long.

I just had to get out of my head the image of her glassy eyes as I told her I loved her...

I just had to get out of my head the sound of her voice as she told me that she loved me too...

Of course after a few days the others started to notice that Bella had mysteriously disappeared, some of them were sad, some of them wistful, some affronted... but lucky me I was the one who fell in love with her, I was the only one who was broken hearted.

Day four of my 'recovery' at home and mum had a panic attack when I went to the bathroom and she couldn't find me for ten minutes. Carlisle really had no choice but to actually phone a therapist then. Three days later – one week after I had been home – we went to our first therapy session.

It was one and a half hours of hysterical tears... and that was just discussing how the whole thing had effected us, god help us when it comes to actually talking about the event itself! But we were each told to come twice a week, once for a family session and once on our own. He also told Esme that he would probably have to see her for two hours in the individual appointment whereas me and Carlisle only had to have one hour individual appointments.

Esme tearfully nodded from behind her tissue and said that it was probably for the best.

For the most part, my therapy went well – I managed to get over most of the physical stuff they did to me fairly easily, according to the therapist, it was just the emotional stuff, mostly regarding Bella. There were so many conflicting emotions where she was concerned: love, anger, abandonment, longing, confusion, hope, rejection...

Disbelief. I just couldn't believe she hadn't even said goodbye.

And then there was the guilt I felt over being kidnapped and causing everyone at home pain... so much guilt.

At times it was crushing.

But by the end of the summer I was ready to move on, I was ready to go to Dartmouth and get my medical degree. Esme was still having trouble letting go and she almost made Carlisle move across the country for me. But I managed to convince her not to make any drastic decisions with the bait that I would call everyday.

That lasted until four weeks after I went back to Dartmouth after the Christmas holidays. But I still texted her everyday.

Carlisle said he thought the distance was helping.

But it was three weeks into my second year... the day that flipped my world once again.

I hadn't moved from my place in the middle of the door-frame, "What are you doing here?" I asked coldly. Some part of me still loved her... and that same part also resented her.

She shifted uneasily on my bed, where she was sitting, _uninvited_. "I'm sorry."

"For what, Bella?" I said harshly as I dropped my stuff on the desk, the other side of the room, keeping my back to her as I unloaded my bag with shaky hands, "For making me think you loved me? For _using_ me? For leaving without even saying goodbye?" my voice had grown weak by the end of my speech and my hands had moved on to untieing that fucking friendship bracelet.

"For everything," she whispered, placing a hand gently on my shoulder.

I shrugged her off and turned around in one move, holding out the friendship bracelet for her, ignoring my blurry vision. "There you go." I croaked, "It obviously doesn't mean anything so why should I keep it?"

Her eyes widened and filled with tears as she looked at it, not making a move to take it – I couldn't be bothered with her shit – nor did I have the time for it – so I just let it drop at her feet and turned around to continue filing my notes from the day. I felt strangely on edge with her there, in the room with me.

"Of course it means something Edward," I heard her meek voice behind me.

"Well, you could have fooled me."

"How could I have stayed with you? I'm sure you guessed I'm a spy – I _kill _people, its my _job_. And then there's _you_, in _medical school_! And a _vegetarian_! Why would you wanna be with me? You had your family and friends, you were _happy_! I couldn't destroy all that! You would surely have rejected me!" she shouted at me, as if it was my fault. "It just seemed better to me if I left and you never had to see me again."

I whirled on her enraged, "You never even gave me the chance!" I shouted, "So that's your excuse? That's your fucking excuse? The reason you just _disappeared_ for over a year, without any contact whatsoever. It was because you were afraid? Of _rejection_? You obviously _must_ have thought those meant nothing then!" I pointed to the bracelet on her wrist and the one she had picked up from the floor, "God Bella, you just... _don't know_, do you?"

"Know what?" she asked, seeming afraid of the answer.

"That the hardest part of my therapy afterwards, the shit that took the longest to get over... it was you disappearing without a single word! Not the _whipping_, not the _electric shocks_, not the fucking _burning..._ just you." I shook my head and turned away from her shame filled face once again, "For the longest time I held out hope that you would come back, call, get in touch or_ something_! …But you never did.

"You just turned your back and walked away," the catharsis was a huge relief and I would be moderately satisfied if I could just get closure from this.

At least it looked like she felt bed for what she had done.

I took a deep breath; realising that she needed to know I meant business and that she couldn't just pull that disappearing shit on me again, I wasn't a toy she could throw away when it suited her, I turned and looked her in the eyes. I spoke with a strong, calm voice "So what do you want? Why did you come here?"

"I came here to try my chances."

"Try your chances at what?" I asked with black suspicion.

"At winning you back. All those things I said in that cell – they were true. It nearly _killed_ me to leave you, I know that when it comes to my own personal feelings, I'm a coward; but I'm now apologising for my awful behaviour and asking if you could ever forgive me... and if you could ever want me after I abandoned you like that?" she asked uncertainly, cautiously approaching me as if she thought I could lash out at any minute. "To tell you the truth, I've been a lousy spy since I left you – looks like I need you," she said wistfully while looking around my room.

I sighed, no matter how deeply she hurt me, it wasn't as deep as my love for her. I sat down on my bed and prepared for the long talk that we would have to have about trust, respect and whether we could work the whole _long-distance_ thingy.

We stayed up until three AM talking about how our relationship would work – admittedly I was a little hesitant to bare my soul – but by the end of it, I had made sure Bella knew she couldn't pull a stunt like that again and that talking would be vital.

Following my own scolding, when the hour was reasonable, I phoned home and discussed going into Bella's business with her friends. Of course I had to stretch the truth around what their business actually was, and I was met with a fair bit of resistance – especially from Esme but in the end they told me that it was my life, my education and always my choice.

Alice and Jasper were officially the oddest couple in the history of the world; and Emmett – I discovered at roughly the same time – was a complete man-child. Rosalie was strong willed and professional – until you get to know her, then she's a bunch of laughs like everyone else... I could see myself fitting in with them.

On hearing what went down with me and Bella they were immediately on board and put me through training and three months later I was an official spy, working as part of the team, for the government.

Over time I added to my collection of scars and we eventually compared them and had an unofficial competition on how impressive the stories for each scar were.

I was happy.

I kept in touch with Esme and Carlisle, which kept them happy.

And I didn't screw up big-time in my new career, which kept the team happy!

Plus, Victoria and James got twenty years imprisonment which kept them very _un_happy.

For the first time, it felt like my life was going in the direction it should – I was committed to Bella and she to me and there was no danger of kids in the near future – spying wasn't a world they could be brought up in and neither of us wanted to see _anyone_ get put in a care home, let alone our child.

And no, we didn't get married. We decided we didn't need a ceremony to tell us we belonged to each other and the rings would definitely do nothing more than get in the way.


End file.
